Just musing... I love my parents, they love me, no childhood abuse etc. I just don't like physical contact with them, never have. I will give them a weak perfunctory hug to say hello and goodbye, but that's it. It used to be the same with my grandparents - I loved them to bits, but never enjoyed hugs and kisses. A few years ago my mum was critically ill in hospital, unable to move, . I am ashamed to say that even in that dreadful situation it cost me no small amount of effort to even squeeze her hand :-(
My parents and maternal grandparents were never openly affectionate with each other - perhaps that's why? It's a shame - my paternal grandfather was very different and would have loved more cuddles from me/us - my sisters seem to be afflicted with familiar cuddlephobia as well.
My sisters and I are now in our late 30s and early 40s and slowly, slowly getting a bit more normal around each other. We have graduated from a mere smirky "hello" when seeing each other (long gaps in between as living in different countries) to a sarcastic pat on the shoulder accompanied by a semi sincere smile. It's actually quite funny :-) We are currently working on our embracing skills - have mustered approx 0.2 secs so far. BTW I have never talked to my sisters about this.
With my friends, inlaws, cousins, DH and kids I am not like that at all. I'm not overly tactile, but my kids do get showered with kisses and hugs all day, and fortunately they seem to enjoy it! I feel it's easier hugging my MIL and FIL even though I obviously love my own parents a lot more.
Weird, innit??
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Physical contact with older family members has always made me cringe.... why??
79 replies
Zaungast · 16/03/2018 11:35
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