Doesn’t bother all year but wants to go to his school play.

[AG29]

I am stuck. I have a child with my ex we split when he was tiny. He’s always been a bit hit and miss seeing him, no consistency and DS hasn’t seen his dad much in several months. It’s a mix of my ex not making an effort and DS realising what his dad is like and avoiding him. It’s been really tough.

Then it comes to this time of year and suddenly the ex wants be involved - school plays, nativities, Christmas fayres etc etc. DS doesn’t feel comfortable with this as things have been strained.

DS doesn’t want to his dad to go got the school play to watch him. He’s never even picked him up from school or bothered with any of his schooling. Never been to a parents evening or anything.

Aibu to think he can’t not bother all year and be all gushy at this time of year??

[sue51]

If he wants to go its up to him to find out the details. Sounds like he wants to put in his annual good dad performance.

[AG29]

Pretty much every year at Christmas. But things have been non harder for a while now. Not seeing him etc so this year is a little different.

[TreeTopTim]

I wouldn't even tell him where and when. If he wants to go he can contact the school and find out. If he was an involved parent he would be getting this information from the school automatically.

Does he do this every Christmas or is it just this Christmas? Could he have a new girlfriend who he wants to show her how much of a loving father he is

[Lllot5]

I wouldn’t even tell him where and when. He can find out himself if he’s that bothered.

[JasonPollack]

I would just ignore him if your son doesn't want him there. His wishes should be paramount.

[inwood]

Totally agree, don't facilitate, tell him where and when and he can sort it out for himself as an adult.

[Littlecaf]

Agree with IvyWinters. Tell him where and when and leave him to sort out getting there. Don’t enable him.

[IvyWinters]

YANBU but you can’t stop him. However, you also don’t have to accommodate him.

If he wants to go to the play he’s within his own rights to buy a ticket, but it’s not your job to buy one for him. It’s also up to your son how he interacts with his father if he does show up.

I suggest you stay out of it as much as you can!