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AIBU?

to just get rid of minecraft once and for all!!!

16 replies

steeplearning · 16/06/2017 23:07

Ds is 13 - he's lost. He spends about an hour on minecraft each night, then hours at the weekend. It's what he lives for, he does his homework and then on he goes. Getting him to the dinner table is hard work - he usually just lets his dinner get cold.

He goes to no clubs. He has no real interests. He spends his Saturday mornings on Minecraft whilst my daughter goes to clubs. He's not sporty at all, tells me he's no good at any sports. He's not into any music, says it's a waste of time. He has some good friends at school but never really sees them outside of school; they all seem to go to plenty of clubs, mainly sports.

Minecraft has been in the forefront of his mind for about two years now. We've tried all kinds of things - restricted hours Mon - Fri, restricted time at the weekends. It doesn't seem to work or if it does it causes arguments when he is asked to come off.

I'm thinking it's time to get rid of it once and for all and delete it from the computer - not sure if that's possible. He will be so so cross with me but surely he would thank me in the long run? Dh says it's pointless and he would just get addicted to some other game; that this isn't the problem - it's his 'being lost' in life that is the problem. He tells me ds will have mental health problems later on but isn't very forthcoming with solutions. Today he suggested we just throw him into a tennis club - ds says he would never be able to hit the ball. I'm not sure what the plan of action is but the main question is: AIBU to totally get Minecraft out of his life for good?

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Mylittlestsunshine · 16/06/2017 23:12

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Mylittlestsunshine · 16/06/2017 23:14

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NancyDonahue · 16/06/2017 23:18

You need to do something. I have seen game addiction that ceases social contact turn into mental health and anxiety issues. I think a restriction on time rather than deleting. Assuming he has introverted tendancies, explain to ds that he doesn't have to turn into Mr Sociable and be the life and soul of the party but he needs to do something out of the house to keep his mind healthy. How about going bowling as a family as a regular weekend thing. Or cinema, swimming, Go Ape type activities etc.

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SqueeksAway · 16/06/2017 23:39

if he learns through minecraft try n divert him into programming it either in minecraft with compercraft mods or on a raspberry pi minepi where it isn't online and the cool stuff is when you program it in python - it's more challenging n it may wean him off it a bit then you can offer other stuff to do. Minecraft is addictive because it works, you have full control and it allows you to explore but ultimately it's running around someone else's head unless you learn to program it

Activities as a family sounds great especially things like climbing and kayaking

Also if he's playing online is he in a community? He might be socialising more than you think

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SqueeksAway · 16/06/2017 23:41

*computercraft and apologies my grammar is shot to bits >_

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DailyMailReadersAreThick · 16/06/2017 23:59

I don't think 'cold turkey' is the right way to go. He's not going to develop other interests overnight, and all he'll have in the meantime (if he develops others at all) is resentment and pain.

What do you mean that restricting times "doesn't really work"?

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hangry · 17/06/2017 00:03

you'd be deleting whole worlds he'd created too. it sounds stupid but the loss of something like that would really hurt him. i don't think i'd ever forgive if someone did it to me. it's like ripping up and artists canvases or deleting all a musicians recordings.

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ladyyyglittersparkles · 17/06/2017 00:11

Sorry couldn't help myself

to just get rid of minecraft once and for all!!!
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LovingLola · 17/06/2017 00:13

When our dc was 12 we realised one evening that minecraft was taking over their life. We deleted it. It was the best thing we could have done for that child. Never looked back.

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ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 17/06/2017 00:19

My ds is 9 and completely addicted to computer games. All his friends are the same and they play together over the xbox. I wouldn't ban him from it or delete it, although I get how you feel. I enrolled ds in a local rugby club and he goes twice a week, although he sometimes kicks off about not wanting to go, but as its the only thing he does now (dropped his hockey club etc) I am absolutely insistent. I also try to do things as a family and he has to join in or lose computer time. But I see that when he is engaging with friends over computer games it's not really that different to when we used to call round for friends

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steeplearning · 17/06/2017 00:21

Thank you for your replies, so interesting to read them (and thanks for the laugh ladyyyglitter). Ds did say tonight that he would actually like me to get rid of minecraft but it would be painful at first. He tried to stop using it for a month and managed two days. I do understand that taking it away completely would seem unfair but part of me thinks he wants me to do just that. LovingLola - your message resonated with me the loudest.

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CrazedZombie · 17/06/2017 00:22

An hour a night and Saturday morning isn't excessive imo. My teens easily spend twice as long on social media/YouTube/gaming. They will listen to Spotify while doing those actions - does that count as an extra interest? ๐Ÿ˜‚

Many of his peers will be playing GTA, Call of Duty, Battlefield etc and should your son switch to that kind of game, you'd wonder why you were anti-Minecraft.

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CrazedZombie · 17/06/2017 00:23

X-post You can completely ignore my previous post if he wants to quit. ๐Ÿ˜‚

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indigox · 17/06/2017 00:24

An hour a day on an educational game isn't that bad. Plenty of kids aren't sporty or into music, why force him into something he has no interest in?

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Pardalis · 17/06/2017 00:27

Thanks to his older brothers, my DS has been playing mine craft since he was 2. He's now 5. Time is limited to battery life. He gets one session a day and that's it. He can't play whilst it's plugged in.

But what he's learned is pretty cool. It's improved his reading and writing and tonight he told me that mutton is meat that comes from sheep. It's not all bad!

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ThePants999 · 17/06/2017 00:32

I'm ashamed to remember how much of my childhood went on games. FAR more than an hour each weeknight and a few hours on a Saturday! It didn't kill me, though, and now I've got a kid of my own to pay me back :)

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