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AIBU?

To find this comment unnecessary

107 replies

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 18/10/2018 12:03

Took my DD 14 months to a free music class trial on Monday, the class is aimed at 1-2 years old, so young toddlers. My LO loves music and is very active so I thought I’d give it a go. In the class all the kids pretty much sat and banged instruments while the teacher sang at them. My DD didn’t really do this and instead walked round the room clapping and trying to grab the bubbles in the air (there were bubbles) but with a huge smile on her face. Anyway at the end of the class I kind of confirmed it’s not really for her. The franchise just called me to follow up and I explained that it was a good class but probably not for us, to which she said “yes I have a note from the teacher, your little one was nice but very busy”
Well I actually didn’t ask for feedback on my child, and as for “busy” she’s a bloody toddler who is excitable. I feel it’s this kind of judgement that makes mothers worry about attending groups whether we have a grumpy, crying or “busy” baby. Wish I had told her to stuff her class.

OP posts:

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bluegreygreen · 18/10/2018 20:54

@BambooPlate

Interesting - I also assumed the note from the teacher was her justifying to the company why she hadn't been able to sign this customer up. I was surprised that yours was the first comment to suggest this!

greenlynx · 18/10/2018 20:13

I agree that it was unnecessary comment, and unprofessional one as well, unless she wanted to be absolutely sure that you would never come back to this class. ( because who would? They certainly know nothing about children)
By the way, your LO sounds fab!

Silvercatowner · 18/10/2018 17:36

Being busy isn’t an insult

It's the but that makes it just a bit off.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 18/10/2018 17:21

At least she didn't say she was spirited OP

You're probably being a bit touchy as the woman wasn't being untruthful but I guess she didn't need to say that to you as you won't be going back!

puzzledlady · 18/10/2018 17:18

same as us - we went for monkey music or something like that (well my nanny went) and when i was called with a follow up this is what was said. Dont worry about it OP.

BambooPlate · 18/10/2018 16:39

OP i read it that the teacher had to justify why you are not signing up, maybe she feels there is pressure from the franchise to sign people up after the free trial session and she is worried people not signing up as she is not meeting her target iyswim?

ButchyRestingFace · 18/10/2018 16:25

I'm obviously completely oblivious to subtext. I probably would have taken "busy" as a compliment!

themuttsnutts · 18/10/2018 16:25

I think we all know what 'lively, active, busy, into everything' mean - as euphemisms go, they are not exactly subtle. I had 2 like that and have heard it all.

And, yes, even at a music class and I was the same as you. I got uncomfortable and stopped going.

Yanbu. It WAS an unnecessary comment to give to potential customer or, even if you weren't to go back, you still may have recommended it to friends with similar aged children. I doubt you would now.

I also think businesses need to.be more careful because social media makes it v easy for us to publicise what we think

twattymctwatterson · 18/10/2018 16:10

Honestly I wouldn't even think twice about a comment like that never mind being annoyed enough to start a thread on it. My 5 year old is still and always has been the definition of "busy". If you're going to let conversational passing comments get to you, you'll probably spend the first ten years of her life upset

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 18/10/2018 15:59

LaurieMarlow agreed
Think there is a lot of soft play in our future ...me and my busy child!

OP posts:

LaurieMarlow · 18/10/2018 15:57

OP I don't think it really matters what anyone says on here. You've ended up mildly annoyed with them, not interested in returning to the classes and sharing your opinions with other mums.

That's a fail for them, no matter how you look at it.

KurriKurri · 18/10/2018 15:56

And your OP didn't say it was a taster session

OP a free music class trial - first sentence of OP - that's a taster session pretty obviously

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 18/10/2018 15:54

You do know that money being tight isn't a crime or a character flaw

OP posts:

Antigon · 18/10/2018 15:53

Just re-read the op, you said trial session. My comment still stands, 1 session isn't always a good indication of whether you want to stick with something. However if your DD didn't enjoy it all, no point in spending money on it.

LaurieMarlow · 18/10/2018 15:53

Do you only speak when "necessary"

No but you seem to be missing the point that it's their job to attract customers and keep them happy. Not risk pissing them off with an ambiguous (at best) comment about their behaviour.

I'm (sort of) willing to believe that the person in question is really socially awkward (rather than chippy and defensive) and was attempting to do benign chit chat. In that case she should get more training.

Antigon · 18/10/2018 15:50

You do know that money being tight isn't a crime or a character flaw? We all have times when money is right.

Suggesting that you stopped the sessions too soon but then acknowledging that it's reasonable to do so if (IF) money is right, is not bitchy.

And your OP didn't say it was a taster session.

You are way too over sensitive.

I stand by my first, you're precious and unreasonable.

BarbarianMum · 18/10/2018 15:47

Do you only speak when "necessary"? Sometimes people do this thing called chatting which is a way of forming a transient social bond.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 18/10/2018 15:45

Antigon money wasn’t mentioned so it was a bitchy comment.

OP posts:

LaurieMarlow · 18/10/2018 15:44

What I was trying to say was that OP gave up on the music group too soon, after just 1 session.

I presume it was a taster session, in which case she only had 1 session to make up her mind before paying a terms worth of fees.

LaurieMarlow · 18/10/2018 15:43

So why be all offended at someone passing comment on the fact?

The OP didn't say she was offended, she said she found the comment unnecessary.

Which it absolutely was.

RoboticSealpup · 18/10/2018 15:42

She didn't say money was tight! Where did you get that from?

Antigon · 18/10/2018 15:39

That dig about "money being tight" was hilariously bitchy!

Think that was me, I wasn't being bitchy! What I was trying to say was that OP gave up on the music group too soon, after just 1 session.

However, if money is tight, then it makes sense to not pay for more music group sessions if OP knows her DD is not enjoying them and just get a bottle of bubbles as that's what her DD enjoyed at the session!

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BarbarianMum · 18/10/2018 15:39

RoboticSealpup · 18/10/2018 15:32

That dig about "money being tight" was hilariously bitchy!

formerbabe · 18/10/2018 15:14

Well I suppose some may call her behaviour 'busy'...others would say 'first on the dance floor!'

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