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AIBU?

AIBU to avoid church because of DH’s flatulence 🤢

171 replies

itseasybeingcheesy · 17/06/2018 10:16

DH has a rotten stomach at the mo from overeating at the pub yesterday and the house smells awful as a result. He think I’m being OTT by saying we shouldn’t go to church and inflict that on others.

I know this is disgusting but please back me up? I’m not BU am I?

OP posts:
steff13 · 17/06/2018 10:19

You should go and make him stay home. Do the services have candles? If so, he might create a fire hazard if he goes. The whole place could blow.

TwoGinScentedTears · 17/06/2018 10:19

Would he fart in church?

182yellowsnails · 17/06/2018 10:19

😂

DrDoMore · 17/06/2018 10:20

Would he actually fart in public?! My DH can stink out the house on a bad day but he wouldn’t go and fart in public!

Itchytights · 17/06/2018 10:20

GrinGrin

Candlelight123 · 17/06/2018 10:20

Why would he fart in church?? Will he not hold it in like everyone else does?

DelphiniumBlue · 17/06/2018 10:22

Lock him in the lavatory until he's ' been'.
He shouldn't be inflicting this on you, that's quite revolting.
Go out without him if he can't control himself.

AlonsoTigerHeart · 17/06/2018 10:23

Am angel loses it wings everytime you fart in churchSad

itseasybeingcheesy · 17/06/2018 10:24

I often tell him to hold it in and he says it gives him a bad stomach Hmm he’s a right pillock when it comes to this!
The upstairs smells like something died as I gave him a lie in for Father’s Day and he farted all morning 🤢

And he doesn’t want us to leave him behind on Father’s Day.

No candles in church thank goodness!

OP posts:
BrutusMcDogface · 17/06/2018 10:25

Surely he won't stand there in church farting away. Surely not?!

BartholinsSister · 17/06/2018 10:25

The people at church will forgive him though, right?

BrutusMcDogface · 17/06/2018 10:26

Ps open all your windows if the house smells so bad.

JennieLee · 17/06/2018 10:27

I think a devout Christian would argue that attending the service might help your husband with his problem.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.'

BrutusMcDogface · 17/06/2018 10:27

Lol @ "lock him in the lavatory until he's 'been'"! So prim and proper! I couldn't lock my dp anywhere even if I tried. Grin

Candlelight123 · 17/06/2018 10:27

Urgh, glad I don't live with your DH then OP!
It's disgusting he should go into the loo every time he farts if it's that bad.

itseasybeingcheesy · 17/06/2018 10:28

They’ll forgive him but they’ll still feel sick from the smell! Resolved to stay in this morning and catch an evening service if he can stick a cork in it.

Happy Father’s Day all! 🤮

OP posts:
Candlelight123 · 17/06/2018 10:28

My judgy pants are hoiked up high on this one!

itseasybeingcheesy · 17/06/2018 10:29

Jennylee

If he “rests” the problem will get worse surely 😂

OP posts:
CourtneyLovely · 17/06/2018 10:35

Who are all you people who can hold a fart in for hours? What is your secret?

MichonnesBBF · 17/06/2018 10:36

Don't push it to much or he could end up 'Snapping and Farting' and it will be aimed right at you :)

Juells · 17/06/2018 10:37

My DF used to go outside the house when he wanted to fart. He was ever so polite.

@steff13

Do the services have candles? If so, he might create a fire hazard if he goes. The whole place could blow.

😂

Gardai · 17/06/2018 10:39

Surely you can’t fart all night then all day ? I thought it had to stop at some point after a dodgy meal. He needs meds or an evacuation.

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yawning801 · 17/06/2018 10:40

Michonne I was about to say exactly the same thing!

itseasybeingcheesy · 17/06/2018 10:41

I could do with some incense here to be honest, not that Church has any though...

We live in a three storey house so to go outside for a fart is quite an effort

OP posts:
itseasybeingcheesy · 17/06/2018 10:43

Might try to convince him to have a colonic, would that be cruel to the practitioner who administers them though?!

OP posts:
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