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AIBU?

Did turning 40 make you want to get pregnant?

122 replies

ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 27/12/2017 05:53

I'm turning 40 on July. I don't have a child. Never wanted one until, well, today.

I was alone, just washing dishes, and suddenly thought I want to get pregnant next year.

I'm married. We have a good marriage. But we just didn't really have the urge to have kids. Always thought I didn't want to have children.

I was worked up two years ago, and everything was good. The GP wanted the work up, not me.

Should I trust this feeling?

Posting here for traffic.

OP posts:

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limon · 27/12/2017 07:58

Yes! It made me really Think about the fact that I had suppressed my desire to have a child. I had dd at 43 and 3/4.

insancerre · 27/12/2017 08:03

I was worked up two years ago, and everything was good. The GP wanted the work up, not me

I don't understand this

Chchchchangeabout · 27/12/2017 08:07

I was about 8 months pregnant at 40!

DIngdongmerryilyonhigh · 27/12/2017 08:11

Yup! Was exactly the same as you. Two months before I hit 40 I suddenly started panicking about whether I would regret never having a child. I went on to have my first DD at 42 and another DD at 43 :) I really do think it's biology at work, giving you a push before time runs out.

LoniceraJaponica · 27/12/2017 08:12

What do you mean by "worked up" insancerre?

I wasn't bothered about having children and unexpectedly became pregnant at 41. I was nearly 42 when DD was born.

Beltane18 · 27/12/2017 08:16

No
40 is a bit of a media invention I think
Do you want a baby or have you absorbed a lot of stuff about biological clocks?i mean, obvs if you do, go ahead and good luck

Did the work up involve fertility checks? I'd be stunned if a doc asked me to do that.

insancerre · 27/12/2017 08:16

Japonica
In quoted it from the op
I was asking what she meant

stevie69 · 27/12/2017 08:17

No, not at all

ferntwist · 27/12/2017 08:17

Go for it! First time baby on the way here at 40. I had miscarriages in my 30s because of a uterine septum, now removed after two operations.
You only live once!

Kitsharrington · 27/12/2017 08:18

Work up is having your bloodwork tested to check hormone levels.

Battleax · 27/12/2017 08:18

A fertility work up? Are you in the States?

It seems to be common. Probably an evolutionary mechanism. How do you feel about the idea now it's grabbed you?

stevie69 · 27/12/2017 08:18

Turning 40 made me want to shed the six stones of excess weight before I got to 50

ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 27/12/2017 09:39

Yup, Kitsharrington is correct. Hormone levels were checked, etc. Basically everything was fine.

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Jaygee61 · 27/12/2017 09:51

It was the age I realised it wasn’t going to happen. Had already been trying for 11 years, and finally told there was no point having any more treatment.

LoniceraJaponica · 27/12/2017 09:53

I have never come across the expression "work up" in those terms before.

Apologies insancerre.

Temporaryanonymity · 27/12/2017 09:55

Yes, I spent a lot of time thinking about it between 40 and 42. Took a few risks too.

My dcs are 11 and 9 and more independent. A baby would be lovely but really I know that I wouldn't cope with adding a third to the mix. I am now 42 and the urge has passed.

ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 27/12/2017 09:57

I have never come across the expression "work up" in those terms before.

It's a common term - www.google.com.au/search?q=fertility+work+up&oq=fertility+work+up&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l5.5093j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

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Mum2OneTeen · 27/12/2017 10:20

Yep! That happened to me, turned forty and suddenly decided that I wanted a child. Had DD two months before turning 41, I called her my "better late than never baby"

Best decision I ever made! She's 17 now, only wished I'd started earlier because it was exhausting at the time & she missed out on me doing some things with her than younger mums would have been able to.

onlyonaTuesday · 27/12/2017 10:26

Nope, it made me want to travel.
To see all the things I had wanted to see.

BrutusMcDogface · 27/12/2017 10:29

I think I would be the same, if I had no children by the age of 40. It most probably is your last chance. What does your husband think?

BrutusMcDogface · 27/12/2017 10:30

People saying no- do you already have children?

ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 27/12/2017 10:47

What does your husband think?

I don't know yet. I haven't discussed this with him because I want to be sure. It's weird, it's like I woke up this morning and realized I want to have a kid.

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Jaygee61 · 27/12/2017 10:49

What were the reasons you didn’t want children before, and why are they no longer valid?

mrsnec · 27/12/2017 11:10

I had the same feeling at 30.

I didn't get pregnant until I was 36 and then had 3 pregnancies in 3 years.

Before I got pregnant l was hesitant about it because it was such a U turn for me and the first thing I wanted to do was to make sure I could from a medical point of view. I have no idea why it took so long.

I never really had a successful career. I never put my education to good use. I just felt that no matter what job I had it would involve running around after people so they may as well be ones I've created I don't mind being a sahm.

Friends in the same boat as op always say children would stop them travelling and having a social life but I felt I had done enough of that and I really felt that I might regret in years to come not having a family of my own. My DH and I really try to still have a life but the long haul holidays stopped!

But I've just turned 40. I have a 3 year old dd and my ds is nearly 2 and I'm knackered.

ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 27/12/2017 11:12

What were the reasons you didn’t want children before, and why are they no longer valid?

Actually, nothing monumental really. I just never had the feeling that I wanted kids - until today.

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