I met this girl over an app a couple months ago and really liked her. We went on two very long dates, kissed for quite a long time on the second one and were texting loads. Then she is never free to hang out and eventually tells me that she's not ready to be in a relationship because she is only recently broken up with her long term partner. I was disappointed but understanding and said look ill see you round.
Then out of nowhere, she texts me a big long apology that she really liked me and was finally ready to date after the breakup and really wanted to give it another go. I say sure, we talk all week and go on another very long date.
During the date it becomes clear that a)the apology was a drunk text and b) she has been dating other people since we met, so obviously the 'I'm not ready for dating' line wasnt true but I said whatever. I mention in passing that I'm kind of anti open relationships for myself because they have ended disastrously for me because I have always found myself coming in second to whoever is the third because they are new and demand less effort.
At the very end of the date, she reveals she has an ongoing friends with benefits situation with a close friend of hers. They considered making it serious but then wanted different things, but it was still very much live when we were on that date.
I got quite annoyed and was like this really doesn't vibe with what you've been telling me about not wanting to be in a relationship before now. I kind of felt like every other option had been expended before returning to me and now I was going to have to compete with an established sexual relationship, which kind of makes the whole early dating process far more fraught. I personally also don't see the difference between a close friend you have sex with and a girlfriend, I think fwb is semantics, particularly when you're hypothetically looking for something serious.
I now feel like kind of a dick for getting so angry. Obviously we're not exclusive and I totally wouldnt mind if she was dating other new people, or had she not spun me such a yarn about how much she liked me. I'd already been rejected once by this girl and now I was like my time has been wasted twice.
AIBU to have gotten kind of mad and left?
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AIBU?
To be annoyed a date has an fwb having told me they were looking to pursue something serious?
5 replies
caketree93 · 24/11/2019 16:52
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
23 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
26%
You are NOT being unreasonable
74%
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