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AIBU?

To expect a wedding invite more than 6 weeks before the big day?

205 replies

randomquestions · 18/02/2018 19:13

So I'm 99% sure I'm invited to a wedding in 6 weeks time, well I was 100% sure but the days are going by and the postman still hasn't delivered an invitation. I've sorted out childcare and everything for my kids for the day and evening.

But I would have expected to have received an invitation a minimum of 8 weeks before the big day. I know when I got married, I had to confirm numbers and meal choices etc with the venue at least 4 weeks before and you inevitably have to spend some time chasing up those people who don't get their RSVPs back by the RSVP date. And then you also need time to get the table plan done and printed or whatever.

AIBU to think it's leaving it a bit late to get the invites out? Or maybe I'm just not invited!

OP posts:
toolonglurking · 18/02/2018 19:15

I think 6 weeks before the wedding is the traditional time to send out the invitations is it not?

ChasedByBees · 18/02/2018 19:15

What makes you think you’re invited? If they’ve said verbally and you really are very sure, ask them where the invite is.

Aeroflotgirl · 18/02/2018 19:17

Not its usually, 3 months before the wedding, so people have a bit of time to book hotels, plan round the day. If you haven't received an invitation by now, than you are not going to be invited unless you are on the Z list for somebody to drop out.

kaytee87 · 18/02/2018 19:17

I sent my full day invitations 12 weeks before and evening 8 weeks I'm sure but mine were early compared to a lot I've received.
Why do you think you're invited all day?

BigSandyBalls2015 · 18/02/2018 19:17

It's very late.

MojoMoon · 18/02/2018 19:19

Did you get a save the date card? Invites might be late if they feel they've already done the important bit and told you when it is

greendale17 · 18/02/2018 19:21

I think 6 weeks before the wedding is the traditional time to send out the invitations is it not?

^Not at all. I have always received invitations at least 9 months before a wedding

MrsHathaway · 18/02/2018 19:21

I think 6 weeks is standard, particularly if your VIPs have had enough notice to arrange leave/travel/accommodation etc.

I'd give it another week (ie assume they posted with six weeks to go) before giving them a gentle nudge.

I mean, there are CF in the world but most people are honest and well-meaning so it's surely more likely they're cutting it fine than cutting you out.

NancyJoan · 18/02/2018 19:23

Six weeks is fairly standard, ime. What makes you think you’re invited?

Matilda1981 · 18/02/2018 19:24

6 weeks before a wedding is traditional - people can either come or they can’t and we made sure our close family and friends knew the date so that they could definitely sort childcare, accommodation etc - no one who knew the date panicked that they weren’t invited - they definitely knew that an invite was on the way!!

OuchLegoHurts · 18/02/2018 19:25

6 weeks is the standard here in Ireland anyway. 9 months!!!! That's crazy!

LizzieSiddal · 18/02/2018 19:29

6 weeks is traditional but that was during times when most people lived close to each other and weddings were a quick “church wedding and wedding breakfast, finished by 5”. So there wasn’t much to organise for guests.
Nowadays many need to organise and pay for accomodatiomn, travel, child care etc. It’s very rude to only give guests 6 weeks notice.

Dd got married last year, they sent their Save The Date cards 9 months before hand with the date and timings, then sent out invites with accommodations/taxi details 3 months before. People were coming from all over the world. You cannot give them 6 weeks notice.

ScouseQueen · 18/02/2018 19:30

I'm going to a wedding next month. We received the invitation in October.

As Bees said, what info have you already had about being invited? When was it last mentioned? It would be rude to have verbally invited you and then not actually do so when it comes to formal invitation time, but it's not unknown.

happymummy12345 · 18/02/2018 19:30

It depends on the situation??
We were only engaged 3 months and had 2 months to plan the whole thing. The date was set around the middle of February, and the invites went out as soon as the date was set, date was 9th April.

ReelingLush18 · 18/02/2018 19:31

Think that traditionally it's 8 weeks notice for a wedding?

GetYourRocksOff · 18/02/2018 19:32

6 weeks is no time at all!

We received a save the date yesterday from a wedding in June. They'd have been as well just sending the invites.

TheLastUNIC0RN · 18/02/2018 19:37

Traditionally 6-8 weeks before though so many people aim to actually post them on the 6 week mark (I have a wedding invite company)
IMO 6 weeks is tight to be sending out, but some people are just easy going about it.

spugzbunny · 18/02/2018 19:44

9 months?? That's insane! I'm doing 6 months before. That's loads of time. I sent save the dates out about 11 months before the date.

Onlyjoinedforthisthread · 18/02/2018 19:46

Nice to see someone following tradition

Mum2jenny · 18/02/2018 19:47

I sent my invites 1 week before the wedding, but given I'd only given my dear parents the same notice, no one could complain. And the ppl I wanted to be there, were there, so it worked for me!

HidingFromTheWorld · 18/02/2018 19:49

My invite to my cousin’s wedding arrived 3 weeks before the day. He thought the bride had posted it, she thought he had and it was actually in his glovebox waiting for him to confirm my address with my aunt!

Nobody had mentioned that we’d been invited, I just knew he was due to marry and, as I live 150+ miles away, I’d assumed we weren’t invited.

So, when the invitation did arrive, it was too late to request annual leave and book accommodation, etc. It caused a small row between my grandmother and my aunt, but I sent a card and monetary contribution and wished them well!

Zebrasinpyjamas · 18/02/2018 19:49

I thought 3 months was normal. Dh's huge family have four weddings this year and all of them sent invites 9-12 months ahead. That's too early in my opinion (plus their numbers keep changing as couples split up or announce they are pregnant and can't travel or need to bring children etc.
Op- I think you should ask them if you should have an invitation by now. Maybe it has got lost?

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Iloveacurry · 18/02/2018 19:50

I think I sent ours out 3-4 months before (maybe 5 even 😂) but we did have a Friday wedding. Didn’t do save the date either.

CandyMelts · 18/02/2018 19:52

Have you had a save the date OP?

I got an invite in Jan this year for a Wedding in August asking me to RSVP this month... god help me if I had to wait for work rotas or something. I don't believe the venue needed numbers this early and imagine they have a B list of potential guests.

LockedOutOfMN · 18/02/2018 19:53

I thought 6 weeks is typical, with the date having been notified previously.

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