Is my friend too far gone?

[bobbycock79]

My friend began regular binge drinking around a year ago after a relationship breakdown. This progressed to daily heavy drinking around 5 months ago. She subsequently lost her job, got caught drink driving and her children were removed by SS to their father after she collapsed drunk whilst looking after them. Her family were initially supportive and she underwent medical detox in hospital but relapsed almost straightaway. She recently managed to stay dry for nearly 6 weeks and was looking so much better and was allowed more regular contact with her kids.
However last week she relapsed again. Was taken to hospital but discharged herself, found wandering the streets drunk covered in blood. Her parents have refused to help this time and her ex says he has to prioritize kids.
I have been checking in on her and she is drinking over litre of vodka a day and barely eating. House is filthy.
She is supposed to be weaning herself off with (virtual) support of a turning point volunteer as otherwise may have seizures. But clearly she is just drinking herself to death at the moment. Is there anything I can do? She knows she is an alcoholic but seems powerless to stop herself. It's all happened so quickly. A year ago she barely drank. She has lots of withdrawal medication in the house but isn't taking it. I'm scared I will find a body next time i go around.

[Nothingsfine]

@BoodleBug51

My uncle was an alcoholic. Even when he was in the end stages of liver failure, in hospital and so bloated/yellow he was unrecognisable, he was still begging for drink. He died aged 45, leaving two young children behind with a very angry widow.

For some, there is no bottom...........

Exactly

[LividLaVidaLoca]

My mum is in this position.

She doesn’t want to stop enough.

Not being able to do anything and having to detach is horrendous.

[BoodleBug51]

My uncle was an alcoholic. Even when he was in the end stages of liver failure, in hospital and so bloated/yellow he was unrecognisable, he was still begging for drink. He died aged 45, leaving two young children behind with a very angry widow.

For some, there is no bottom...........

[bobbycock79]

Thanks for your thoughts. It definitely helps. I did speak to an AA advisor who said it sounds like she's just not ready to stop . If this isn't rock bottom I don't know what is really. Maybe a near death experience. I will speak to AA again though maybe hear another advisors thoughts.

[eliybetty]

I am a member of AA and I have seen worse of than your friend recover in the rooms of AA. If you Google AA you will find a number you can ring, you will be able to speak with someone who is in recovery from addiction and can advise you what if anything you can do to help your friend

[Nothingsfine]

My ex can't get sober for our kids. There's a reason people die from liver failure and it's that alcohol dependence is so all consuming, the person can't hope to stop unless they are very determined. They know they are killing themselves with every drink but they can't stop. There are different levels of addiction but once it becomes a physical dependency and not just habitual it is so difficult to fight.
I think you have to weigh up how much time you are willing to spend trying to support someone who may well never get sober.

[Verbena87]

I suspect she needs to see for herself that she really is a lost cause before she can decide for herself to stop. Although she still might not decide.

Agree though that if she can’t get sober for her kids then she can’t because anyone else thinks she should either. It needs to come from her.

[bobbycock79]

Thank you Boodlebug . I guess I just don't understand how she can be expected to get from where she is now i.e. drunk all day everyday to sober without any help. support worker has confirmed she cannot just stop drinking and needs to wean down slowly but how can an alcoholic do it by themselves without supervision? Last time she had her family. Maybe I'm wrong and if she had more determination she could do it. I think I just need to know if she's a lost cause before I take a step back. It's all so sad.

[BoodleBug51]

As awful as this is, she's the only one who can do this.

You have to decide if you want a front row seat or to view from a safe distance.

If losing her kids hasn't pulled her back from the brink, I honestly doubt that anything will