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To think there should be a minimum age limit on ear piercing
335

Forthepurposesofthetape · 11/04/2019 08:33

Was in a well known accessories shop yesterday and witnesses a mum getting her child's ears pierced. The child could have only have been about a year old and screamed the place down. She was so distressed. I really don't understand why it's necessary to do it at that age, it seems so unnecessarily cruel! Angry

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TapasForTwo · 14/04/2019 07:56

What are the cultural reasons? Why can no-one answer this question? Being a "rite of passage" is IMO not a valid reason.

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SimonJT · 14/04/2019 07:46

Sadly where I’m from girls have their ears pierced and boys have healthy parts of their body removed without pain relief, just because something is a custom it doesn’t mean it isn’t cruel or barbaric. Personally my sons needs and welfare will alway be more important than any custom.

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SandyY2K · 14/04/2019 07:43

I thought the minimum age was older than 12 months in Claires.

Having said that for me it is cultural and if that's not your culture, you won't have the understanding.

I had my ears pierced around 4-6 weeks old, same as my mum and the same with my nieces.

It's the same as male circumcision. Some people think it's brutal, but it's part of my culture.

You can have your opinion on it, but that doesn't make it wrong.

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Raspberry88 · 14/04/2019 07:17

No it's not, it is for vanity purposes in the western world.

Well it's traditional in Spain for one. The 'western world' encompasses many different cultures. But if we're talking about the UK then yes, vanity reasons. But why does it matter. The baby doesn't know the reasoning behind being pierced and again, cannot consent to it.
yet some may look down at the "western culture" for things we see as totally normal.
People look down on all sorts of stuff and they can do. I'm not looking down on people but just being consistent with my views on bodily autonomy.

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Vulpine · 13/04/2019 22:57

16 is about right.

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AppleBru · 13/04/2019 22:54

Yup. Superdrug have started this shit too now

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MissPollyHadADolly19 · 13/04/2019 22:54

No it's not, it is for vanity purposes in the western world.
Many cultures believe it acts as a form of "acupuncture" or as I said above about religious rituals.
Some also as a rite of passage for a baby girl to have her ears pierced.
If you ask any westerner who pierced their baby's ears, I doubt it would be anything but vanity or fashion statement.

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Tunnocks34 · 13/04/2019 21:35

I think I was 5 when I had mine done.

I remember I was desperate to have them done, I asked my mum for what seemed like forever to have them done, and she let me have them done the day I broke up from reception. I don’t remember it hurting, I just remember being thrilled to be honest.

I wouldn’t pierce a babies ears though. I think I’d follow the lead of my child, if they wanted them done, and they had wanted them for a while, and could clean them themselves, even with my help, I’d allow it.

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almostsunny · 13/04/2019 21:35

My daughter had her ears pierced at 2.5 and she didn't even cry. (At Claire's)
They were amazing with her and asked her whether she wanted earrings, I explained it would hurt and she amazed me by not crying.

The younger the better as they are less likely to touch the ears and get them infected. I have never cleaned her ears and they have been perfectly fine. She is 5 now and loves changing her earrings for party.

P.s we are not a 'chavy' family. We are a well educated non English family. I love my earrings and change mind everyday. I have worn earrings since I was 3 months old. Earrings are very special in my culture.

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Cryalot2 · 13/04/2019 21:24

I think they should be teenagers . Old enough to decide and to look after them .
Also at that age they will know it hurts a bit and their choice

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MumUnderTheMoon · 13/04/2019 21:18

Putting an age limit on piercing seems very arbitrary to me. My dd was 7 when she got hers done she asked and I said yes as I don't have a problem with it. She did get a bit worked up and I said we'd just go home but she was determined. Honestly I don't like the look of earrings on babies myself but when I saw how much she was worried about it I did just wish I'd done it when she was a baby and saved her the hassle. She's 11 now and if she asked for a second set or even a third I wouldn't say no nor would I say no to getting her nose pierced. I wouldn't want her to have her belly button or lip done yet for example but as I say it's all a bit arbitrary.

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Raspberry88 · 13/04/2019 21:11

yet some may look down at the "western culture" for things we see as totally normal.

But ear piercing babies is a thing in some western cultures. It's something that happens inside of lots of different cultures and outside of them too. The only people bringing 'culture' into the debate are those who are using it as a justification for it. But there are many cultural practices that have been phased out over time and there's no reason for this to be any different.

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MissPollyHadADolly19 · 13/04/2019 20:56

@Raspberry88 I'm not accusing anyone of belittling but these threads can get abit heated when it comes down to ear piercing and cultures get brought into it, yet some may look down at the "western culture" for things we see as totally normal.

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Lalalalalalalalaland · 13/04/2019 20:39

My daughter got hers done for her 7th birthday after asking for nearly a year. I wanted to wait until 10ish.

She understood it would hurt and they would get infected if she didnt take care of them. She cleaner and twisted them 3 times daily for 5 months (meant to be 6 weeks but she did it as routine until the bottle of cleaner ran out)

I am happy woth the decision, i didn't once have to remind her to clean or twist them, they were done at a reputable beauty salon with a needle.

