So sad today

[Flowers24]

I am fed up, spent the whole day alone, teens in their rooms all day, i had visions of us maybe playing a board game or a walk, was met with ' nah im ok' and the bedroom door closes. Is it normal to feel so rejected ? This feels like a part of parenting no one tells you about, its hard.

:(

[GoWalkabout]

Ah, they come and go. It's good that you can flex to them.

[DuckbilledSplatterPuff]

Hi Flowers, I was just going to ask how you were doing but I'm glad to see you got your walk. Hope things are better this week.

[Flowers24]

My teen has cards against humanity but she'd rather die than play it with her mum she says.....
Weirdly was getting ready to have a relaxing bath and younger teen asks if we can go for a walk! Stopped bath and went. Offset the big row I had with older teen earlier....

[Silverfly]

Poker works with my teens!

[Fandabydosey]

As a mother of 2 teenage children I hear you

[JovialNickname]

A board game (well card game!) that teens seem to love is cards against humanity. You need to be quite open minded, not easily offended folk though!! Maybe try that with yours?

[LynetteScavo]

I just asked teen DD if she wanted to play a board game. She does and suggested monopoly Help!

[LynetteScavo]

Sorry, I can't help laughing that you thought teens might want to play board games with you.

The only time my teens want to interact with me is to ask for a lockdown driving lesson (where we have to pretend to be going somewhere essential) or ask for money.

If we do sit down to watch a film together they often walk off half way through.

Now is the time for you to do your nails in peace. For years I couldn't have nice nails because a small child always needed help before they were dry. These are the years of nice nails and organised bookcases.

[Lipz]

I've 5 teens here. It's another 'phase', we experience. This one lasts a bit longer than the others.


One minute they can't be without you, they're your shadow, you can't even go the loo or shower in peace without a million questions. Then suddenly they are in their rooms, off with mates etc. I do have a full house but it feels empty as they're doing their own thing.


My 5 are totally different, planning anything is impossible. The only thing where we all come together is holidays but that's not happened this year or last year.


I usually just go with them on what they want, I tried the family meals, the men would shovel their food down in 20 seconds, the women chat and half the time argue over who robbed whose top etc. We had all of meals together when they were younger, did the day trips together, sat watching movies together, went for walks together but that changes naturally as they are becoming more independent. The one thing I do ensure is the minute one wants to chat, I mute the TV or stop what I'm doing and listen, I think from always doing that they can talk to me about anything.


I am looking forward to restaurants re opening as we also enjoy doing that as a family. All you can do is be there for them, to not force things on them as their likes are changing. They will enter a new phase after this where they'll not be so embarrassed by us.


I was even a little surprised the other evening when I was going for a walk and I shouted up to them if anyone wanted to come along, I was surprised to see my 19year old ds come down ready and along he came, he never does this, we had a really good chat and it felt really nice.

[SweetToffee]

Yes. No matter what we ideal we have as a parent they’re teens. No point setting yourself for a probable disappointment.
You want to play scrabble ..No... ok.. move on
Hard I know.

[poppycat10]

Isn't it a good thing if they are happy to entertain themselves? It means you can do something for yourself!

[Workinghardeveryday]

It is hard op, they are getting older and need their own space, hard for us mums though!!
My teenager would laugh in my face I f I suggested a board game, try to get on their level and do something they would like now for their age.
It’s hard, last weekend they may have been totally up for board games, this weekend a total no no!
What about baking? At home ‘Come Dine With Me’? X

[Bearnecessity]

jeepers...

[Bearnecessity]

I am with you Op I am unable to settle to old hobbies, would have liked a mini trip to local beach for a walk which we haven't done for a year...he's busy I get it...but I am now staring down the rest of my life with bad empty nest syndrome, old age and loneliness...keepers not helping here am I....best I go....

[notanothertakeaway]

I think it's age appropriate they hide in their bedrooms. Try not to take it personally

[ineedaholidaynow]

We are having to encourage our poor teen DS to stay in his room to do revision for his non-GCSEs. Think spending time with us is preferable to that!

[PoptartPoptart]

Turn off the power at the trip switch and pretend it’s a power cut?
No lights or power for games consoles, etc.
Light candles downstairs in the front room and invite them down to tell spooky stories!
Would only work once though

[Flowers24]

Nope doesnt work here, dont want to do movie nights as they like different things, and one doesnt like movies, even food doesnt work,

Sunday morning? Morning doesnt exist here !

[PoptartPoptart]

My DS1 (15) spends most of his time in his room chatting to his friends online or playing on the console.

One thing I insist on is that he comes downstairs for all meals to eat with the family. No meals in his bedroom (snacks are ok but main meals are at the table together).

I agree with a pp - food is generally the way to a teenager’s heart.

Going for a walk once a week with the promise of hot chocolate and cake, or a stop off in a pub garden for a light bite and a Coke.
Or, every Sunday morning make a big breakfast and get him involved. I’ll often make pancakes and we have flipping competitions, or a fry up and he’ll be in charge of the bacon for example.

[BanginChoons]

I think the key is finding something they want to do. Mine are 16, 10 and 8, we do movie night once a month. It can be a bit of a challenge to agree on a movie but the food is the main draw. Pizza, sides, chocolate, popcorn, expensive ice cream, fizzy drinks (We don't normally have fizzy).
They look forward to it.
Otherwise, as others have said, enjoy the time. I've been looking forward to learning crochet once mine are older and leave me alone long enough to do so!

[bestbefore]

I hear you! It's a weird time! My DD and I enjoyed a trip to b&m the other day, obvs stuff like that is tricky at the moment but there was some stuff we need so we justified the trip. It was fun and nice to get her out of her room!

[Flowers24]

The only times I can get a quick chat is i drop the eldest at work and we chat in the car, with the younger one we go for drives and listen to her (horrific"!) lovely music and chat a bit, so I guess i just have to grab those odd moments (and yes they can happen just as I am about to go to sleep)

[Flowers24]

Thank you! I know deep down it is normal but felt so rejected and lonely all day? I suppose I should have just gone out for a walk on my own or watched something I like on tv. I also feel its come on sudden, there are years or entertaining kids and them being around you all the time then it feels as if it suddenly stops.
Normally we'd all go for a meal once a month or sometimes do a family treat day out (escape room for example) but cant atm obviously !
I am NOT going to sit about all sad today!!

[BigSandyBalls2015]

It is normal but can be upsetting. Just make sure you’re available during the random times they do want to talk ... usually as you’re about to go to bed

[DuckbilledSplatterPuff]

It sounds very typical and it goes in phases.
Food was always an attraction. Buying milkshake ingredients and letting them have at it. A walk would generate no interest. A walk which included a cafe ( takeaways) would be a different matter. Sometimes they just don’t want too much conversation so we’d all put on a podcast and then we’d still get some chat about it. But its def a sign of them building independence.