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To think there should be a minimum age limit on ear piercing
335

Forthepurposesofthetape · 11/04/2019 08:33

Was in a well known accessories shop yesterday and witnesses a mum getting her child's ears pierced. The child could have only have been about a year old and screamed the place down. She was so distressed. I really don't understand why it's necessary to do it at that age, it seems so unnecessarily cruel! Angry

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Whatsername7 · 13/04/2019 13:50

Dd7 has literally just had hers done today. Im quite gutted. I didn't want her to have them done at all, but she has been asking me since she was 6. I said she could at 7, then dragged my feel for 9 months. Finally, dh agreed to take her today. We made her watch youtube videos of ears being pierced, took her to a ear piercing specialist. The piercist explained to dh that she would stop at the first sign of upset. She had a good chat with dd first and asked her why she wanted them done. Then and only then did she do it. Dd is over the moon. I feel sad my baby ia growing up. I completely agree that children have the right to consent, but part of body autonomy is letting them have an opinion on what happens to their body. Dd7 didnt have her first hair cut until she was 5.5 as she didnt want to have it cut. Since then, she has cut her beautiful long hair short twice! I would have preferred it longer, but it is her hair.

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InspectorClouseauMNdivision · 13/04/2019 13:26

*fgm

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InspectorClouseauMNdivision · 13/04/2019 13:25

I can see the by-monthly earrings thread has again turned into chavvy, mgm etc thing.
I have to say I am bit disappointed.

And surprised. Everyone is appaled by small child getting ears pierced, but no one is appaled by where?
I am fine with babies getting ears pierced. I had it done. But fgs, how can someone have anything pierced in the middle of a freaking shopping centre in Claire's🤢
At least where I am from it's done by a doctor in sterile environment.

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purplealiensdontwearhats · 13/04/2019 13:10

@FuriousCheekyFucker 😂😂😂😂😂

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mrsmuddlepies · 13/04/2019 13:07

MissPollyHadADolly19
'No one's culture should be belittled though'.
What about FGM, which is cultural and traditional but not required by religions? Do you think, in spite of UK law and UN condemnation of this practice, it should be supported because it is 'cultural'?

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woollyheart · 13/04/2019 10:44

I agree with people that the child should be old enough to remove the earrings themselves without help before they are allowed to have them.

And they shouldn't be allowed to wear them to school as it is dangerous for some activities. It is unreasonable to expect teachers to take care of jewellery.

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Hoppinggreen · 13/04/2019 08:51

Peoples culture SHOULD age “belittled “ if it involves making holes in or cutting bits off their child for non medical reasons without that child’s consent - which (in my opinion) it can’t give until its 16

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KittensinaBlender · 12/04/2019 22:45

I’ve just let DD have hers done at six which I personally think is too young but is six years too late according to my DH’s family (they pierce babies ears, which I think looks awful). They are forever sending her earrings as a gift and so she has been asking since she was three/four and as all her cousins and most of her classmates have it done. I relented because I felt like I was stubbornly holding onto something that wasn’t all that important.

She knew what it entailed because I showed her videos and went and watched a couple of piercings being done beforehand so I do feel she was able to consent, although I still feel it is “gilding the lily” a bit.

I would support a ban on babies and toddlers being pierced - it’s just unnecessary.

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MissPollyHadADolly19 · 12/04/2019 22:29

@Tapasfortwo well for one thing in the Hindu religion it is called Karnavedha, usually done in the 1st or 3rd year of a babies life. Only reason I know this is because I worked with a woman who had her ears pierced as a baby and it became the topic of conversation - although now it is done in a more sterile environment, she had hers done with a needle and thread then gold earrings pushed through. Similar to my old Nigerian neighbour who used a needle, thread and an apple to pierce her daughter's ears but just left the black thread in. Poor baby got a terrible infectionSad
There's lots of different cultural reasons though, some people believe it regulates a girls periods when they're older and alsorts. No one's culture should be belittled though.

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Whobloodyknows · 12/04/2019 20:36

I was one when I had my ears pierced and although I have no memory of it, the holes in my ears are unusually high so some hoop earrings don’t fit if they are too small etc and I am very conscious of the fact.

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TapasForTwo · 12/04/2019 20:15

I'm still waiting for someone to explain the cultural reasons for piercing babies' ears.

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oblada · 12/04/2019 20:01

It's pointless having a thread like this on mumsnet as everyone is just agreeing with each other and insulting the minority who doesnt.

2 of my kids had their ears pierced as babies (ard 12-18months). Partly cultural but also our choice entirely. It was done properly (needle) with no distress and allowed us to ensure it was fully healed before school. It was done at an 'easy' age. I wouldn't do it at 2yrs old until about 9-10yrs old personally.
My son hasn't had his ears pierced not because he's a boy (culturally both genders have pierced ears) but because he was being assessed due to seizures etc at the time so that was not at the forefront of our minds. Now it's too late so I'll wait for him to ask in the future, if he does.

We make all sorts of decisions for our kids for various reasons. I do not believe this is the most pointless, selfish or 'abusive', far from it. If done properly it doesn't cause distress.

