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AIBU?

To think there should be a minimum age limit on ear piercing

335 replies

Forthepurposesofthetape · 11/04/2019 08:33

Was in a well known accessories shop yesterday and witnesses a mum getting her child's ears pierced. The child could have only have been about a year old and screamed the place down. She was so distressed. I really don't understand why it's necessary to do it at that age, it seems so unnecessarily cruel! Angry

OP posts:
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Milkand2sugarsplease · 14/04/2019 17:24

It's none of my business what other parents choose for their children but I do wish more would do their research about guns v needles first. I've had several piercings with guns both as an older child and a teen and have grim memories of it. I've also had piercings with needles which are far less brutal both during the piercing and afterwards.

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gigi556 · 14/04/2019 17:08

Interesting how many people think it's appalling! I had my ears pierced as did my sister when we were babies (under a year I think). It doesn't bother me at all and in fact I think it's the best way to do. It'll heal quickly and the baby is too young to mess with it much. Never have to worry about the wholes closing up even if you don't wear earrings for ages. It's quite unusual to meet any woman without her ears pierced.... I mean most women/girls do seem to want them and I don't know anyone who had it done as a baby who wishes it hadn't been done. I get where everyone is coming from and I'd hardly tattoo a baby but it just doesn't seem a big deal to me.

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Vulpine · 14/04/2019 16:43

I wouldn't let my kids have it done even if they wanted it

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Queenofmyownheart · 14/04/2019 16:42

I waited for my kids to want to have it done. Both times landed around the 5/6 age mark. That being said I know people that have had it done to their babies. I don't judge. In my opinion if you start clamping down and requesting minimum ages on things it's a slippery slope. The ear piercing debate will rage on through time. Each to their own surely?

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JacquesHammer · 14/04/2019 16:35

No, but crying over caring parents doing something to safe and loved kids is a waste of tears

You missed “in my opinion” of the end of that sentence.

Tightening up and regulating the piercing industry including banning places like claire’s from butchering kids is something that’s important TO ME.

And yes, if you have your baby’s ears modified without their consent I think you’re not as “caring” a parent as you’d like to think. You care more about your own vanity than you do your baby, in my opinion.

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Jasmineallenestate · 14/04/2019 16:32

No, but crying over caring parents doing something to safe and loved kids is a waste of tears.

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JacquesHammer · 14/04/2019 16:27

Sort this shit out first!

Are people only permitted to be concerned about one issue at once....?

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Jasmineallenestate · 14/04/2019 16:26

Current Guardian headlines....9 year old killed by dog (illegal breed) and 29 women and children from Vietnam found in van trafficked towork in Devon. Sort this shit out first!

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Jasmineallenestate · 14/04/2019 16:17

I think some people have answered they don't think there should be an age limit. Others have answered they should. Not agreeing is not the same as not answering. The leftie mums are the least democratic people in the entire interweb unreal world. Answer the question as long as you agree, otherwise your opinion is invisible.

I am still awaiting the answer to the suggested criminalizing of the traveller community. Please confirm you want to do this...and good luck with that Grin

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TapasForTwo · 14/04/2019 14:01
Grin
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Raspberry88 · 14/04/2019 13:58

Yes, you are. It's awfully sad. Don't you have any other worries?

I'm sure Tapas has plenty. If only someone would answer the question she wouldn't have to keep asking!!

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needanappp · 14/04/2019 13:58

YANBU but I think some of the age limits suggested are a bit high. I had my ears done when I was 4 and I had pestered my mom for weeks! The other girls at school had them done and I felt left out! It didn't hurt at all but the sight of the gun scared me a bit. I was proud as punch when I had the studs in! I still remember them vividly! Silver stars. I wanted gold hearts but they had run out AngryGrin

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Raspberry88 · 14/04/2019 13:56

which you have no right to pass judgement over as it's not actually really harming them.

In fact we have every right. Every right. Just as you have every right to question practices that you deem to be harmful.
For me it's not just the pain. I think it's fundamentally harmful to perform a cosmetic procedure on a child because I believe it says to them:

  1. Their body is not their own
  2. Their purpose is decorative
  3. Painful practice must be endured in order to fit it...

I could go on. It's like insisting that girls wear skirts or should have long hair (my own experience) but doubly awful because it's painful.
Who are you to say that it's harmless when pp have shown that it isn't. That it's painful and causes the babies distress and that it impedes fun, rough and tumble, play and physical exercise.
I repeat...nothing and no one is above criticism.
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Jasmineallenestate · 14/04/2019 13:42

Yes, you are. It's awfully sad. Don't you have any other worries?

