My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

My son wants to wear a skirt.

42 replies

Thebestusernamesaretaken · 17/07/2015 13:50

My son is 5 and has recently told me he doesn't want to be a boy any more, he wants to be a girl! He has gone as far as pointing out school skirts in asda and saying he wants to wear one to school. I draw the line at that but wibu to let him have a non school skirt?

OP posts:
Report
Goshthatsspicy · 18/07/2015 21:31

I think it would be extremely unusual for a little boy to be able to wear a dress in reception. Children of that age will definitely comment and they (unfortunately) will laugh. It wouldn't be their fault, and it would hurt the child in the dress. As l said before, l don't think society is ready for it. One day... :)

Report
MissClaudette · 18/07/2015 20:46

I let my 4yo DS wear anything he picks. He chooses his clothes for the day, if they are impractical in any way that is his issue and he knows that, and he has a tendency to pick two different things and then carry one spare top/pair of trousers/pair of shorts/shoes in a little rucksack.

Honestly, I would see this as such a non-issue. And I bet so would the children in the school. I reckon any child that would give him issues has bigger ones regarding the parent. Clothes are clothes, toys are toys, colours are colours. None of this boy-shit girl-shit nonsense.

Report
TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 18/07/2015 20:32

Bob Hoskins wanted to wear a dress. I read him reminiscing about it once. Luckily the hostess of the party where he cried about it (aged 5 or so) found a spare one for him to change into.

Report
Goshthatsspicy · 18/07/2015 15:23

For home, l don't see any issue.
For school though, he needs to wear traditional clothing. Not because he is wrong, but because society is yet to catch up.
One could argue that he could change how people think. In my opinion, l don't think many parents would want their Child to be the guinea pig.

Report
seagreengirl · 18/07/2015 15:18

Little boys have wanted to wear skirts forever. It's definitely not just a MN thing. It's completely normal and doesn't say anything about their sexuality.

Report
CatsCantTwerk · 18/07/2015 14:56

If these threads get any more common, boys will start to rebel and actually want to wear trousers just to be different!

Grin

Report
Whodathink1t · 18/07/2015 14:49

I was the first girl at my secondary school to complain about the inequality issue when it came to not being allowed to wear trousers. I used to cycle in and quite frankly skirts were a hinderence.
I can totally understand why boys would want to wear skirts - letting it all hang out, with a good breeze on your undercarriage is a wonderful thing! My family all wore the "wee willie winke" night shirts for years - the most comfortable items EVER! These days I float around in a kaftan.

With regards to the OP - I have colleagues (so not just an MN thing) who's boys want to wear what is traditionally girls clothes. They just let their kids get on with it. I do think a kilt would be a good idea - girls wear kilts too.

Report
Floggingmolly · 18/07/2015 14:45

It may be that actually people react well with his choices. A boy wearing a school dress is unlikely to have a positive reaction, imo. It could also haunt him for the rest of his schooldays...
When he's old enough to understand the potentional impact of his choices; let him choose.
But sometimes you have to save them from themselves. I'll probably be roasted for saying that, but I live in the real world; not MNland.

Report
BabyFeets · 18/07/2015 14:36

Yeah why not

Report
rosesanddaisies · 18/07/2015 14:32

I think that's a hard thing to say, as in YABU/YANBU. Personally, I would just want my kid to feel happy in himself, having spent the whole of my own childhood deeply, deeply unhappy in my own head. I would explain to my son the societal consequences of him wearing a skirt ie people might judge you because people can be judmental shits, but if he still wanted to I would. I wouldn't want to stop him being happy in case people might tease him. He might be the kind of kid who can deal with whispers/stares...if that's what happens. It may be that actually people react well with his choices. But ultimately if he feels strongly enough to want to do that, why not?

Report
bluefay · 18/07/2015 13:21

Yabu it's just weird this only ever happens on MN and so many of these threads have been done.

Report
Apricota · 18/07/2015 13:10

I would let him wear a skirt, why not. He will like it and wants to. Just. Play it down, may be in days around the house.

