Ok, maybe I am. Feel free to tell me I'm a bad tempered cow.
Ma and Pa, healthy, retired, comfortably off, seem to think that DH and I have lots of lovely time on our hands. And we could do all sorts of little jobs for them - far too frequently. Every couple of weeks Ma will ring and say, 'Oh - could you ask DH if he could pop down this weekend and do x,y,z for us?'
We have 5 DCs and both work full time. I'm a teacher - out the house from 7.45 am- 6.00pm and then marking/planning in evening. DH is up at 5.00am - 2 hour drive, 10 hours on building site, 2 hour drive home - gets in at 7.00pm, absolutely fucked. He has worked the last 3 Saturdays and is working tomorrow. So only has Sunday off. I meanwhile, have the joy of knowing that I haven't shoved a hoover round all week, bathrooms need cleaning, there is a week's worth of dirty washing (for 7) and that I need to do a bloody Tesco shop for practically everything.
Ma rang this evening to say could we pop round this weekend and put together 2 flat pack bookcases they bought today - oh, and could DH bring his drill and put up a curtain pole, and I could return a lamp they'd bought from Argos when I did my shopping, couldn't I?
Well yeah - I could. But I don't fucking want to. Ma will expect me to drive 6 miles in one direction to her house to collect the lamp. Tesco is on the edge of town 20 miles away in the opposite direction. Argos is right in the middle of town - so it means driving in, finding somewhere to park, walking there, queueing, etc, etc. A lot more fucking hassle. And I don't want to spend 3 hours putting book cases together. And I really don't want DH to spend his only day off doing jobs for my mother.
If the bugger's going to spend his day off doing jobs I've got a bloody long list - starting with things I've been waiting about 18 months for; like the leaking shower, the broken cupboard door, the wall in DDs room that needs re-plastering, the entire skirting board in the hallway that has been leaning against the wall for 4 years now waiting to be fixed onto it...
I know that DH will say, 'Aye, nae bother,' and go down and do it for them. And I will trail sulkily along as his helper. And if I moan he will say, 'Och well, it's no' a problem'. Well it is for me. I fucking, fucking resent the fact that my mother makes these frequent requests and expects it done that weekend - which means it is yet another weekend that we don't get the stuff done that we need to.
Being a gobby cow I have frequently told her I'm pissed off that she asks DH to do stuff - that she knows he is obliging and will say yes - and that she also knows what long hours he works, and that we have loads of stuff that needs doing. She just gives a merry laugh and says, 'Oh dear - men always do things for other people, don't they?' and then will be on the fucking phone about a fortnight later wanting something else.
(Dad, BTW, couldn't replace a lightbulb. Highly academic, completely impractical man)
AIBU?
To be fairly pissed off with my mother?
deleted203 · 10/05/2013 22:16
at Wuldric
You are correct! I am 6 miles down the road - rest of the siblings are scattered, but mostly a couple of hours drive away, at least. We're in North Lincs and nearest sibling (geographically) is Ginny who is in Sheffield. 2 are in N Yorkshire, 1 in Norfolk, 1 in London, 1 on South Coast and 1 is in South Africa.
Fife (home of DH) is looking good to me...(although his mother is a widow - and also a fucking nightmare. But he does have 4 other siblings in the same village - so we could share the DIY ).
Unfortunately I can't move DD2 half way through an A level course.
Your DM has winning ways by the sounds of it - on the pc playing bridge? Wonder if it was with my DB?
She has no conscience whatsoever 
and has successfully manipulated DD and her BF .< actually I would use the word conned>
You won't win, you know. She is very good at it and you can't change the minds of DD and her BF. They are indeed very thoughtful and altruistic teenagers. I admire them, but not your conniving/lazy DM.
Your parents are 74 and 76 - so really no spring chickens.
Bet your mother is feeling so contented at her success in getting what she wants, and you are furious that DD and BF are now exhausted and have exams next week. YANBU, she is.
Am exhausted just reading your post. Also slightly cringey from my whinging at DH I have too much to do (exam, job, 1 ds) Pails into comparison. Feeling very glass half full 
.
Good for you telling them to bugger off.
Good work OP. 
.
BTW I love the way you write your DH's accent. . I can hear it in my head. (He sounds like one of Terry Prachetts Wee Free Men but presumably without the 'drink'in, theive'in and fight'in ' )
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I suppose you couldn't suggest sheltered accommodation if they're finding it difficult to cope?
I do truly think they forget how hard it is!
My own DM was judging away about these mothers who go out to work and leave their kids, then end up on ADs to cope (I wonder if you can guess her daily reading matter ).
She had genuinely forgotten that she sent us to our Gran while she worked in a high street shop.
Nor did she appreciate me reminding her of that famous 60's Rolling Stones hit 'Mother's Little Helper' ("Singing about Smarties, then, was he??!")
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