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TapasForTwo · 14/04/2019 13:33

"It IS a cultural practice"

But WHY Ribbonsonabox?
What is the reasoning?

I'm like a dog with a bone on this Grin

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TapasForTwo · 14/04/2019 13:31

"Face facts that in this country the main reason people dont like it is that its thought of as lower class and the main proponents of it culturally in this country are Traveller communities whom are widely despised and endure massive racism about the majority of their cultural practices"

I think you'll find that a good proportion of replies on this thread dislike the practice because it is inflicting unnecessary pain and infection risks in the baby with no discernible gain. I couldn't care less whether some people regard it as chavvy or whatever. My objection is that it is entirely unnecessary, that's all.

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Ribbonsonabox · 14/04/2019 13:28

I mean are you going to start a campaign about stopping the Kayan girls from wearing neck rings? Or stopping the Lahu tribe from stretching their ears? Both far more permanent alterations....
Probably you arent though because at the end of the day it IS cultural practice and an important part of their lives which you have no right to pass judgement over as it's not actually really harming them. It's just not what you would do or want. You have no right to say it shouldnt be cultural practice. It is not the same as circumcision at all as it does not affect the childs ability to function at all. It's not a protection issue its cultural arrogance. You dont get to decide what should mean something to a group and whether it's ridiculous or not. If it's against the law of that country then that is a different issue. But piercing a babies ears is not against the law in this country, it does not permanently alter the child or cause them lasting issues with thier ability to function. It IS a cultural practice. You dont have to do it if you disagree with it and by all means tell people your opinion that you dislike it if they ask... but trying to get it banned is ridiculous cultural snobbery.

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Ribbonsonabox · 14/04/2019 13:18

I disagree.
It's not something I'd personally choose for my child...
But I think if a toddler has asked for pierced ears then allowing that is not different to allowing a haircut.
Of course it hurts a little bit but if after you tell them it will hurt then they still want yo do it I dont see what the problem is? It's not a life altering thing. Earrings can be removed.
And as for babies, again it's not something I'd personally consider for my children but it IS a cultural thing and widely accepted as normal in places such as Spain etc I do think its snobbery and arrogance more than actual concern for children that fuels this debate.
Face facts that in this country the main reason people dont like it is that its thought of as lower class and the main proponents of it culturally in this country are Traveller communities whom are widely despised and endure massive racism about the majority of their cultural practices.

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TapasForTwo · 14/04/2019 13:10

SandyY2K can you explain why your children had their ears pierced as babies? Cultural tradition is not enough. Why is it cultural tradition?

DD used to sick up a lot of feeds as a baby and her ears would often be covered in sick. It would have been a nightmare if she had pierced ears.

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Jasmineallenestate · 14/04/2019 12:55

I think resources in the UK should be directed at preventing vulnerable parents from being accesed by organised groups, making sure children have basic food at home, holding absent parents responsible and not cutting the departments who have to trawl through the worst internet sites, seeing millions of images for one minor conviction. The fact is that you do not have the resources to do these thing, let alone create lenghty government processes, along with Police resources to enforce something that doesn't really mean a parent is abusive in the actual sense, nor negligent except for one thing. The social services are never going to remove a child for being circumcised by Jewish or Muslim parents or having their ears pierced by what is perceived by MNers by chavs. So let's campaign for the real abuse first and once that is resourced and prosecutable, go for the religious, cultural and class based parents who, believe me, are not abusers.

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Hoppinggreen · 14/04/2019 12:24

They could do it immediately after the birth at the same time as the heel prick because the earlier the better so they can “get over it”
Or we could pause in our pushing during giving birth so they could pop in those earring as as soon as the head emerges

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MumofTinies · 14/04/2019 12:20

Claire's accessories. I've seen the same. It's so wrong I had to intervene I was so upset

Well done for speaking up! Did the parents still go ahead?

I too think it should be banned, it baffles me why would anyone want to put their child in any pain for decorative reasons.

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Stinkycatbreath · 14/04/2019 12:11

Claire's accessories. I've seen the same. It's so wrong I had to intervene I was so upset.

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TrixieFranklin · 14/04/2019 12:07

It doesn't matter what the pain is or isn't the same as if the two things you are comparing are poles apart - putting a baby through pain for their own protection , well being and good with vaccinations is very different from putting them through "the same" pain for something completely unnecessary for vanity. I wouldn't opt for my children to go through the pain of vaccinations for the fun of it.

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KneelJustKneel · 14/04/2019 11:23

"It needed to be done."But thats exactly it - ear piercing doesn't need to be done. Its a parents vanity.

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