Report
Nargles · 17/07/2015 20:59

"hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman

I have never quite understood why it is acceptable, in our society, for girls to wear trousers and shorts but it isn't acceptable for boys to wear skirts?"
I've always thought this dialogue from The Cement Garden (also sampled at the start of a Madonna song in case it sounds familiar!) sums it's up perfectly:

"Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots
'Cause it's OK to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading"


But I agree with other poster's who've said that 5 is too young to get tied up in knots over this. Treat it with the same innocence he does and see how it plays out over time.

Report
StrumpersPlunkett · 17/07/2015 20:50

so when DS2 was that age he too was determined he didn't want to be a boy, he wanted to be a girl and wear girls clothes.
At no time did we poopoo the idea, we were not dismissive or unkind, however, we did say he should wait till he was a bit older to make sure he didn't change his mind.
He is now nearly 9 and v definately happy being a boy, albeit a boy with mostly female friends and a very delicate nature.

Report
judypoovey26 · 17/07/2015 20:40

My 5 yr old did this earlier this year. Not only did he want to wear a skirt or dress, but he wanted to be a girl. He was adamant about this. So I let him wear a dress. And guess what? After a week, the novelty wore off. And now only a few months later, it's ALL about being a boy for him.

Seriously, you're overthinking this OP. It's a piece of cloth. That's all. Whatever you or anybody project onto a small child wearing said piece of cloth is your problem, not the kid's.

Report
sausagechops101 · 17/07/2015 19:11

I'd let him wear a skirt in the house but wait until he's a bit older before letting him wear it to play out in it.

I say this as a former Steiner school pupil whose parents are continually disappointed by my inability to be gay, black or transgender.

Report
morelikeguidelines · 17/07/2015 19:06

If it was up to me both girls and boys would have a choice of skirt or trousers. It doesn't make sense to me to differentiate between them.

Report
Thebestusernamesaretaken · 17/07/2015 18:25

Took him I to asda this afternoon, he decided he didn't want a skirt, he wants a school dress. He didn't get one as I have no idea how the school would view that (and there's only 3 days left) he got a car instead!

OP posts:
Report
glamourousgranny42 · 17/07/2015 18:21

"He'll be teased"
Well deal with the ignorant people that tease him then. I hate it when people trot out the line that any child who is different in any way should conform because of
the possibilty of teasing. How about we bring our children up to be tolerant and celebrate difference. My children wouldnt tease a boy in a dress, or a child with gay parents or who was overweight or mixed race or disabled. Its not inevitable ffs

Report
TheHouseOnBellSt · 17/07/2015 18:20

And another....he wore one to prom too.

My son wants to wear a skirt.
Report
TheHouseOnBellSt · 17/07/2015 18:19

Things are changing. Will Smith's son Jayden wears one quite often.

My son wants to wear a skirt.
Report
RachelRagged · 17/07/2015 18:14

Meh , let him have the skirt.

My sons have never asked for skirts or bras but my youngest did go through a phase of wearing my nightie or bra even, while his DB liked to wear a jumper of mine or a T Shirt for a short while.

None of them wear such anymore .

Report

Newsletters you might like

Discover Exclusive Savings!

Sign up to our Money Saver newsletter now and receive exclusive deals and hot tips on where to find the biggest online bargains, tailored just for Mumsnetters.

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Parent-Approved Gems Await!

Subscribe to our weekly Swears By newsletter and receive handpicked recommendations for parents, by parents, every Sunday.

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

cailindana · 17/07/2015 18:13

Is that a reason not to allow him to do it SockBalls?

Report
Fatmomma99 · 17/07/2015 18:12

I don't see anything wrong with it.

And whether it's a phase or an indication of how he's going to want to be in the future, it's it better/nicer/kinder to go with it and support him.

If he wants to wear skirts at 20+ what you would or wouldn't allow at 5 won't make a difference to whether he does or not.
But you can help how he feels about himself.

Report
YouBastardSockBalls · 17/07/2015 18:12

He'll be teased.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.