I think 7 is a good minimum age

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Raspberry88 · 13/04/2019 20:38

I didn't say support the culture I said not to belittle - there is a difference.

It isn't belittling to have and express concern about a particular tradition or practice within a culture. Nothing and no one is above criticism and it's important that we don't ignore uncomfortable issues because of a fear of causing offence. I would never belittle a whole culture but ear piercing is just a single issue and I am certain that within any culture and it's community there is difference of opinion.

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Krimpy · 13/04/2019 20:29

We had sixteen as the age of consent for an invasive procedure. Ours knew it was pointless asking before then.

What self-respecting teen who wanted their ears pierced would wait until the permitted age of 16 as set down by mummy and daddy. Every teen needs a spark of rebellion in them even if it's just committing the shocking crime of having their ears pierced at 14 behind their parents' back.

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70isaLimitNotaTarget · 13/04/2019 19:45

I was in that shop a while ago, a couple were in with a very young child , about 2yo maybe 3.
The Dad was holding ( as in restraining(her as the Mum filmed it. The girl screamed .
The Mum looked over at me , smiling as she filmed , in a Oh this is so lovely such a milestone way .
I hope the look of pure disgust I gave her left as nasty a taste in her mouth as I had from what I witnessed .


And I have seen several upset children having this dine, I have no idea what the level of distress would have to be for them to refuse.

It is a 'prettier' shop than a Tattoo Artists . My DD has had needle piercings , she said they do not hurt at all, you feel the jewellery not the needle and if its your ear , you hear a 'pop'

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BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 13/04/2019 19:30

So that time is this summer - ive since read so much about not getting it done at Clares but where else do you go.

You go to a good piercing studio that use needles not guns. You get titanium studs. You wait until the child is old enough to be fully responsible for their own piercings. For my DD this was when she was 12. We booked to have them done on the last day of summer term as no earrings of any sort were allowed at school. I had to prove I was her Mum (my passport and her birth certificate) and they said they’d like to have Dads consent too, which he gave in writing. The heavily tattooed and pierced gentleman that did it was lovely. They told us not to bother with fancy “healing” products, just use salt water. No fiddling for six weeks then return for a check that all was sufficiently healed for different earrings to be worn and go back ANY time if any problems or queries.

I got banned from a forum once for expressing my feelings on pinning down a child and causing pain for aesthetic purposes so I I’ll not say any more....

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MissPollyHadADolly19 · 13/04/2019 19:11

I didn't say support the culture I said not to belittle - there is a difference.
Sigh FGM is no where near in comparison to ear piercing, a clitoris won't grow back, ear piercing holes can heal.
Besides if it was even remotely close to FGM do you not think it would be illegal for all ages?

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Whatsername7 · 13/04/2019 18:04

There in lies the crux - it is up to parents to say no to certain things. Every parent has different red lines. At 7 (nearly 8) the only reason I had to stop my dd getting her ears pierced was be because I dont like how grown up they make her look. Two small holes in her ears, properly cared for and looked after, are not going to put her in any danger. Her school requires them to be taped up for PE which she can do herself (we practised). Happy to agree to disagree with you.

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Hoppinggreen · 13/04/2019 17:46

7 year olds want a lot of things, many of them are dangerous, inappropriate or just a really bad idea. As parents it’s up to us to say no to certain things. As I tell my dc when I say no it would probably be easier for me to let them do what they want but but if I think it’s a really bad idea it’s up to me to protect them from themselves and be the bad guy sometimes
As I said I personally hate it but I try not to judge as we all have different parenting styles and opinions on things but letting a 7 year old have unnecessary extra holes in their body for purely cosmetic reasons and then be “gutted” about it is pretty hypocritical

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Whatsername7 · 13/04/2019 17:22

Hopping I think you are being a little obtuse. I wasn't whinging, just adding my opinion to everyone elses. Im sad my baby is growing up. She looks so much older, and, like many mums it makes me whistful for her baby days. It wouldnt have been my choice for her to have her ears pierced, but it was hers. Of course she could grow up perfectly well being told no and made to wait. However, my dh and I have chosen not to refuse her request now as it is one that has been discussed and she has been properly informed. Not quite the same as a parent who pierces their childs ears when the child doesnt want it done or is too young to consent. My point was, not every parent allows a child younger than 16 to pierce their ears for themselves, sometimes it is because the child wants it. I don't have pierced ears, so dd hasnt been influenced by me.

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llewellyn25 · 13/04/2019 16:57

I totally agree.

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Hoppinggreen · 13/04/2019 16:22

whatsername you cant be that gutted or you wouldn’t have let her have them done.
I don’t like it, I don’t agree with it but I know some people do and unfortunately it’s their choice whether to do this to their child. To be fair to you it looks like it wasn’t just a whim and you did take her to a specialist
BUT don’t come on here and whinge about being upset your “baby” had them done, she couldn’t have had if you hadn’t allowed it.
It’s not part of growing up, my 14 year old has managed to grow up without extra holes in her body and her brother is too

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