Hi,
I moved to a country town six months ago after leaving my husband who I have a three year old boy with.
It was a big decision to leave my husband and move three hours away to another town.
I chose to move three hours away because...
- I had no family in our city and minimal support
- He was physically abusive and strangled me three times during our marriage and hit me. I was never badly injured or hospitalised but it was a high stress volatile marriage.
- he became obsessed with his catholic faith and angry if I went to the shops on Sunday, tried to vote for gay marriage etc etc and was extreme about his beliefs and obsessively lecture me about them.
- he was obsessed with my inheritance and doing the right thing to spend it well and harassed me constantly about what property I should buy and that we should buy a house together.
I felt as though every aspect of my life was controlled and he would guilt trip me about how depressed and suicidal he was whenever I tried to leave and preyed on all of my insecuriritiew that he knew about, eg he would tell me that I would ruin my son emotionally and fail as a mother in my own. He said he would kill himself and that I would never see my son again.
When I did eventually leave he harassed me in the phone, cried when I tried to do visits, blocked my car in the driveway, yelled and tried to stop me leaving and scare our son and I had to call police.
I was mentally and emotionally drained and stressed and moved three hours away because I knew that otherwise I would be harassed and I needed that’s space to not feel his control over me. I literally feel like I’m going to have a panic attack when I drive into his city or visit him because it reminds me of the emotional hold and manipulation.
I am happy in my new town and I drive up every fortnight to drop off my son and collect him to his Husband/his dad for visits.
My husband Continues to guilt me about moving here and I feel physically sick with guilt and pressure. He refuses to drive here for visits or do ant of the driving.
The other aspect to this is that he works his own hours so sleeps until midday and goes to bed at 2am. This does not fit in with a toddler so he needs his mother to help with visits. When I lived with him I felt like a single parent anyway.
I feel guilty that he is so sad and just sad about the situation.
I feel sad that I didn’t see my toddler over Christmas and that he doesn’t have both his parents with him on Christmas Day.
I feel sad I have little to no family of my own and an only child and have separated from my husband and failed at making my own family, I know my son had a fun few days over Christmas with all his cousins and his dad and grandparents, without me and I did this so he wouldn’t feel bored. But I feel sad that I don’t have the sorts of friendship groups or family of my own that can give him that.
I just feel down and sad in general and would like support.
Please no bitchy comments, I am not in the mood.