Babies First Birthday

[Feb2018mumma]

Since a previous post where the consensus was that my babies first birthday should be for family and grandparents rather than the babies we know I wanted some more input.

In both baby groups I go to they are planning on having parties for the babies, overpriced soft play and baby rooms. One woman went as far to say I shouldn't have a party at all if it isn't focused fully on the baby.

I slightly get her point because it is his birthday, but he is one!

I thought we could go revolution with our 20 close family members, have some nice food and drinks so they can celebrate his birthday with us. I have been there a few times with baby and he crawls around, the staff love him, planning to rent the restaurant area so he can waddle about happily, he will be one of three babies with 20 of his favourite adults, balloons, he gets food which he loves, cuddles from family and new toys. This will cost about £180?

What do you think? Yes he would prefer a sensory room but then I am paying £15 a person, minimum of 10 babies a party, for babies I see once a week and that my baby wouldn't recognise in a crowd? Then I would probably have to have a family party anyway becuase they would want to celebrate with him.

I will have been back at work 2 months so the £180 is okay with me but husband says we could go away with that money and do something the baby would like more e.g. Legoland or sealife. But once again all family would still want to celebrate at one point?

What is everyone's opinion, is the first birthday for family or mum and dad or the baby? If I'm wrong I don't mind as Legoland would be more fun that paying for our families food!

[HopeGarden]

There’s not a right or wrong answer here - the only thing to remember is that the baby won’t really care whether they get a party or not. And equally, I’d be doubtful about how much a baby that age would get out of something like Legoland.

So personally I’d go more with what you and DH want - a family get together or something that’s just you, DH & baby.

[TittyBoneGhoul]

The baby is one. He will neither notice nor care. Put the money in a savings account and don’t try to keep up with the Jones’

[Oysterbabe]

Just do whatever will make you happiest, the baby doesn't care. We just had some family and friends round the house for a cup of tea and slice of birthday cake.

[Jackshouse]

I wonder if 1st birthday are getting bigger because fewer people are having Christenings.

Do whatever you want and have the budget for. Dinner out with family, afternoon tea party at home or at grandparent’s or day out with Mum and Dad or just nothing. You don’t need to make other people happy in life. It’s time for you to find your ‘inner tiger Mummy’ and do what is best for you and your family.

[KeysHairbandNotepad]

Legoland will be expensive ,as will a meal out. Ultimately though ,it's up to you.

Personality I'd just invite close family to the house and make up a cheap buffet. Put the money you would've spent in a savings account for your baby.

[Ceecee18]

It's up to you, whether you would rather celebrate with family or people from baby groups. £180 just to rent a place to eat for a first birthday is a lot of money though! I'd go with your husbands idea.

I honestly don't get the idea of having a big birthday party for a 1 year old. They have no clue what's going on, and the one I went to, the kid was so overwhelmed by it all he clung to his mom the whole time. We were on holiday when DD turned one, so we took her to the farm and then had a BBQ (August birthday) for our immediate family (our parents and siblings) when we got home. I would do a day out as your husband suggests and then maybe a little tea party at home with your family.

[Babykoala1]

For my DD's first birthday we just had family and friends round with a few of their children. I decorated the place (for photo purposes, DD would not have given a shit either way). We had a few party games for the older kids but DD just sat and played with wrapping paper. She enjoyed it as much as she would enjoy anything else at 1.
It was nice and relaxed, an opportunity to get together with everyone and have a glass of champagne.

I used to work as a party host in a soft play centre and used to find it baffling that parents would pay hundreds of pounds for a bunch of 1 year olds to sit there looking confused.

[EssentialHummus]

What they all said^. Fwiw I planned a biggish party in the garden for DD, but illness scuppered it. We ended up having chocolate cake in the park a week later with a few of the other mums and babies and it was perfect - so much more enjoyable and less stress-inducing than what I’d planned.

[Feb2018mumma]

I think the issue is that we would fit max 6 on seats in our house and that isn't even us and grandparents... We have 7 grandparents then 8 brothers and sisters between us! The £180 is food as well,definitely wouldn't pay that to rent a room!! I would love to be able to have a buffet at home but just wouldn't fit :( my ideal would be no one but us 3 BUT then would end up meeting up with all grandparents and siblings separately to celebrate would take up the whole month of weekends if not longer! We have a family full of 'extra parents' who all want to be there for everything all the time (incase anyone thinks I think they care about the birthday more than they do)

[KC225]

I went to a few and it really was group of adults with babies and a kind of reminiscing in a jokey way on the past year. Ohh this time last year, ohhh remember the year before that and we fly to moon for wall inclusive luxury weekend, tequila on a drip type of chat.

Best ones were drip in afternoons at houses, from two till five cake at four. Good one was picinic in the park, everyone asked to bring their own blanket.

