Me and dh live in a small town near a big city with our 2 dc. Let's call it Townsville. My dh has lived here all his life. His parents live here and he is an only child. Most of his friends have moved away now though. We met here. My parents live in a small town near another big city about 2 hours away. Let's call it cityvale.
Townsville and cityvale are very similar in house prices and job prospects and schools.
I want to move nearer to cityvale Because my dad is suffering from a incurable degenerative neurological disease. It is terminal. He is already significantly disabled by this and it will only get worse. My mum is his sole carer. As dad cannot travel any more they cannot visit us. I try to visit them as much as possible and take the kids too so they can see them as well. But my mum needs more help and I am desperate to spend more time with them before dad dies. I want dad to have more time with the kids. I want to be able to spend time round there to give mum a break, help her get dad to appointments, just support her and give her the chance to regular grandma stuff she currently doesn't get to do whilst the kids are little ( just stuff like taking them to the park, riding bikes etc).
Dh refuses to consider moving. At all. Not to cityvale. Not half way between.
He doesn't want to.
He doesn't think we'll get another mortgage if we sell and try to move- as I'm not working. He doesn't want to rent out place and for us to rent near cityvale as it's "too risky" and the morgage doesn't allow us to do that.
He says he'll be miserable if he has to live far from his parents and the kids will miss his parents and the kids will miss them too- but he obviously feels it is acceptable for me to be missing my parents and for my parents not seeing the kids as much.
He says the kids are settled here- but only one is at school and she'll need to move schools in a year to go to juniors anyway.
He said he never want a to move away from his parents. Ever. This makes me sad as I feel I will never get a say in where I live. I asked what if his parent decide to move- he got cross and said they'd never do that to him.
He said we've got it good here as his parents do free child care. But other family manage with out don't they?
His parents are healthy and could easily travel between the two towns- so it's not like we wouldn't see them
He said we've settled in Townsville- but really it's me that's made
All the effort making local friend and joining clubs etc. His old friends are
Scattered all over the place and he hasn't really made any new ones here.
Am I being an unreasonable bitch to ask him to move? I am desperately sad about my dad and worried for my mum.
SP x
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AIBU?
Aibu to want to move house?
23 replies
Spottyparrot99 · 06/07/2017 22:01
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