To think BF is a CF?

[pipadoodledoo]

My BF stays at my house and if he has nothing on the next day will stay at my house because it's much nicer and quieter than his flat. I had a particularly high gas and electric bill last month and when he was alone there yesterday texted him to not have the heating on all day as i'm struggling with the bills. He messaged me back to say he had hammered the heating all day as he was cold but offered to give me some money for it. If I hadn't mentioned it, I don't think he would've offered. AIBU to think he's an absolute CF? We have only been together a matter of months. No kids on either side (not sure if that matters!).

[trojanpony]

Just get him to give you £50 a month...

It’s not CF behaviour if he wasn’t aware it was an issue.

[Popc0rn]

Did you invite him to stay round while you are out, or did he invite himself?

What does he do all day when he does stay?

Lounging around in his pants doing nothing, eating your food, making a mess, with the heating on full whack = CF.

Or, does he tidy up after himself, get some food in and cook a nice dinner for you? = not a CF.

Obviously you think he's a CF, so there's more to it just than heating.

[cheesefield]

I don't think I'd want a new BF of only a few months in my house all day while I was out.

[JeanPagett]

I think he was at worst a bit thoughtless rather than CF. Not sure what more he could have done than offer to pay - he was completely honest at least. If you aren't happy with him staying at yours when you're out then you need to have a conversation with him about that.

[Skarlet2018]

I wouldn't have a new boyfriend lounging round my house all day when I'm not there. Does he not have a job or anything else to do all day?

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

WTF? So, OP is finding it hard to cover the increased bills and you want her to play nice for the 'poor lad' - talk about infantilising. He's a grown man!

At least he had the common sense to realise he had been thoughtless and that OP was probably embarrassed to have to admit she was finding it hard to pay her bills!

[CottonTailRabbit]

Are you more generally unhappy or suspicious about him moving in by stealth?

[Powerless]

Wow! Poor lad.... You begrudge him a bit of heating?!
I'd let him off this time and just ask him to be more considerate in future if he stays again. He's not a lodger he's someone you're in an actual relationship with...so presumably love/like a lot?! 

[Prettyvase]

Be nice: show him your normal bills and the unusually high ones and ask him to pay the difference plus extra for the current month.

You are early days into your relationship so whatever you say goes

[LifesABeachCoaster]

He is not being unreasonable

[WhyAmISoCold]

You are looking for a problem where there isn't one. This is not CF at all fgs.

Man uses heating, woman says about bill, man offers to pay. Hardly a story is it.

Sounds like you are looking for an excuse with him.

[InfiniteVariety]

I would wonder why he didn't put more clothes on rather than turning the heating up so high (I'm assuming that's what "hammering the heating" means) which is what I would do in someone else's house

[Piffle11]

I mean off of you thinking that way, not of him not offering, IYSWIM.

[Piffle11]

I think the fact that he actually told you he'd hammered the heating is a good sign: if he'd said he'd hardly had it on and then you got a massive bill then he would have been a sly CF. But he's been honest and offered to pay - surely that's a good thing? I reckon the bit about not offering if you hadn't mentioned it is a bit off: it wouldn't have entered my head to offer to pay towards the heating for a day if the homeowner hadn't told me how high their bill was. So no, I don't think he's a CF.

[JakeBallardswife]

Take the money, he doesn't seem a CF just normal. What's nice about sitting in a cold house?

[dontalltalkatonce]

So take the money.

[HellenaHandbasket]

It wouldn't even have crossed my mind tbh if I were him, so it doesn't make him a cheeky fucker. Take him up on his offer though if it helps.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

I don't think he even gave it a thought - and he has offered to pay.

I would accept his money, explain that if he "hammers" the heating again he will have to contribute to the costs on a regular basis, and buy him a jumper for Christmas.

[RedSkyLastNight]

He's offered to pay for it, so not a CF. He probably didn't offer up front because he simply hadn't thought through how much the extra heating would raise your bills.

I think it's fine for you to have a conversation about if he's staying x days a month he needs to contribute y towards the bills. Sounds like he'd be perfectly amenable to that.

[HollowTalk]

He actually said he'd hammered the heating? I wouldn't want him there if I wasn't there.

[bringincrazyback]

He's offered to pay for it. Take him up on that and I can't see how there's any harm done. It'd be different if he'd had the heating on in secret and not told you/not offered to pay.

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

Take him up on his offer. You've explained why, he's probably mortified he hadn't thought of it himself.

If he even begins to bluster over actually paying then yes, he is a CF!

[Holdingonbarely]

Seems perfectly reasonable.

[Maelstrop]

If he’s staying when you’re not there and thereby increasing bills, then he needs to contribute regularly. Are you happy for a bf of a few months to be staying at yours?

[ErickBroch]

He's offered the money, as long as he happily hands it over with no snide remarks I think he seems pretty genuine. He probably was being a bit thick and just hadn't thought about it.

However, if he is a bit shit about it all then yes - CF!