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AIBU?

to not want to neighbours kids playing in our garden?

18 replies

happyhat · 22/07/2007 13:40

they are lovely children and all that, but i have my hands full with my own and they are very different in age so don't play together. they have their own garden ... not sure how to nip it in the bud without becoming mean-lady-next-door.

OP posts:

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OrmIrian · 24/07/2007 13:48

mtpw " for a walk, come back, send your kids right round next door. "

I do that, But the buggers never answer the door. Then ten mins later they come round to our house again. Infuriating!

However I feel I get good value from my neighbours kids - the 13yr old took my 8 yr old and 4 yr old to feed the ducks this morning - in fact is always doing stuff like that, and DS#1 is out in the park with another one on his bike. So all in all they are worth the hassle - at least during the holidays.

Being severly tested on my resolution never to fee uninvited kids in my house. Gave my kids lunch and didn't offer the visitor anything - got the evils from DS#1 but I don't care . Some principles are worth sticking to.

dayofftomorrow · 24/07/2007 13:37

we have (had) a neighbour who works shifts as does his wife, last summer hols their children would play in our garden so he could get ready for work as he needed to leave just as the wife was getting home. Turned out he wanted the kids out of the way so he could arrange to meet his lady friend on the way to work

happyhat · 24/07/2007 11:50

stoppinatwo - was a bit worried there but no, i don't think they're yours! they do ask first and i find it hard to say no because mostly there's no real reason two, apart from not being in the mood. they're school age, mine are toddler and 2 months old, so not really playmates! they also want to get in to nose around the house. I think the old owners used to let them in the garden so they're used to it. parents seem v nice and reasonable so i'll try to explain.

OP posts:

ZacharyQuack · 23/07/2007 06:25

ElasticWoman, could your neighbour move next door to me please?

Elasticwoman · 22/07/2007 19:07

We have a lack of fence between us and next door, and all the children (6 between both families) play in both gardens, but I am not held responsible for the welfare of the other kids because their parents can see them just as easily in our garden as in their own. Our children often play in their garden too, as although much smaller, it has more play equipment. Nextdoor's children do often come and play at our house, but they knock at the backdoor and only come in if invited (I say no if we're having a meal, or other good reason). Then I do feel responsible for them - but our children often go to their house so it's swings and roundabouts.

It's worked really well for us for 3 years - those neighbours are moving this week. Sob!

We have also done a lot of babysitting for each other over the years - by arrangement, as favours, never counting up how much each has done for the other. It's very useful to have a good babysitter next door.

alicet · 22/07/2007 18:53

Cammelia - totally shocked at the mother of the boys!!!! Can't blame children for trying it on a bit I guess as they don't necessarily know any better (especially not if they have this as an example) but if I was their mum I would be mortified if this happened!!! Certainly wouldn't try and make out that it was reasonable! Glad you managed to sort it in the end!

Have to say I would be very uncomfortable in this situation so I really feel for you all! Our garden is totally fenced in (and not that big) so luckily this is unlikely to happen for us but I'm shocked so many of you have experienced it!

Cammelia · 22/07/2007 18:43

I had this several years ago when my dd was a baby, a family of 4 boys would come into my garden and start playing football or whatever

When I asked them to leave they told me their mother had said they could

When I went round to their house, several houses away (I didn't know their mother!) she wanted to know why they couldn't as I have a big garden and slammed the door in my face

They kept coming in and eventually were climbing trees looking in my bedroom window etc. I called the police who had a word with the family and they never came in again. However they did give me filthy looks if I ever saw them.

What's really funny is that the eldest has now joined the police force and looks sheepish if I ever see him

Eve · 22/07/2007 18:29

My neighbours 2 used to wander into our garden, help them self to the toys etc.

Last straw was when I caught one in my sons bedroom (my sons were outside playing) he got booted out quickly and now not allowed into the garden at all.

Luckily we have communal land as its a private estate, and kick them all out onto that.

mammamic · 22/07/2007 18:06

how well do you know their parents? i'd speak to them. it's one of those situations - the longer you leave it, the worse it will get.

explain that your garden is your haven or whatever and that you can't really relax if they're in there. if you odn't mind them playing htere sometimes, say so but make an agreement with them that they ask first.

totally reasonable...

stoppinattwo · 22/07/2007 17:55

happyhat.....................you dont live next to us do you

TooTicky · 22/07/2007 17:35

We had a hellish year somewhere with no fence between our garden and next door. 4 children would come and play. Nice enough children, in their way, but I just felt I couldn't go out there so ds1 (1yo at the time) and I were sort of imprisoned indoors while dd1 went out and played - well, I couldn't say no to her.
They also used to come into the house and sometimes we'd get the feeling we were being watched, and lo and behold there they were.

alicet · 22/07/2007 17:29

My mum has this problem. She has 2 girls next door who used to keep coming in a playing in the garden. She now goes out and says to them 'you can't come and play here unless you ask first' and now they ask first. Sometimes she lets them and sometimes she doesn't. Works OK.

happyhat · 22/07/2007 14:10

all sound very rational. thanks.

OP posts:

charliecat · 22/07/2007 13:52

Do nip it in the bud. If they are not playing with your kids send them home. Can you go play in your own garden now? Simple, but hopefully effective.

EscapeFrom · 22/07/2007 13:46

Tell them it is time for them to go home - I get sick to the bloody back teeth of being the neighbourhoods unofficial playscheme, and I send them home without a second thought.

mytwopenceworth · 22/07/2007 13:45

Get your coat on, gather your kids and say, right guys, you are going to have to go home now, we're popping out. The kids will come and play later.

Go for a walk, come back, send your kids right round next door.

erm

rinse and repeat as required.

gonna wash those kids right out of my hair....

DangerousBeans · 22/07/2007 13:43

Just tell them they have to go home in 10 minutes because you've got things to do.

mamazon · 22/07/2007 13:42

if they pklay in yours today send your into theirs tomorrow.

either their mum will gettired of your beinfg over all teh time and therefore stiop for you or you get a bit of free childminding.

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