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AIBU?

School advice?

17 replies

AnneBiscuit · 21/06/2017 11:42

I hope it's OK to post here to ask for advice/experiences as I have a meeting with my son's school tomorrow regarding bullying/ lesson refusing.

My son is Y10 and has been bullied for quite a while which resulted in him refusing to attend lessons/be in the corridors/meal areas. To get him back into school they've allowed him to go in the inclusion room but have said that it's only temporary.

All the time he's been in there (about 5 weeks) they've kept asking him to go back to lessons which he's adamant that he won't as he says he doesn't feel safe. He was injured in Y7 (one month after starting there) deliberately by another student which resulted in him missing school due to pain in his back which affected his mobility. School were pretty rubbish at the time and, although they allowed him in the inclusion room, put a lot of pressure of him to go to lessons even though he could only walk short distances due to pain. After seeing many doctors etc he was admitted to hospital for treatment and has had no problems since.

I'm seriously considering homeschooling but would prefer him to stay on the school roll so he can take his gcse's next year at school. Y11 would just be revision so presumably he could do that in the inclusion room but I don't think they will allow it.

I am hoping that someone may have some experience of their child attending school but not in main lessons.

I should also add that school think he may be on the spectrum and have referred him to cahms.

Thanks

OP posts:

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georgjensen · 21/06/2017 20:30

What is the inclusion room? What activity usually take place in there? How is it staffed?

TheSkyAtNight · 21/06/2017 20:28

Inclusion room isn't an education & won't enable him to do well in his GCSEs.

I think you need to ask what the school intend to do about safeguarding him and the disruption in classes.

You should be agreeing that inclusion room isn't good enough for your son - how are they going to ensure he feels safe enough to learn?

toastandbutterandjam · 21/06/2017 19:21

Yes, it was changing classrooms. Coincidently, there has also been no more bullying in classrooms either! I can only assume that there was something happening in the classrooms that was making her so unhappy!

AnneBiscuit · 21/06/2017 14:25

Thanks Toast. Do you mind me asking. Was it changing classrooms that persuaded your sister to go back to lessons.

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Nelly5678 · 21/06/2017 13:59

Doesn't matter when u start them, you still learn stiff for GCSE and he won't do very will if he's working out of a textbook in an inclusion room because he won't have the teacher there to cover parts and explain what the textbook doesn't. Swap schools or expect lower results than he should be getting tbh

toastandbutterandjam · 21/06/2017 13:10

My sister is younger than your son, but she's also experienced persistent bullying since she was in Y4. She moved primary schools due to bullying and was bullied at her new primary school. She then went to secondary school and is bullied there. She is possibly on the spectrum. She is called names, laughed at (for doing nothing), people take her belongings (including lunch money!) when she isn't looking and she was beaten up.

Earlier this year, she refused to go to lessons. She didn't tell us why. I think she was just (as your son is) fed up of it all. Her head of year (who brushed all the bullying to the side) gave her a new timetable. She's now in a different class for all her subjects. She is (honestly) much happier. I'm not sure whether someone in one of her classes was the ringleader and it was making her uncomfortable.
She was in a separate room for some time (before she got the new timetable) and said it was much easier to work in there. She was happier not being in lessons. The bullying is still going on and we're working with the school, but surprisingly, since she's moved classes, the stealing money, hitting etc has all stopped!

I'm sorry I can't offer much help or advice, but I really hope your son is ok. It's heartbreaking when they're so unhappy! I just want you to know, you're not alone!

AnneBiscuit · 21/06/2017 12:45

The bullying was mostly name calling so a lot of he time they tried to play it down. Some of it was because of a hobby he was doing so he was told not to do it anymore as it's not someone most children would do and it was drawing attention to him. A lot of the time he didn't know the people doing it so they said they couldn't do anything.

It hasn't been constant so DS has just got on with it and not mentioned it to me a lot of the time. I don't know why he decided he wouldn't go to lessons. Nothing happened that I know of. I think it's been getting him down for a while and he's just had enough.

He's not receiving a great deal of help in the inclusion centre but he says he can work much better in there as there's a lot of noise/disruption in lessons which hinders his learning.

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witsender · 21/06/2017 12:33

If the school/LA think there is an issue they can authorise tuition at home, rarely.

However I wouldn't rely on yr 11 only being revision, at all. If you don't trust them I would home school...you can use online high schools etc.

bigmac4me · 21/06/2017 12:28

Can I ask what happened between Years 7 and 10. Did your son receive any help for the 3 year ongoing bullying situation? What was the trigger 5 weeks ago that meant he has refused to go to lessons now?

I will also agree with everyone else that Year 11 is NOT just revision. As a foster carer I have had children at top grammar schools all the way through to special schools and for all of them new GCSE topics were taught until at least Easter.

How much help and support is he receiving from the teachers now he is in inclusion. I know when some foster children have been in inclusion they have received very little education as obviously they are not in the class when teachers explain and teach new topics, and worksheets on something you have not been taught doesn't really cut it.

I wish you luck whatever you decide.

AnneBiscuit · 21/06/2017 12:16

School don't seem to be coming up with any solution other than to keep saying he can't stay in the inclusion room. I just don't know what to do.

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unfortunateevents · 21/06/2017 12:04

No I don't think it makes a difference that he started the work in Yr 9, the reason schools are moving more to do that is because they have realised that the exams are more difficult and they need that extra year to get through the curriculum, not because they fancy a year of revising in Yr 11. What are his GCSE options?

Wolfiefan · 21/06/2017 12:03

Has he actually been being bullied since Y7? What have the school done to ensure his safety? Being in an inclusion room will mean he is not actually being taught at all. Unless he has a tutor with him. I would want to work with the school and get him back in lessons ASAP.

unfortunateevents · 21/06/2017 12:01

Yr11 definitely won't be revision only, particularly as his cohort will be the first year to take all of the new 9-1 GCSEs, which are more difficult and have more content. If you are seriously considering Home Edding him while intending him to take GCSEs, you will have to be prepared and able to teach a significant portion of the curriculum, rather than just let him revise what he already knows.

With regards to the situation at school, are you dealing with the SENCO at his school? If they say he can't stay in inclusion and he won't go back to class, have they offered any other solution? What does your son want to do - does he/you have any ideas of what would make him feel comfortable in class? While I can appreciate that he doesn't want to go back to class, I can also see the school's point of view in that no-one can spend months in the inclusion room and still hope to keep up to speed with the class work.

AnneBiscuit · 21/06/2017 12:00

Regarding Y11 not being a revision year does it make a difference that he started his GCSE's in Y9?

I think he's feel the same at another school as he's really worn down by it all.

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Familyof3or4 · 21/06/2017 11:49

Cross post with previous but it posts s ab important point.
GCSEs taught over two years for a reason

Familyof3or4 · 21/06/2017 11:48

Sorry no advice on most but just to say that y11 is not just revision

TeenAndTween · 21/06/2017 11:47

Y11 would just be revision so presumably he could do that in the inclusion room but I don't think they will allow it.

That comment is way off the mark. generally they won't finish teaching the syllabus until Feb half term at the earliest, possibly Easter holidays. Whatever you decide, please decide based on facts not incorrect assumptions.

Have you looked into transferring schools? That is a possibility but would impact due to different boards, timetabling and teaching order. But would probably be better than not being in school at all.

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