Can I ask childminder to do this?

[Rollonbedtime7pm]

My DC3 is 14 months and goes to a wonderful childminder - she has 2 little boys and they love DD.

But, they love her a bit intensely sometimes! We see them all at school on my days off and they are constantly leaning on my pram, right in DD's face, hands all over her near her mouth, one of them was licking her face the other day!

I always ask them to move back and not be so in her face all the time (she gives them a shove too if it's too much!) but obviously they must be like this when DD is at their house.

I expected (and we got) the usual childcare lurgy when she started but I think the amount of bugs she gets could be reduced by them not slobbering all over her bloody face!! I tell my own kids to respect DD'S personal space and I really want to ask the childminder to get her kids to leave her be!

Would I come across like a wanker?!

I realise she could be getting bugs from anywhere but my other kids aren't ill and she has woken up today all snotty, coincidentally a few days after being licked by a perma-snot 2 year old!

AIBU?

[MrsOverTheRoad]

am what I am?

[MrsOverTheRoad]

Who have nothing?

[DianaMitford]

I

[MrsOverTheRoad]

Brasty but these are not twins

And babies DO have personal space.

[Suntrapped]

I would definitely have a word with CM. Toddlers do have a sense of personal space and it's not fair to let two older children crowd her constantly. They sound like they're dominanting her. The licking and touching her face with grubby hands is unnecessary and CM should be stepping in and protecting the younger charges!

[ClopySow]

Maybe it's just when they see her away from their home? Maybe they're just excited to see her and it's not so intense in the normality of their own home.

[brasty]

Except babies really do not have a sense of personal space in the same way. Twins will lick each others faces as babies

[Rollonbedtime7pm]

I think that is my major thing Mrs - it's almost less about the germs and more about the personal space thing.

If you as an adult had a friend who licked your face every time they saw you, you would think they were a creep yet because they are 1 and 2 it's ok because it "boosts her immune system?!"

What kind of message does it send DD if her caregivers won't help her stop unwanted attention?

[MrsOverTheRoad]

Does the boy's Mother just stand there whilst they crowd her and lick her?



I'd be saying something whilst it was happening OP. "Can you ask them not to lick her and touch her face please?"

With a smile is fine.

Your DD needs to know she's not an object.

[Jamhandprints]

YANBU but I dont know how you would say that to her without causing offence.

[BeyondThePage]

Depends - does the childminder take her when she is ill? If not then I'd ask that she is kept away from unwell kids.

If she does though, then it is thought good for generally healthy kids to meet lots of different viruses/bacteria - it boosts the immune system

[Rollonbedtime7pm]

I'm not saying she will never be I'll if they stop but I just think you can reduce the chances of them getting passed on if they stop licking her!

Also, she's a person too and it's bloody grim!!!

[echt]

Even without the licking she would get bugs, as will you.

Relax. She shoves them away when it gets too much. Good.

[Rollonbedtime7pm]

I tend to agree but constant colds also fuck up my sleep and she wipes snot all over me all the bloody time!

[StillDrivingMeBonkers]

Well I take the attitude it improves the immune system, but my old school feckless parenting is so out of vogue