Sad

[ncsad]

Oh god. I need to stop drinking.

I feel so sad today. How is this my life. I hate myself

[tonystarksrighthand]

OP how are you doing?

[Msfoxy17]

Hope you are ok, OP? I think there are so many of us in a similar position. You only need look at the number of threads about alcohol to see this.
I've lurked on a fair few of them over the last year but am only this year actually trying to tackle this (Jan was dry apart from 2 evenings so a massive improvement on last year...)
Hope things get better for you. The Leave Alcohol behind thread is massively inspiring.

[Pomegranatemolasses]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4117520-Leave-alcohol-behind-and-re-learn-your-life-The-freedom-thread

[Mumwithissue]

How can I access the Dry thread?

[Mumwithissue]

I so get you

[Mumwithissue]

I feel the same. I have had problems with alchohol in the past, went through the first quarantine without a sip, and now I am all over the place. I do not know what to do.

[Mumwithissue]

Me too

[ncsad]

Oh god I can't even imagine a sober wedding! I'm very socially awkward anyway, alcohol just about helps me to manage to socialise. Argh. I'm going to have to work on that.

[FastFood]

Special events are a bit...I won't say hard, but dull at first, until the next morning when you're the only one waking up without a hangover.

The first night out was ok but I wasn't as relaxed as if I had a drink.
The second one was better. The third one ever better and so on.

I realised something very important after 6 months (would have happened before if we didn't have a lockdown): social events are fun because of people, not because of alcohol. We just rely on alcohol to make us comfortable and approachable, but we can get there without alcohol, it just requires a bit of training.

Recently, I've been to a wedding abroad, I don't even remember me not drinking, I remember the food, the decor, seeing my friends, having fun, dancing (didn't know I would dance sober one day!) making the bride cry with my speech etc...

Now I can say that special events are 10x better, because I approach them from a place where i know I won't be the drunk drama queen, I won't embarrass myself, I won't lose my phone, I won't wake up wondering what I've done etc...
I'm just way more relaxed before, during and after the event.

[ncsad]

Thank you for your messages, I'm feeling a bit better. DH is on his way home and I'm dying for a big hug.

That's amazing that you've done a year. I've hit a point where I think I know I have to stop completely. I obviously can't drink like a normal person. I just can't. Did you find Christmas and special occasions hard?

[FastFood]

Hey OP, how are you feeling now?
It's okay if you have a crying day in bed.

I remember when I was 21, I had a chat with a very nice homeless man and he told me that he had liver disease (due to alcohol) so he couldn't drink anymore.
I was so scared that one day I would be the one who couldn't drink anymore, I imagined a life of deprivation, restriction, no more fun etc...

Last year, I decided to do Dry January and kept going and here I am, sober for over a year now.
I was so wrong about what a life without alcohol would look like. Not at all.the boring dull life i imagined when I was 21. Quite the opposite.
And overall, no more crippling anxiety, no more shame, minor embarassement at worse, but without beating myself up for hours.
I seriously feel like I'm finally managing my brain.

Just to say that if you decide to stay sober, what awaits you can be absolutely fantastic.

Take care x

(Ps: Was a binger like you, no daily urge but no off switch either)

[GalOopNorth]

Find ways to be kind to yourself.
Get a coffee (if you like it), get on Amazon and order a couple of books 📚
Crying is fine. Maybe write it all down to look back at in a year when your life has changed!

[ncsad]

Please keep talking to me, I'm in such a state.

[ncsad]

My DH is at work, but he's wonderful and supportive.

[Scbchl]

Do you have anyone with you for support?

[ncsad]

I'm a complete mess, just crying hysterically

[ncsad]

Thank you. I'll download some books today.

I don't even think I can get out of bed right now.

[Smiledwiththerisingsun]

Today is a new day @ncsad
Please be kind to yourself.

Some suggestions:
Order some sober reading?
The Sober Diaries
Love Yourself Sober
The Unexpected Joy of being Sober
Sign up to all the supportive sober communities/ blogs/ pages. Just read all about people who have stopped & how they did it.
Look after yourself.
Walk in the sunshine.
Do some yoga.
Take a bath.
Make delicious food.
Drink tea.
Watch a film.
Nap (if possible)
Go to bed early.

Forgive yourself & move on towards looking after you

[ncsad]

I'm just a mess

[ncsad]

I drank a litre of whisky last night

[ncsad]

Thank you

[ncsad]

I don't drink every day at all, I just get completely ruined when I do

[ncsad]

I can go about 2 weeks dry and then just binge

[Lobsterquadrille2]

Hi OP, I've been a 24/7 drinker. I could wake at any time of the day or night and reach for the bottle. I hated drinking and yet couldn't imagine stopping. I felt fear, isolation, despair and could see no future. I have been sober for 13 years, but I still recall how I felt then. The journey starts with a single step - of a day at a time seems too much, think of the next hour. A whole new life awaits you, free of the mental anguish that alcohol brings (your life issues will be there still, but you will be much better equipped to deal with them).

[GalOopNorth]

How much are you drinking?