Worst bridesmaid

[Mollybear12]

Hello!

I just wanted an outsiders view, on my lost friendship of 25 years!

Friends since primary school, I obv asked her to be my MOH, her name is sam, I have another best friend Helen , but she lives a few hours away, and we have been great friend for 7 years! I thought I best ask sam. As I thought she might of been offended. And Helen is so laid back, she was just so happy for me getting married
Also this was a big wedding but not a stressful one! I'm really easy going.

So..
Not long after I got engaged I obv wanted to go dress shopping, I asked sam she said oh I hate shopping! (Wtf? ) anyway I let it slide, we went , went well and I actually found my dress on that occasion went back and got it a few weeks later,
There was noo interest in anything tho, 6 months Helen said do you mind if I plan your Hen do as sam hasn't mentioned it and ignores any questions in the group chat , I was having 6 bridesmaids all together and they had a group chat , and then a separate one for the hens!
I was surprised that sam hadn't been involved, even just in bridesmaids way let alone moh, anyway hen do was amazing and Helen pulled it right out the bag!

Anyway long story short, that how it was, sam just didn't want to get involved, I even said to her she doesn't have to do anything,if she was to busy, the only thing I asked was if she could do a speech as didn't want my dad to do one ( hadn't seen him in 3 years! Bla bla)

I paid for all the girls dresses hair make up shoes, accommodation, got them all a morning thank you gift, even got her a special present for my husband 🤗 to give during his speech, but it was diff for him to say much as she hadn't actually done anything, but even so, all bases were covered,

I had the best day, I involved her in alll of it, from sharing the room the night before, she got in my transport on the way, she was on my table, she got a public gift!

Then 8 weeks later I get a horrible message saying she can't be friends with me anymore, she was annoyed that I hadn't given her my bouquet to her and gave it to Helen and she's obv my best friend , and that she wasn't sitting directly next to me at the table, I don't know who I gave my flowers to! I mean ffs! And she wasn't right next to me as Helen had her husband and the seating worked better, she was the 3rd it was a round table ! And I wasn't even at it most the time!

I sent her so many messages asking her to meet up and sort it out, she's in alllll my sodding photos from start to finish having a great time with my free bar! And she gave this speech about how we're like sisters etc!

What did I do ?? I'm so annoyed that she could do this and ruin the memories of my wedding, when I actually think she was a crap bridesmaid and even friend and I didn't call her up on any of it.

It's been 6 months I'm more annoyed But still upset! 25 years of friendship !

Thanks for reading, think I just need to vent! Xx

[maudeismyfavouritepony]

It's the boyfriend thing, dressed up as something else - he's giving her grief and she is blaming you, I reckon.

Let her stew, don't respond.

[Longtime]

I doubt this helps but people are weird. My dh's sister has stopped speaking to me. No explanation as to why. I've barely seen her to speak to (I haven't been the most socialable since my dad passed away six months ago) so can't imagine what I could have said to her. I only found out because I suggested something which would have been to her financial advantage and got short shrift. I asked her what I'd done but no reply. I dont need this shit in my life so my dh can deal with her himself if it's necessary.

[Mollybear12]

Now my friends think she must be jealous , but why would she? We have complety different lives! She's a city girl, I'm all country and mostly mucking animals out,
It was just so out the blue, I feel stupid! How cud I let her have the biggest part in my day and she can just delete me with one message x

[Mollybear12]

We are in out 30s, she had a new boyfriend, I met him once but he was obv invited but I said he cudnt sit on our table as that was all planned and as we were all staying together the night before I didn't know what she wanted to do, she had every option available to her, maybe it stems from there 🤷🏼‍♀️ x

[CoughLaughFart]

You say you've known her since primary school. Is she still there?

[Mollybear12]

We have a few mutual friends but I don't speak to them as much, and I didn't want to message them and get them involved ,
I did send the message she sent me to my other bridesmaids and asked if I honestly deserved this and if I have treated them this way aswell! They were soo angry with her, they said I put so much effort into everyone else and seem to forget it was ment to be my day. X

[maudeismyfavouritepony]

Let her stew, she is being ridiculous about a bouquet and a seating arrangement. What is her own personal situation, is she single/ married?

[Hadjab]

She appears to be selfish, lazy and bold as brass enjoying the position of MOH without putting any effort in - you're better off without her.

[MommaGee]

Thats really odd and really crap.
Do you have any mutual friends? If not Im afraid you just need to have a good scream, and let it go. You had a great day - thats what matters. Sounds like its not a great loss tbh

[Hisnamesblaine]

Ooooooooh she sounds like hard work. Was she always so flakey previously?