I'll step out now as I know it's pointless and people would rather agree with each other and vilify people who do things differently LOL

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ooooohbetty · 12/04/2019 19:43

My daughter had to wait until she was 13. It was like a teenager rite of passage and was something for her to look forward to. She did ask lots of times over the years if she could get them done but because I'm the parent I had no problems saying no.

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DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 12/04/2019 14:08

I got mine done at 12, end of year 7. I'd set a limit of 11 or 12 I think. Other than a couple of girls who had them done younger just because or for cultural reasons, most of my year got them done in the summer hols after years 6,7,8 or 9. I still know a few people who haven't, their choice. My mum was 30! You should definitely be old enough to consent, understand it's going to hurt and be capable of sensibly looking after your holes and the jewellery without needing help (unless there's a problem). I don't think it's a good idea on younger children, and I don't like earrings on men so I wouldn't allow a son of mine to get it done until they were at least 16. Preferably 18.

My junior school didn't allow earrings to be worn in school at all, so piercings had to be done in summer hols. A couple of girls in my year pushed their luck and got second holes done, in term time to boot. They definitely weren't allowed to keep the piercings. In seniors, we were only allowed one set of studs in, and they had to be out completely for PE, so again, summer holidays.

I agree that only body piercers should be allowed to do it. My old manager had previously worked at Claires & trained people to pierce. She used to let people practice on her and she had some shit ones! Also went to school with someone who had one lobe pierced correctly and one pierced through the bottom- nice n wonky. Claires handiwork Hmm.

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TrixieFranklin · 12/04/2019 10:01

I think we've inspired BBC Newsround to raise questions over this too!

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/amp/47898503

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70isaLimitNotaTarget · 12/04/2019 09:40

I'm taking my 16yo DD to have some dermal hoops put in her back either side of her spine - double duty she can lace up her skin like a corset and I can attach a long line dog lead to keep her away from Urban Outfitters and TopShop.

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GinTimeAtHome · 12/04/2019 09:02

My dd who’s 8 has been repeatedly asking for hers to be done! She started asking when she was 6!

I’ve explained what will happen and it will hurt she’s still adamant 🤷‍♀️ I’m trying to hold off till next year. I don’t think that she’s quite able to look after them at the moment.

I’m not keen on babies having their ears done I don’t think that is right.

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HotChocolateLover · 12/04/2019 08:51

I had to leave Claire’s a few weeks ago when a little baby, probably about 4 months old was getting hers done. She was so smiley before hand but was literally red in the face sobbing once they had done the first one and then there was still the other 😥

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AnxietyFarts · 12/04/2019 08:45

I can't believe that well-known accessories shop is STILL allowed to pierce ears full stop. They give piercings in the middle of a crowded, unclean shop, using piercing guns which should be banned completely. Im 100% against very young kids getting their ears done... How on earth do you keep a one year old from messing with freshly pierced ears long enough for them to heal? And how is a one year old supposed to be able to consent to piercings??

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SoftBlocks · 12/04/2019 08:44

  1. I just don’t think it looks nice on young children anyway. I got mine done at 12 then two more times in my teens. I loved wearing earrings. But I don’t like them on little kids.
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JacquesHammer · 12/04/2019 08:41

cushellekoala

Great post.

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Sawyershair · 12/04/2019 08:41

I’ve seen the aftermath of a 3 year old who got her earring stuck in a string hammock before she fell off it. Ripped the earring straight through the hole, complete with the clasp and some of her hair. Was utterly grim.

Mine were allowed there’s when they could ask, take them in and out themselves and keep them clean and when they knew and understood it would hurt.

Most decent tattooists/piercers wouldn’t touch a baby or toddler. If your piercer will then ask yourself why!

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cushellekoala · 12/04/2019 08:39

I don't agree with "it looks chavvy" as a valid argument against ear piercing. Who am i to judge what babies look like? There are certain things i think look silly on a baby and i am not going to list them but thats my opinion and its personal choice on how we dress our children before they express their own preferences. (Assuming the clothes were safe and weather appropriate) That said i do disagree with piercing babies ears for the pain/trauma inflicted without their knowledge or consent, and the risk of catching earrings on things or finding them and choking. Those are tangible things that could harm a baby, not just that it doesn't fit my ideal of what a baby should look like!

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Mississippilessly · 12/04/2019 08:28

Cherrypavlova how is it sexualising them? What is sexual about an ear piercing?

Also I thi I the concerns over a career are a little OTT. Piercings can be removed if that was a problem.

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Biancadelrioisback · 12/04/2019 08:25

I come from a cultural background (won't specify) but we have many things we do because it's out culture, the thing is, I don't blindly follow the instructions on the tin. If I don't know the reason behind something, why would I do it? Surely that is the lemming approach. Oh it's my culture to jump off this cliff because that's what everyone else has done. Best jump too!

Pinkyyy can you tell me why it is part of your culture and how shoving metal posts into a child's head helps to showcase that you want the best for them? Surely what's best for the child would to not be in pain and possibly face an infection? It's an unnecessary procedure that causes pain and can easily go wrong.

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