Royal broadcast with humour. Not Gabby Logan or Dimbleby. (they want to keep their jobs.)

[GabbyLagoon]

I have a good imagination; so I dont have to wait until Friday. Formal occasions lack humour; because broadcasters are afraid of the top brass. I cant loose my job Here goes, the ref has blown his whistle . their off....

" Its a blustery fine day outside the Abby. The big cars are starting to arrive. Out steps David Camerooney in his frock coat. To be fair to the PM it is more like a coat than a frock......

Elton John is runnag across the frontage. He shouts to the crowd "I am
still standing.". A wag shouts back " you will be sitting next to a foreign dictator,Elton." He chuckles and gallops towards the big doors."

Who is this? Its richard Branson , hes turned up in a Smart car. Security
have a word with him.....The police are controlling the crowd with a light touch....only one tazering.

This is amazing, a pitbull type dog is trying to have a pee against a parked Daimler. Security move in at a tremendous speed. Sections of the crowd
start woof-woofing. They are clearly dog lovers. Hope the dog does not do a number 1.....

Gabby Logan and the 5-Live crowd are here in force. Gabby is wearing
a pinkish tight-fitting gown with a cloche hat. Richard Bacon is dressed informally; string tie and suede shoes....enough about them.

Rumours are flying about Kates frock. It is said to be green, and more like a dress than the Prime Ministers frock coat.

A security man approaches me. Says where are you from Sir...I reply
Mumsnet my man...he trembles and walks away. Wife and 3 kids to support. Bless him.

An enormous car arrives....Ed Miliband pops out. Stroking his nose tenderly. Some in the crowd smile and wave. Ed waves back...and disappears. (MI5, I suppose.)

Its starting to rain just a shower. William Winsor pops out and shouts "Chaps and chappesses we are suspending the event until the shower passes."

I reach for my flask pleased of the break. No sweat , its only a shower...
Normals service will be resumed

Gabby Lagoon Mumsnet poster breaking for vittles

[GabbyLagoon]

Well, Vaj. Yours compares unfavourably with my effort.

Gabby comments. VajazzHands; must work harder. I see potential talent in his one word post.

[VajazzHands]

yabu