I don't know if this is bullying, or just normal boy stuff, or somewhere in between, so could use some opinions...
By way of background, I've got 2 DSs, aged 16 and 14. I have no parents, no other family to speak of. DSs do see their dad, but he's pretty useless. No other family involved, and no real male role model involved in their lives. Other than my bf, who I've only been with for a little over a year, so he's only been around relatively recently.
So DS2 isn't quite the typical 14yo. He's tiny in height (about the size of a 11/12 yo) - some of the boys in his year are 6ft plus. He's the smallest boy, indeed there are only one or two girls who are smaller than him. He's also quite sensitive, loves animals, hates any kind of animal cruelty etc. Is lovely with younger children too. Hates most sports although is good at them, just doesn't enjoy them. He is very into computers and gaming, and does play a lot on xbox with lots of different friends, but at/out of school mainly has 2 friends, one of whom in particular isn't always that nice to him (friend is a slightly spoilt only child, likes to dish out insults but can't take them back etc. I've tried in the past to encourage DS to find other friends but he still is closest to these two).
Anyway, because of his size and how he is, I've always perhaps worried a little he might end up being bullied. Until last summer DS1 and he were at the same school which reassured me rather, as DS1 is very much a larger than life character, takes no shit from anyone, and I think DS2 befitted from being known as DS1s brother. Anyway, for most of the year he's been fine - there was a period of time earlier in the year when he missed some time off school but that was more to do with just not having his brother there to chivvy him along etc there didn't' seem to be any more behind it than that and for the last few months he's been going to school fine and not missed a day.
So to the last couple of weeks..first he came home with pen all over his arm, he said apparently girls in his class had drawn on him. He laughed it off as no big deal. This happened 2 or 3 times and his reaction was the same.
Then last week he had a few bruises on his torso. I asked him about it and he said some of the boys had been going round giving 'nipple cripples' . He just shrugged over it and didn't seem that bothered.
So then today he came home with a massive rip in his shirt (as apparently girls were going round ripping off everyone's pockets) and pen all over his face -the latter he was clearly annoyed about it, said it was one of the dumber boys in his class, and DS2 had shoved him off and then thrown a chair at him (but hadn't got into trouble because his teacher had already seen the pen incident).
The whole thing worries me...I never had this with DS1, I don't know if it's normal teen stuff though. DS1 has expressed concern, not based on what DS2 has said, but more on what he's heard from friends who are still at the school. It's end of term tomorrow, but would you do/say anything, or leave it??
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AIBU?
AIBU to be concerned by this?
15 replies
velvetspoon · 16/07/2015 20:25
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