15 quid per person sounds exy. Legoland with babies would be a nightmare, remember most of them are napping mid day. Keep it low key. First babies birthdays are more about adults

[ChodeofChodeHall]

Could any of the grandparents host a little tea party at their house?

[PotteringAlong]

would end up meeting up with all grandparents and siblings separately to celebrate would take up the whole month

Are you sure you’re not overestimating the interest people will have in your child’s first birthday?

[jellycat1]

Don't bother. Get a nice picture of him next to a cake and frame it. Save the cash for when they start asking for themed parties and expensive presents!

[Santaispolishinghissleigh]

Imo first birthdays should have the dm in mind. After all you did the labour. Dc just appeared!

[NerrSnerr]

We didn't do anything much for my eldest daughter's 1st birthday. I think we went to the zoo- just the three of us.

For my youngest we had a party at our house for local friends and their children. We don't have much extended family who are interested so it was nice to have a celebration.

Do what you want to do. I'd be surprised if all family members want to celebrate all month though- first birthday isn't a massive deal to everyone.

[reluctantbrit]

I think it depends what your family normally does. I never celebrated with more than just parents and sister plus parties with friends later. I would get presents but more when we saw relatives before or afterwards. The only time i remember a bigger family party was when I turned 18.

So when DD was 1 I didn’t even think about a huge party, we just went out for the afternoon, DD had cake and slept.

We went to a few big “1. Birthday “ parties and it ended more than once in tears as the parties were at the wrong times and the babies were overtired and overstimulated.

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

For me the first birthday is not for the baby. It's a chance to get together with family and a few close friends in a small setting at home. The baby won't care or remember that day. Don't feel pressured OP.

[MaryShelley1818]

We are having 3 days to celebrate DS 1st Birthday next month which quite frankly sounds ridiculous!! Lol!

His actual Birthday is a Friday and we’re both off work as it’s the week following our Wedding so we’re going to collect him from nursery and then go for lunch and then on the bus to see Fenwicks Christmas Window and to collect his Build a Bear Birthday Bear - we’d be going to see the window and have lunch anyway!
Saturday we’re having a family buffet as we have Grandparents, Aunties and Great Grandparents who all absolutely dote on him and expect to come and visit for his Birthday! It’ll be a cheap table of Iceland Party Food.

Sunday we’re taking him and 8 of his baby ‘friends’ to the Sensory Room at the local Leisure Centre with cake and a few nibbles afterwards. It’s cost £50 to hire the 2 rooms for 2hrs but it’s somewhere he loves going and it’s nice to treat our friends for the weekend.
He won’t know it’s his Birthday but really should enjoy all 3 days :)

[Feb2018mumma]

PotteringAlong you copy and pasted part of my message and apparently didn't read the full message that said We have a family full of 'extra parents' who all want to be there for everything all the time (incase anyone thinks I think they care about the birthday more than they do) becuase of divorce we have 4 sets of grandparents who would all expect to be seen to see baby for his birthday which without siblings would take up at least 4 days, then the 4 siblings without children are really excited and although they can be paired into mine and partners that's still another 2 days. Then sibling with a child I assume would want to see the baby around his birthday? That's the only one of them that hasn't expressed interest in what we are doing yet but I am seeing my neice for her birthday and am super excited so I assume it's the same? So a party would mean we saw them all at once whereas separately it adds up to 7 days and as partner is only off on weekends and I work Saturday is basically the full month of our weekends. I didn't mean we would see everyone all month I meant if we didn't see everyone at once it would take us all month to do the rounds! My house can't fit many other wise that would be the obvious choice. Build a Bear is a good idea and I read on birthdays you pay the price of the bear!!

[Chocolatecoffeeaddict]

To be honest, it sounds like the party is more for you than the baby. A baby wouldn't really get anything from that, it sounds like a waste of money.

[Di11y]

does anyone else have a bigger house? tbh dd2 was born in August, we celebrated with grandparents near but not on birthday and other relatives were quite happy not to celebrate.

[Aworldofmyown]

If you would all enjoy it then it sounds nice.

[AllTakenSoRubbishUsername]

We did go a bit mad with our first baby's first birthday - booked a hall, caterers etc and invited all the NCT mummies and various baby group activity friends. But in retrospect a small gathering with just family would have been nicer, and the baby certainly doesn't remember it!

[April2020mom]

I didn’t do much for my son and daughter’s first birthday. We had a small party in a hall. I invited fifteen friends and family members. There was cake and a chance to have your photo taken with the birthday boy and girl. We also played two or three games. To reduce costs I designed the invitations and baked the cake with some help from my partner. It was lovely.

[Beamur]

We had a little party at home, I don't think we had any other babies there at all! Just a few adult friends and family we wanted to thank for their help and support really. Baby was clueless and happier when they all went home. Didn't spend much, just a few snacks and drinks.