...to not hand over pocket money to my dd's to buy MORE sweets?

[emsiewill]

The dd's are having a "sleepover" tonight (as dd1's friends couldn't make it).

I have agreed that they can have a Twix and a bag of Haribo (yuk) sweets (have already bought them) for their midnight feast. That is to share - not one each.

I don't like them eating too many sweets and chocolates, the rule is supposed to be one item a week, although the reality is quite far from that.

For example, this week they had a bar of choc on Friday night, a bar of choc last night, and a bag of crisps with lunch today (don't normally have crisps in the house). So in reality they actually have more than I would like.

Dd1 (who is sitting here with me awaiting your replies) thinks I should give her and dd2 £2 each of their pocket money to go and spend on more sweets "because it's our money". I think what they already have is enough.

Bear in mind that this is 1/2 term week, and therefore they are likely to end up having more "treats" during the week, especially as their cousins are coming to stay.

So would you give them the money? Their argument is it's their money, they should choose, my argument is that they should save their money, and not waste it when they already have some food for their midnight feast...

[helenhismadwife]

have all the haribo gone I love haribo

not sure what I would have done my dd's are only young and dont have that many sweets they still have eggs etc my mum and il's got them for easter.

[WelshBoris]

I'm glad you crumbled I love Haribo

[jandeb]

yes but there is no shop they can go to without an adult so the like to save and buy something good.

[paulaplumpbottom]

If they earn it then isn't it their money?

[jandeb]

At the moment mostly garden work, sometimes heavy work. they get wages which mostly goes in the bank.

[paulaplumpbottom]

What do they do to earn the money?

[jandeb]

I have stopped buying sweets and crisps and now only buy homebaking things, the kids need to bake it before they enjoy the taste.
I am so cruel.

[agnesnitt]

As a useless and well past time aside, I'd have refused. I am evil mum

Agnes

[Oblomov]

Hoorah. A result. Happiness alround

[emsiewill]

[myalias]

Result - enjoy your sleepover.

[foxinsocks]

aaaaaaaaaaaah

enjoy your sleepover!

[YANBU]

Hurrah! Good for you and your mum. Have a great feast.

[emsiewill]

Dd1 here

mum's changed her mind and is giving us both
£1 (thanks for sticking up for me)

Speccy- how old is your Ds?

[edam]

Sleepover is a special treat so I'd let them spend their money on sweets, it isn't going to happen every night.

[foxinsocks]

mine spend their pocket money on whatever they want (but get less money than yours)

strangely enough, they don't spend it all on sweets though I wouldn't say anything if they did

You say they feel really hard done by (sweets wise) - I just wonder if this is fuelling their desire to spend all their money this way?

[unknownrebelbang]

No, you're not being unreasonable. I think what they've got is ample for the night.

Mine have pocket money, on the proviso that they don't spend it on sweets. (except tuck-money on camp).

[WK007]

Agree with the idea of giving part of the pocket money (so amount of sweets they can buy is limited) and keeping part back to sub them with later when they need it.

[emsiewill]

To all of you that are saying let them spend the money on whatever they want, as it's their money, they need to learn etc etc.

Where would you stop? Would you let them spend all their pocket money on sweets if they wanted? How do you decide? And if you do draw a line somewhere, then you aren't being consistent...

FIS - it's a £1.15 Haribo packet - not that small.

[duchesse]

You are not at all unreasonable!!! I stopped giving pocket money when I realised that not only was I subsidising their habit, but also having to pay later for expensive fillings (in my son's case). In the end, I told them they could have pocket money again, as long as they also paid for their own fillings. Strangely, at £20 a pop, they haven't complained at all about no longer getting pocket money... Problem solved.

Nowadays, if they receive any money (from grandparents etc..), I insist they put it straight into their savings.

[foxinsocks]

do you mean those teeny tiny haribo packets?

honestly, there's hardly anything in those packets

[YANBU]

Is the rule that they can spend their money on what they want? If so the rule should stand and they should buy all the sweets they want. Imo. And I'm with dogsby- haribo is rather yummy. If I was having a midnight feast i would get in some tangfastics and strawbs and also some chocolate. I would also recommend some gorgonzola on rye bread too if their pocket money will stretch that far.