To think Jeremy Forrest's Parents have no place taking about his ex-Wife to the press.

[CheshireDing]

The DM say today that they said "Emily was difficult to live with, they should never have married" and that they (the Parents) have maintained "dignity".

Clearly his marriage to Emily was obviously not perfect for him to have any kind of affair but why don't his Parents shut their mouths.

I honestly feel so sorry for Emily, her picture was in the papers in the beginning and now again today. Poor women, she's the one I feel sorry for.

[wowfudge]

I don't wish to be pedantic but Jeremy Forrest's wife is still married to him - she is not his ex-wife. Whatever was going on in his marriage does not excuse his sexual relationship with a child. He should have manned up and dealt with things instead of starting a relationship with a child. And driving a wedge between a girl and her mother.

[5madthings]

Outside of mnet anyone I know agrees he is a sexual offender who groomed a vulnerable child, is mm not sure how nuanced the debate should be or could be. What he did was wrong, there isn't much debate to be had about that.

[flippinada]

By the way I checked to see if the FB page referred to upthread is still there and it is.

[SauceForTheGander]

Yes innacorner. Two sides of the same coin

[flippinada]

Thanks Inn. I think cases like this throw an uncomfortable light onto how victims of this sort of crime are treated and raise all sorts of issues such as how they are reported in the news media, child protection...it's a murky area.

[Lazyjaney]

^^
Well hectored there, anyway.....

[Kiriwawa]

This is my first post on the subject lazeyjaney, I don't think I'm hectoring anyone.

I find it interesting (and totally connected to the general misogynist patriarchy) that so many women are keen to put his victim into the 'vile temptress' box. I think it's pretty laughable that you think your dismissal of the the court's ruling is 'nuanced'. I think it's risible.

[SauceForTheGander]

Baying mob is a bit harsh description.

[flippinada]

*about it.

[flippinada]

I think people are understandably angry at the attitude in some quarters of lets blame everyone except the person responsible.

Speaking personally, I feel very strongly about - that's probably quite clear from my posts.

Perhaps some of my opinions seem over the top, and if people think its unfair well that's ok, they are entitled to their opinion. Hopefully it will act as a balance to the prevailing, victim-blaming culture where women and girls are deemed to be responsible for men's behaviour.

So far I've read many posts saying that the girl's mother must have been doing something wrong;that her victim impact was selfish and she was probably neglectful (in fact there's a whole thread on it).

Then you read from that parents that the wife was difficult and demanding and made his life a misery. Oh, and in addition to that the girl involved was suicidal and it was all her idea anyway and he was just so caring you see...well, you get the picture.

[Lazyjaney]

"Do we (those who see this as a clear case of grooming and abuse) belong to a silent majority or Vocal minority?"

Outside the MN bubble (which is just a few people posting over and over really, and hectoring anyone who disagrees) views are far more nuanced, which is just as well as the issues are too.

[edam]

Nothern, there's nothing 'baying' about saying it is despicable of his family to encourage and unable under-age girls to write to him. Do you know about the Facebook page where they explain that the prison won't allow him to receive post from anyone under 18, and ask that under-18 year olds send the post to their house instead? Giving their home address?

They are soliciting under-age girls for a convicted sex offender. That makes them pretty darn reprehensible in my book.

[Wannabestepfordwife]

I think if anyone's husband had begun an emotional affair and was being distant they would be difficult to live with.

His wife is beautiful and I really hope that she can move on learn to trust again she really deserves some happiness. She has shown an incredible amount of dignity, grace and class.

When it comes to his family calling the girl manipulative, I struggled to manipulate my parents at her age let alone a grown man who should have known better.

[Northernlurker]

I absolutely agree that Forrest should take reponsibility for his choices and crimes. I simply don't relish a baying mob whether it's his parents or his wife or his employers as the targets.

[IJustWoreMyTrenchcoat]

His whole family seem very willing to excuse him don't they? Releasing the letter the girl wrote to them, blaming his wife because she was 'needy' and not here for him.

Apparently it was the schools fault, and the police for not confiscating his phone...

How about a grown man taking some responsibility for his actions? I bet he has never done a thing wrong in his whole life in their eyes.

[Kiriwawa]

Northern - his ex-wife isn't defending his behaviour. His family are. And of course he's been vilified. He's been convicted of abducting a child FFS

[flippinada]

" I'd think they would want to look a bit deeper at their son and maybe try and help him - not exonerate him from adult responsibilty"

Yes exactly Jamie.

[SauceForTheGander]

I'd be mortified. I wouldn't be selling my story to the press. They certainly should not be talking about his wife. As if she hasn't got enough to contend with.

But yes, there's only one criminal here.

[flippinada]

In addition to that they were quite happy to cite his wife's character failings in court and indeed highlight them as mitigation for their sons offence.

Now, whatever her personal failings might be - and we all have them - she is in no way responsible for her husband choosing to abduct an underage girl and take her to France, is she? Nobody could reasonably say she is.

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

"If I were his parents I'd be wondering what led him to have stalled at a juvenile state of development"


I said this earlier, and I do stand by it. Rather than blaming someone else, I'd think they would want to look a bit deeper at their son and maybe try and help him - not exonerate him from adult responsibilty

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

Northern

I get what you are saying, but really, they should shut up. They are displaying their own ignorance.

I don't think it's unreasonable, in the context of their words, to wonder why it is their son has a warped view of what constitutes a normal relationship. They think that their son's sexual attraction to several underage girls, and acting on it, is the fault of the cheated-on wife.

[flippinada]

I understand that his parents will want to defend him, of course they do. As you say, Northern no doubt they love him and it is a natural parental instinct to protect your child.

Now, having said that, I would have more sympathy for their view if they (or someone acting on their behalf) hadn't set up a fan page for their son (yes, it exists) on which young girls are being encouraged to write to JF in prison.

At least, I assume they support it as they have provided their address so letters can be sent to him as girls are not allowed to write to him directly.

This is publically available, by the way.