DD2 is 15 months. She and her older sister (4) are absolutely chalk and cheese. Always have been.
DD1 is a gentle soul who dotes upon her little sister. As a toddler DD1 was always quite placid. She didn’t walk till she was about 17 months and even then she would just toddle around near me. She never ran away. She didn’t really do daft or destructive things even back then. She would play with her toys for hours at a time. She was so easy.
DD2, on the other hand. Oh my god have my eyes been opened. She is non stop. On the go from the moment she opens her eyes till the moment she goes to bed (usually kicking and screaming). She hates sleep. Does not nap any more (although will doze in the car as long as it is moving). She’s in at everything. Destroys things. Demanding. Stroppy. That stuff I think is quite normal.
What I’m worried about is that she has suddenly become quite angry and aggressive with DD1. Example - today DD1 was playing with her My Little Pony dolls. DD2 grabs one from her, out of her hands. DD1says “I was playing with that one” and hands her a different one (which I taught her to do and it often works). DD2 screamed in her face and grabbed her arm, digging her nails right in. This is a common example. She does this quite a lot and I separate them and I tell her “No!” In a sharp voice but really, at 15 months what else can I do?!
They both go to the same nursery three days a week. It is excellent and they both seem to love it. Go in happily, look happy when we collect them etc. Nursery have not reported any instances of this behaviour there.
I mean I know siblings will fight but I’m just a bit concerned about the anger here. I don’t really know how to handle it.
AIBU?
To be a bit concerned about my one year old?
ExcusesHalfTruthsFortifiedWine · 15/10/2018 20:16
Oh God yes the exact same here with the toilet! As well as slamming the lid on me she will try and put whatever she can get her hands on down the toilet while I'm sitting on it and then we have bottles of shampoo etc being flung around if I've forgotten to put them away 
.
DD2 was also a much stronger personality than her big sister, in fact over the years I would have to step up and make sure DD2 wasn’t bullying her sweet natured sister! When they were the same age as yours DD2 would BITE her big sister to try and get her way, usually on her back! Nightmare, 4 yr old DD1 would come running to me in tears, I would have to watch them like a hawk.
DD2 is also very quick witted and funny, I don’t know where it comes from but she can think very quickly on her feet and is really charming. I have worked with her over the years to prevent her using her talents for evil but she just has a very dominant personality and can get people to do what she wants through humour and charm.I am so grateful she came second so has not been able to dominate her sister (although she has tried). They are teens now and DD2 suddenly grew at 13 and now is 5’9” to her big sisters 5’4”!
My eldest has also become a leader and just was picked to lead a retreat, she was chosen from 80 girls, so your quieter, calmer one can still shine even with a sister with a big personality.
OP I think this is all normal, is just sounds like she is very frustrated. I would try to teach her more sign language so she can communicate with you. DD2 was also really boisterous literally bouncing off the walls when she was little. Much more so than my son who was born after. She is definitely the most high energy of my three. Now she is a rower and trains for 2 hours a day. Can you take the girls to gymnastics where they have inground trampolines? Physically wearing out number two has always worked.
I think as she gets older and is able to verbalize what she is thinking and what she wants her anger will calm down. But DD2 is also the one out of my three that has had to manage her anger more than her siblings. I think she just is more intense. We just have to learn new methods to parent this personality type.
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Mine have pushed each other from bunk beds, rode over each other in electric cars and forcefully hit each other with toys hundreds of times. I think the only way to get through it is tho let them figure out the hierarchy themselves
Oh Pivott that’s a whole extra layer of stress right there. That must be horrible for you. But yeah again sounds very similar.
The toilet thing though. I have to take her with me (she would seriously injure herself if unsupervised for one moment - I am quite sure of this) and she will close the lid repeatedly while I’m sitting on the toilet. It’s higjly annoying
I also have to sniff her feet during nappy change. She often cries so hard that she almost passes out. I suspect she has Reflex Anoxic Syndrome as she goes floppy, can't get a breath and her eyes roll back (I can only snap her out this by blowing in her face) but doctor and paediatrician think shes just holding her breath for attention (even thought the first time this happened she was 6 months old
). I'm really worried about how worse these episodes are going to get the older she gets and starts throwing bigger tantrums.
Sounds similar to mine. I have a 6 year old and a 17 month old. DD1 at that age was never as demanding as DD2 (who basically sits on my head all day). She has recently started pulling DD1 hair. She gets frustrated very quickly and doesn't really bother with toys. She doesn't talk other than hiya, hello, no, ta and tata so it is difficult to work out why she is frustrated at times. I'm on my own this time round so she is very clingy with me I can't leave the room for the toilet. I'm lucky that DD1 has a lot of patience for her. They adore each other and make each other laugh loads but I definitely have my hands full with the toddler stage a lot more than I did with DD1.
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