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To think there should be a minimum age limit on ear piercing
335

Forthepurposesofthetape · 11/04/2019 08:33

Was in a well known accessories shop yesterday and witnesses a mum getting her child's ears pierced. The child could have only have been about a year old and screamed the place down. She was so distressed. I really don't understand why it's necessary to do it at that age, it seems so unnecessarily cruel! Angry

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EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 14/04/2019 23:10

If I had had a daughter I would have waited until 5ish

I had mine done at 3 and yes I do remember

All my family the girls have their ears priced young for sown it’s cultural (Asian)

When I have said this before have often been patronised oh thats different what because of a different shade in skin colour

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pinkboa · 14/04/2019 22:51

I'm some places they get done before you leave the hospital

Thank god every where isn't Britain!

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Jasmineallenestate · 14/04/2019 22:12

It is very hard to explain to people on here about some cultural things. I do getwjere you are coming from, having lived in Bangladesh. I have some issues occasionally with the way culture is excused for inaccurate interpretations, for example, I have seen so many more Brits in the Middle East start dressing rheir newborns in the hijab, I don't think there is any need for this. Obvs none of my business apart from seeing colleagues proud baby pictures, but it seems unnecessary. Even with that, I don't get the angst others would report on the internet when there is so much one could do to protect vulnerable people on our doorsteps. Vulnerable people at huge risk of harm. Donate toys and clothes to womens refuges, support refugee families etc. Ear piercing and religious preferences are best left alone inless you are able to understand the difference.

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insideoutsider · 14/04/2019 22:12

Oh and about consent - please, good parents do all sorts of things to / with their children without consent. Wasn't there something about how we need consent from our babies before changing their nappies?

No, we as parents who love our children take decisions on their behalf based on what we think is best. Someone mentioned vaccination upthread. I know of an undergrad (in my workplace) who doesn't speak to her parents because they vaccinated her as a baby without her consent! Confused She intends to do a march and everything (which is why I can say it here)

About autonomy, the difference I see here is that in my culture, a person's body is not just theirs. It belongs to their family and their society. Children here have a much deeper sense of belonging. Things like self-harm and suicides are very low - one of the reasons because your body is not yours to take (currently doing a study on this).

I just asked my tomboy DD what she thinks about her earholes. She asked me what I meant. I clarified. She replied, 'why is this a thing?' Hmm

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insideoutsider · 14/04/2019 21:59

I always try to keep away from these ear piercing threads - never works!

Firstly, a lot of people in the UK believe THEIR way is THE way. Only the cultural practices THEY approve are the only acceptable ones. It isn't different from what happened hundreds of years ago when the 'heathens' and their abhorrent practices were banished.
I accept that you will never understand but I'll try to answer some questions asked.

@TapasForTwo - just because you have asked several times, Cultural practice - our cultural practice of ear piercing goes down to the very origins of the culture (much earlier than UK culture) so that now, it is just ingrained in us and there is no longer a need for a reason. It's like how people wear clothes in the summer in the UK. Why? Are you cold? Afraid of body parts? When did the practice begin? I've heard of reasons for ear piercings but there is no point going into it. Boys in my culture CANNOT have their ears pierced - it's a female thing. In fact, you can see boys / men in the air plane take off their earrings before landing at home.

This practice is so entrenched in our culture that the baby's ear is pierced before leaving hospital by trained nurses. If the child is ill, the senior doctor comes in to do it. It's part of med school training. I have NEVER seen or heard of a child getting an infection from an ear piercing at that age.

Having it pierced after 2yrs is just brutal to me. Now, that is real pain.
My DCs were only a few months and even that was too late for me. An ear piercing does no damage to a baby. If a female child was seen without an ear piercing, it would be considered that she had parents that were either very neglectful or mentally deficient. It just wouldn't happen.

Culturally, if your daughter's ear wasn't pierced, she would have to work really hard to be accepted in society. It is your role as a mother to ensure her life is as simple as possible.

An uncircumcised man almost doesn't exist in my home country except he was born and abandoned and never adopted. An uncircumcised man would almost never procreate in my culture. That's for another thread though.

For all the talk of acceptance and tolerance, it's always interesting seeing comments about other people's cultures being unacceptable. The rest of the world needs to change their cultures to the UK, do they? I don't intend to convince anyone but have in mind that your view is probably very narrow and represents a tiny portion of the global population.

*PS - No, I'm not uneducated. I've studied to the highest level possible and lived in several different countries.

