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AIBU?

Push this or leave it?

7 replies

ThrowawayName111 · 01/04/2021 08:22

DH and I have 1 very young DC and he has 2 older DC ( 8 & 10 ).

I have thought for some time and have mentioned a few times that I think DH gives them far too much crap to eat.

Our meals are always pretty healthy but I mean in the way of snacks and 'pudding'.

It's not uncommon for him to give them a bag of sweets (a big share bag) after tea or a whole box of biscuits or similar and big glasses of coke etc...

If they were here EOW it might not be a huge issue but we have them 50% of the time so 3 nights one week, 4 the next so it's pretty regular.

Neither child is overweight but I just don't feel comfortable with it for other reasons, teeth a big one! I was never allowed to eat so much crap as a kid.

As our DC gets older I just know I definitely won't allow them to eat the same things all of the time. Treats is one thing but this is every night they are with us after tea and even worse at weekend because it's throughout the day too as snacks.

I've mentioned it to him before and he agrees but then nothing really changes. I've tried just buying less stuff, I don't want to literally buy no treats at all, but they just go to the shop instead round the corner.

Do I just leave it and let him crack on parenting how he wants but ensure I do it differently with our DC when the time comes or do I push it again?

YANBU - just leave him to it.

YABU - push it.

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Am I being unreasonable?

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You are being unreasonable

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You are NOT being unreasonable

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Orchidflower1 · 01/04/2021 10:57

@ThrowawayName111 and @FuckyouCovid21 the reason for my asking about the payment was to establish what kind of family set up you have.

Some blended families split it so that the bio parent pays for their bio child(ren). If that was your case it would have made a difference in how you tackle it but since it’s actually shared money that is buying the crap it’s different IMO.

Could the simple solution to a bigger problem surely be just not to buy them in the “big” shop. Yes dh will probably still pick them up at the corner shop/ coop but the lack of readily available crap will lessen the problem whilst you work on the bigger problem.

Is your dh “feeding” the children’s affections? Has he always fed them like this when living with their mum? Do the chn eat like this with their mum? Is dh feeding the emotional void he has left in the dc?

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harknesswitch · 01/04/2021 10:10

It's a really bad habit to get them into. It's all well and good when they are young and active, but it's a slippery slope to obesity when they get older.
I'm all for a pudding after tea but it's usually fruit and yogurt, cakes and sweets are a once a week treat

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DrinkFeckArseBrick · 01/04/2021 10:03

A couple of sweets or a biscuit is fine, but whole packets of biscuits and whole bags of sweets is setting them up for really bad habits, with a 'once the packets open it must be finished' and 'every meal must end with a treat' mentality. I wouldnt be happy either.

I think you do need to say something and agree on a way forward if you don't want your childs to have the same treatment as you can't really treat them differently when they are at your house half the time