AIBU to think I can touch my DP?

[TinyDancingGirl]

DP and I have been together for 4 years. We like to be touching, even sitting side by side eating, I'll put a foot next to his under the table and we always hold hands.

Some of our friends say things like, 'you're going to run away you can stop holding hands now.' or 'Awwww isn't that sweet?' in a way that says they really don't think so. Are we the only ones who do this?

AIBU? What is appropriate affectionate behaviour between a couple in public?

[Lueji]

There you are.
You are a miserable old bat. :)

Let them be.

[OrangeLily]

I hold hands or have my feet tucked under his leg if we are sitting on a sofa. Mainly because he's warm

What's the issue with a joint email address ??? We've had one since before we were married. Really useful for invitations/bills/shopping!!!

[AgentZigzag]

And what's wrong with being bitter and miserable may I ask??

[TinyDancingGirl]

It was a reverse AIBU. My friends do this and it irritates the hell out of me but I didn't want to come across as a bitter miserable old bat although I probably am

[crashdoll]

I know a couple who do this and it seems like a declaration of "LOOK WE ARE TOGETHER AND IN LOVE" which is ridiculous because we are your friends, so we know. It comes across as possessive.

OP, YANBU unless it is grosser than you are describing i.e. slobbery loud kisses.

[Madmum24]

one meal they alternated courses sitting on each others laps - DH made a quip about our dining chairs being made for one and thy were most offended!

this really made my day!!!!

There is a difference between people doing it naturally and this "I need to constantly squeeze your hand whilst you simultaneously rub my back in order to feel secure". I have a family member who does this with her husband, they are in their 30's and seemingly normal but when the two of them are together they look like they have PTSD from the way they behave.

[mrsjay]

they are indeed! We once saw them on the street (we were on a bus) and she was feeding him.

Bleurgh really

[mrsjay]

No heavy petting when you go swimming then mrsj

snigger do people even heavy pett these days agentzigzag

[RatPants]

I like it when you see elderly couples wandering round holding hands. That is sweet. Wouldn't be as keen to see them heavy petting though.

[bettycocker]

I'm friends with a couple who are very touchy feely with each other, not in a sexual way though. I hate public displays of affection for myself, but I think it's really sweet that they are so affectionate in public.

If they started tounging each other I would have to chuck cold water over them!

[Binkyridesagain]

TeWi, no she didn't, the seperated because he decided the relationship had run its course. Maybe she started to smell funny.

[MagratOfStolat]

I hold my DP's hand A LOT. But that's because I'm quite a nervous, agitated, twitchy sort of person anyway - I have energy even when I'm knackered, and I always have to be doing something with my hands.

It also greatly helped when we were visiting people with newborn DS and my OCD had reoccurred, so I gripped his hands to stop me from fiddling with other peoples' items and organizing them!

But I agree with most of the people on here - full-blown making out is just BAD, but if you're comfortable holding hands/footresting/issing goodbye, why on earth shouldn't you?!

[TeWiSavesTheDay]

Eww Binky. Did she LTB?

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

TeWi

True, if it is at the expense of other people then it is a bit rude.

[HotSoupDumpling]

What MrsTheroux said.

I know a couple who wrap themselves round each other on the sofa when they come for dinner. Knee stroking, kissing, etc. Not appropriate in someone else's house, unless you are 18 and don't know any better!

[TeWiSavesTheDay]

It's not necessarily too much, but it is a bit odd. Couples living together get loads of private time to have non-stop touching sessions in.

If you are out with friends/family it's polite to seem more engaged with them than your OH, imo.

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

Touching fine, lovely in fact

snogging, or repeated noisy pecks. AAAAArgh

i sat behind a couple on the bus the other say - she kept doing noisy squelchy kisses on his neck. Gives me rage in a way I don't quite understand.

[Fairydogmother]

My fiancé and I regularly hold hands, sit close with an arm round etc.

But nobody needs to see full on snogging and constant pawing at each other! The OP doesn't sound like she's doing that tho.

Have to say that I used to rib my friend who always said 'love you' to her husband. But then I realised I was in a loveless marriage and left. Now we always say that to each other and I couldn't be happier. I think people are sometimes jealous when they see people who are clearly v happy together.

[TumbleWeeds]

I am a bit at the fact some people think holding hands or a hand on the knee is 'too much'.

If that means that the 2 persons can NOT be wo being next to each other or touching each other, yes I can see how other people can end up feeling excluded.
But holding hands whilst talking to others? Putting a hand on your partner knee from time to time? What's wrong with that?

[Binkyridesagain]

Please don't ever do what my SIL and her now ExP used to do in front of anybody, it was never out in public though (as far as I'm aware)

He would snuggle up behind her, then stick his hands down the front of her knickers, ferret around for a bit then take his hand out and have a sniff, comment and have another go. She never refused him entry or told him to get off. It was vile.

[Panzee]

Just don't put your hands in each other's back pockets. That's weird. :o

[shellbu]

id much rather see a couple who hugged and kissed ,than an arguing couple who shout and swear and cause a scene , that makes me cringe .

[Jestrin]

My husband always holds my hand and we have a kiss when out but not a full on snog as that might be inappropriate IMHO.

The other week, a complete stranger came up to us and said that she thought it was lovely to see a married couple holding hands.

[MrsLouisTheroux]

Holding hands whilst walking down a street, a quick hug, arm round shoulder is fine but playing footsie at a dinner table, sitting on laps, constant hand on knee, arm, shoulder is irritating for anyone else.

We had a couple of friends who did this and the rest of us teased them mercilessly. We weren't couples but one time we all paired up and 'snuggled' and petted each other all night. Our friends looked quite confused as THEY were the 'couple' . By joining forces physically, they made themselves stand out from the crowd. As we were all at it, they blended into the background and funnily enough, we saw very little canoodling that night.
I think some people feel stronger when joined at the hip with their partner. It's a sign of insecurity, is exclusive and rude because it doesn't take account of others in the room.

[Morloth]

DH and I have been together for a very long time now.

We still hold hands if walking along, still sit next to each other if there is the option. I will sit on his lap if there are no other seats etc.

He is nice, I like to be with him. People can think whatever they like, is no skin off my nose.