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formerbabe · 14/04/2019 21:43

My dd got her ears pierced at 8. It was her idea. I've never liked young children getting their ears pierced and originally didn't want her to get them done, neither did her dad. However, she has some minor sn (nothing which affects her cognitive thinking by the way) and to be honest, having her ears pierced gives her some status amongst her peers and makes her feel like one of the cool ones, so thats why we allowed it.

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Pinkyyy · 14/04/2019 21:29

@Raspberry88 I'm showing myself up? You're being ridiculous if you think this is about 'winning an argument'. I'm purely saying that it's really not a big issue at all for someone to remove their earrings and forget they were ever pierced.

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purplepandas · 14/04/2019 21:26

We have just done this. Youngest is 7 and expressed no interest until DD aged 9 wanted it done. I was less keen but very clear about what was involved etc. Consent is key. We did go to a reputable place where they did both ears at once and talked them through the process beautifully. I was very happy with how it was managed. They actually said they would refuse to pierce (and have done) if parents were keen and children were not. That was reassuring to me about quality and approach to piercing.

I can't fathom piercing a child's ears who could not consent. It's beyond me. Personally, 7 felt a bit young to me but DD understood completely and consented so I felt her choice with that. She was the one who was keen, me far less so!

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Raspberry88 · 14/04/2019 21:19

Bit of a pointless thing to have years of hate over.

God, you're really showing yourself up here. Full of empathy aren't you. Well done for completely losing the argument.

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Pinkyyy · 14/04/2019 21:14

@TrixieFranklin So don't wear any earrings, problem solved. They'll either close up or even if they don't, they're so small you literally won't know they're there. Bit of a pointless thing to have years of hate over.

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TrixieFranklin · 14/04/2019 20:55

@Pinkyyy I never said I did, I said I have unnecessary holes.

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TapasForTwo · 14/04/2019 20:34

I got my ears pierced at 48.

Do I win? Grin

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TwistinMyMelon · 14/04/2019 20:16

The same parents who take the kids to have holes put in their ears are often the same ones who have massively attention seeking attacks of the vapours when their kids have to get their jabs...🤔

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JacquesHammer · 14/04/2019 20:15

you may notice I have ignored you, as I do on every other thread

You’ve ignored me by replying. Arf Grin

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Pinkyyy · 14/04/2019 20:14

@JacquesHammer you may notice I have ignored you, as I do on every other thread.

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SirVixofVixHall · 14/04/2019 20:12

My Mum said 16, and I have said the same to my dds.

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JacquesHammer · 14/04/2019 20:10

The irony of someone who punches holes in their baby for tenuous cultural reasons telling someone else to get over themselves Grin

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Pinkyyy · 14/04/2019 20:06

Oh get over yourself @TrixieFranklin you haven't got huge gaping holes in your body.

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TrixieFranklin · 14/04/2019 19:57

@gigi556 I had mine done as a child and have resented having unnecessary holes in my ears since I can remember. I hate jewellery and piercings but the choice was taken away from me because I wasn't old enough to object verbally. I hate that my parents thought I needed holes punched into my ears to make me look cute or because everyone else was doing it.

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Biancadelrioisback · 14/04/2019 19:26

Gigi but just because you don't know any women without ear piercings, or those who wish they hadn't had them done as children, doesn't mean that they don't exist. Many women don't buy into decorating their body for no reason. I will admit I want to look good, and part of that to me is my piercings. But would you judge me if I pierced my baby's nose for example? And if I used to excuse that all my female friends have theirs done and like it, plus it'll heal faster and baby won't mess with it?

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Raspberry88 · 14/04/2019 19:03

This is just ridiculous to be honest. You've got people saying 5 year olds can choose their gender but they can't decide if they want their ears pierced?

😂. I think you've mistaken your audience. I don't think 5 year olds are old enough to consent to having their ears pierced or 'choose' their gender!!

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Pinkyyy · 14/04/2019 18:50

This is just ridiculous to be honest. You've got people saying 5 year olds can choose their gender but they can't decide if they want their ears pierced?

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Grundtal · 14/04/2019 18:42

I'd ban guns. Children old enough to freely give consent only and no guns.

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Grundtal · 14/04/2019 18:41

Personally I'd like to see a limit of at least 12. I think earrings and primary school are a terrible idea without even getting into the consent issue. Once you hit high school you are at least old enough to manage them yourself.

I had mine done at 12 with a gun. Biggest mistake ever. They got hugely infected despite me being OTT about hygiene and I can still feel weird lumps in my ears from the trauma, 30 years later. I've not worn earrings since about a year after I had them done. It physically hurt to wear them as the inside of my ears is so screwed up.

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Gth1234 · 14/04/2019 18:12

I thought there was. Maybe it's a limit for tattoos.

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