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AIBU?

To think unless you broadcast it on Facebook, people are rubbish at remembering birthdays these days

8 replies

Sandinmypants · 29/09/2018 14:42

I am on Facebook but have removed all my personal info from it, including my birthday. It was my birthday this week and all my friends forgot. I’m not talking about presents and cards (I don’t expect those at my age) but not even a ‘Happy Birthday’ text. These are people I have known since school. I manage to remember their birthdays every year.
It’s my son’s 2nd birthday today. Again, no ‘happy birthday’ from any of them. Several of them have children who were born within 6 weeks of mine. I’ve remembered all of their childrens’ birthdays and given/sent presents.
AIBU to think people are rubbish at remembering these days. Facebook etc has removed the ability of a lot of people to think for themselves. I guess I am feeling a bit peeved and hurt about it all, despite trying my best not to care.

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Sandinmypants · 29/09/2018 15:22

waffly yes, I do remember their birthdays. These are my close group of friends, we were in school together and are now mid thirties. I have a calendar and have all their birthdays and their childrens’ birthdays on it. The adults in our group I just text to say Happy Birthday I’m the day. As a group, we have agreed we will just buy a present for the kids as all our families are expanding. But yes, these people who I considered to be my closest friends, I do remember their birthdays. I feel a bit of a mug to be honest.

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wafflyversatile · 29/09/2018 15:07

Do you actually remember everyone's birthdays or do you have a note of them somewhere?

I don't buy a card or present for non family birthdays unless there is a birthday event or it's a best long term friend who has mentioned it is imminent.

I don't expect more than an fb happy birthday from anyone unless I have invited them to celebrate it with me.

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jarhead123 · 29/09/2018 15:00

@DollyWilde our Mums sound very alike lol. My Mum is also fond of a greeting card for any occasion ;)

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DollyWilde · 29/09/2018 14:54

(All the above said my friends agree I am anal/type A/batshit so very aware it’s not the norm!

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DollyWilde · 29/09/2018 14:53

I am a complete geek about this and have a birthdays book which I check every couple of weeks so I can get all my cards in the weekly shop. My mum is singlehandedly responsible for keeping card shops running so I’m just following in her footsteps! Our friends are having babies now and I particularly like putting new babies in the birthday book, including the year so I buy correct age cards Smile I’ve always enjoyed doing that sort of thing but I think now people are becoming parents it’s doubly important for me now.

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Aragog · 29/09/2018 14:49

I do't know all of my friend's birthdays. i know some of my closest friend's dates and will definitely say happy birthday and/or send a card. Even then I have them on my calendar with a reminder set., else I am likely to forget.

But for other friends, including work friends, I just don't know them. I like it when FB reminds me. Some friends I don't actually know their child very well, so wouldn't really know to say happy birthday. Close friends we see a lot - I know and remember their birthdates, with the aid of a calendar reminder on my phone.

I think its also that people are often so much busier these days, and have a wider group of friends, especially when you take Social Media friends into account. The amount of things we have to remember on a weekly basis is massive, when you sit and actually think about it.

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HirplesWithHaggis · 29/09/2018 14:49

I spent years feeling slightly miffed at the lack of posts on my birthday, even my 50th. I got messages from my family and from people who had seen those, but nothing else.

Then FB asked if I would like to update my profile, including my dob... Blush

But I rely on FB to remind me too, so I can't complain.

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Sandinmypants · 29/09/2018 14:43

I should add that all our family have remembered and been wonderful, and that’s the main thing I guess.

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