Dd, our fourth, is close to breaking me! I've always been a laid back parent, but with clear rules but dd shows no sign of bowing to any instruction at all.
Bedtime, at nearly three, involves hysterical screaming for a few hours in he own bed until we give up in the early hours and she joins me. I've tried techniques, mainlyconsistent expectations but she never cracked. Controlled crying was a no due to the level of her fight, her cot has serious dents from the headbutting and scratching when she was left a few times, she would injure herself before winding down.
I try now, in an adult bed, to sit at end calmly through the rage. It involves around ten mi ties of preventing her actually hitting or biting me or running off, then up to an hour of wild screaming then a period of glaring. It does impact on the other dc. I sit at the end so I'm out of reach but nearby. Progress is minimal, less actual hitting and no injury risk but still pretty unbearable.
She generally is wilful, where the others responded to love and boundaries easily she does not bend. She is speech delayed so I appreciate it is partly frustration, we use some makaton, but she still squeals an point for things a lot, fly in off in a rage if not given. She is also incredibly loving and adored by all in between this, she just cannot take direction well. She's hi too, some motor delay, generally immature and very little language to work with so verbal explanation is quite futile.
Can I ask for ideas for a way forward for bedtime from those who've got through it. My others I admit now we're very very easy. I really love her, but for her own good and other dc we need to at least tone it down. I don't think anyone in rl understands how after three standard issue children that we are really the place we are, I'm otherwise a happy mum and I know the hv saw me as such. I'm not bloody superwoman though!! I need sleep. I could cry over it.
So far I've tried:
Sheer bloody minded consistency, over an over calmly putting her back
New bedding
Room sharing
Staying nearby
Stroking ( the worst, she hits)
Reading/ dining (screams over)
Lots of love/ cuddles and special time to associAte with bedtime
hiding in the garden
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
to ask for bedtime help from those who've battled?
11 replies
flippingBell · 15/07/2015 21:29
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