To tell my "friend" to piss off

[HotelTangoFoxtrotUniform]

I lost a fair bit of weight a few years ago (40lbs) and I have a friend, who I met as I was losing the weight, who seemingly has to remind me of how big I was (size 16), particularly that I was big on my wedding day. I don't understand why she has to bring it up all the time, particularly when she is substantially bigger than I am yet I wouldn't dream of calling her fat. Her most recent comment, looking at a picture of said wedding day, was that my tummy stuck out far farther than my boobs (it didn't). I just don't understand it.

She also criticises my grammar, which I think is normally quite good, today accusing me of corporate speak. Who fucking cares if I said something she deems "corporate" (evidently me).

WIBU to tell her to fuck off? She's not being particularly kind, which makes me feel shit, and she is currently staying with me (rent free) at weekends so she can keep her job in our city having moved hundreds of miles away to save money.

[BoomChicaBoom]

Finished! Good for you hotel, she's a nasty piece of work. Feel sorry for her that she obviously feels bad enough about herself to treat you in that way in order to make herself feel better.

Sorry, that was atrocious grammar but can't be arsed to edit.

Enjoy having your house back!

[BoomChicaBoom]

Whoopsy, didn't realise this thread had got 8 pages - I'll read it all now!

[BoomChicaBoom]

Two words for you - well jell...

[minouminou]

Hell yeah!
Imagine if she's an MNer?

Bahahahaaaaaah!!!!

[Mimishimi]

Please make sure to post any further amusing communications from her

[WhereYouLeftIt]

I'm another who seriously doubts that your tutor said that!

If anything, it does rather confirm her as a user. Most people assume that that they are 'normal' i.e. that everyone else is just the same as them. So nice people assume everyone is nice, unfaithful people accuse their partners of cheating on them, and users accuse their victims of using them. As she has tried to do.

[minouminou]

Four years after getting rid of mine I'm still getting the odd bit of hassle, but that's because we live in the same city and our sons go to the same school.

The only way to deal with her, I've found, is to totally ignore her. Having said that, though she's a bit more hardcore than yours.... Like, official complaints from different people/agencies about her hassling them.

[HotelTangoFoxtrotUniform]

Gosh it sounds like a fair few of you have had run ins with this kind of girl. How horrid. And thanks for the advice for what to expect next.

DH has the keys. Security took delivery so he didn't have to deal. Feel relieved. Looking forward to a QNI without a madwoman/toddler to deal with

[minouminou]

I also doubt it'll be the last you hear from her.
She'll give it a while, then you'll get a nasty message which borders on hysteria (brace yourself), which berates you and isn't quite rational. You'll listen to it, or read it, and realise that the things she's accusing you of are the things she does/is.

Then, a while later, you'll get a friendly approach, as if nothing's ever happened.

Ignore both.

[minouminou]

The tutor never said that.
She's projecting.

I'm up for sending one last reply, which tells her that you're going to check that statement out with the tutor, then leave it at that.

Wanker, wanker and thrice, WANKER.

[BergholtStuttleyJohnson]

yanbu. Tell her to piss off. She doesn't sound like much of a friend.

[FruminousBandersnatch]

Yes don't reply, just think of her checking her inbox anxiously.

She has NO shame! I also doubt the college tutor said that, it sounds like a game your friend was playing.

[WhiteShakette]

Good on you, Hotel. You're right not to reply, tempting though it is.

[InLoveWithDavidTennant]

what an utter selfish cowbag she is

good for you op, for deciding not to reply. i doubt this will be the last you hear from her anyway.

[HotelTangoFoxtrotUniform]

Much as its tempting to respond, she will come back as she will want to point out how right she is and how wrong I am - as she has during our "friendship" so I'll walk away now. I'll send thought vibes of what ERD said though - that's genius!

[diddl]

"I'm not sure either of us is very good for the other."

What a bitch!

She really can't see that she's at fault to any degree at all, can she?

[wheredidiputit]

You better person then me.

As I would be inclined to E mail back saying your right I only want people in my life who add to it. Not people who use my home like a hotel and treat me like something on the bottom of their shoe And reiterate that your keys need to be returned to your DH office by 5pm Friday night.

[StealthPolarBear]

yes - what ERD said

[EagleRiderDirk]

though how tempting is it to write back:

it does seem that way. you have obviously never been good for me and now I won't let you sponge off me, I'm no good for you

[digerd]

Bullies and sadists. She was nasty and you put up with her far too long.
Thank goodness you got rid of her.
Her last words were not in the least apologetic - just pompous- of course you were good for HER as she had used you mercilessly with no gratitude but abuse

[myroomisatip]

For what it is worth, IMO I doubt very much that the college tutor made that remark!

[EagleRiderDirk]

wow, what a complete arse. Well done you and knowing people who act like that I would imagine that person never did say that thing about you. some people can't form relationships without battering others down. That's Not your fault or problem at all.

[StealthPolarBear]

What a bloody cheek!

[Cherriesarelovely]

Just read entire thread. Bloody good for you OP! As another person who finds confrontation really hard I applaud you for speaking your mind and chucking her out. I have to say I think some people get a perverse pleasure from taunting others like this......oh yes, they are called bullies. Amazed at her gaul to do this while staying at your place. Well done anyway.

[HotelTangoFoxtrotUniform]

She responded - and you lot had me so intrigued as to what she would say I read it instead of deleting it. I'm not surprised she had to have the last word (these people generally do) and I will share it with you, along with my thoughts:

I'm not sure either of us is very good for the other.

I dread to think what she would say of me had I not helped her move house, provided free childcare, provided free accommodation, picked up the sodding bill all the time, let her treat me like a cat scratching post and all the other doormatty things I did.

Interestingly, when we hadn't seen each other for a while a couple of years ago (life got in the way) she mentioned that she said that she hadn't seen me to a mutual acquaintance (a college tutor who I met less than half a dozen times) whose response was "Well yes, Hotel drops people when she has got what she wants from them" as if I'm the bloody user! The irony.