Didn't get anything for Mother's Day

[littlese]

DH didn't get me anything for Mother's Day, not even a card. When I asked him about it, he said the kids had made me cards from nursery and when he asked what I wanted I didn't say anything.

Just a card and a wish would have been nice. I'm so disappointed and upset I don't even know what to say

[Toughsteak]

@littlese

I wanted my husband to appreciate me, the mother of his children

Make a mental note for Father's Day...

[AHungryCaterpillar]

Crazy that someone resurrected this thread as if there isn’t already a million threads on this topic! Glad you had a better one this year op

[littlese]

Hi , this thread is a year old! Not sure why it got revived!
In any case, I spoke to DH last year and he didn't realise it meant a lot to me so he then went with the kids to get me a card and flowers.

This year, I've got cards from the kids and 2 gifts and will have a nice roast dinner, so all is good.
I suppose communication is key!

[timeforchampagne]

So you didn’t do much for him and he asked you what to get you and you didn’t say anything

if you aren’t happy talk to him and communicate like an adult rather than bitch on mumsnet

[Ilovelurchers]

I do take your point OP - I am not with my dd's dad any more but he still took her shopping to ensure she had chocolates, flowers and a card to give me today.

However, I do know that not all men (or women) see mother's day as a big deal. It's unlikely your husband has done this deliberately to hurt and slight you - he has probably just taken you literally when you failed to inform him of what you wanted (I understand that you probably didn't give him a list because you prefer a surprise, but not everyone would see it like that).

So rather than getting upset, the best thing is to try and talk to him calmly about it - without sounding massively critical and provoking a row, you could explain that, although you are sure he didn't mean to be hurtful, you were a bit upset and that another year you would love it if helped the kids buy you some flowers/make you breakfast in bed/ whatever.

An even halfway decent bloke will try his best to take that on board if it is expressed politely and kindly. If he isn't a decent bloke to this extent, then sadly you have bigger problems than a missed mother's day....

And at least you got the homemade cards - it may not feel like much right now, but it will be something to treasure in future years as your kids get older.....

[SerafinasGoose]

@Lampzade

Just realised this is an old thread.

Damn. This one got me too - but bearing in mind the day I guess that's understandable.

I've been 'zombied' so many times I usually check the date these days, but still get caught by one or two.

[SerafinasGoose]

@MrsBertBibby

My teen isn't out of bed yet. It's my first year of not doing one for my mum, she died a month ago.

I could really use a bit of fuss, tbh.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your mum @MrsBertBibby. It does make this day particularly hard: for several years after my mum died I would pass the Hallmark stands full of cards and want to kick them over.

Since having my own DC the day is still bittersweet.

Thinking of my mum and all those who have lost their own beloved mothers today

PS. Teens are arseholes, it's the age group most notorious for selfishness. I'm ashamed to say I was no exception, but as adults my mum and I were the best of friends. They come back.

[Oblomov23]

You did get cards though? From nursery. That would be enough for me.

[Lampzade]

Just realised this is an old thread.

[Lampzade]

I think that so many posters are fixated on Mother’s Day because they don’t feel appreciated by their dh and/or dcs

My dh has not bought me a card, flowers or a present . He doesn’t buy me anything on Valentine’s Day either This doesn’t bother me because he is a brilliant father/ husband and constantly buys me gifts ( as I do him ) , takes me out and shows his appreciation throughout the year.

Some posted need to have some serious conversations with their husbands ..

[Fayrazzled]

@Knowivedonewrong

Mother's Day is a load of old shite, as is Father's Day. You got lovely handmade cards from your kids. Be happy with that.

Why should she be happy with that? I’m always surprised at the low level of expectation many women have on here of the men in families. No, the OP is not her husband’s mother, but she is the mother of his children. It would be nice if he could acknowledge that in a small way and thank her and show his appreciation for all she does. Similarly, as other posters have said, children have to be taught how to show their appreciation and gratitude.

I understand it is trickier for single mums. But it’s not a race to the bottom. Perhaps other adults around them can help their children out? I have a friend who is a single mum- I checked in with her kids to see if they needed help organising something for their mum. It’s just about a little thoughtfulness and kindness all round.

[Mumsanetta]

@littlese you’re being gaslit by some of the people on this thread. I walked past a barbers a few years ago with a placard that said “Fathers, you reap what you sow. Make an effort for Mothers Day” with the hashtag “fathersdayiscoming. It made me laugh but I also think it’s true. Replicate your husband’s effort for Fathers Day but for now, shrug it off and make a fuss of your children. Remind them that it’s Mothers Day and tell them that you would like them to think of ways to show you that they love you - then make some suggestions such as cuddles, kisses, flowers and a slice of cake - and take them out to buy you daffodils and get cake in a coffee shop. Don’t bother inviting your DH along if he will spoil it for you but make a very clear point to him that this is what he should have done.

[TwoHedgehogs]

This is from last year... just noticed, I wonder what op got this year 🤔😆?

[TwoHedgehogs]

Unless you are his mother why would he get you a card? Fine him getting one when the kids are babies if it really matters to you, but once your kids reach the age where they make you a card themselves there's no need to have husband's buying wives cards. I want hand made tat from my kids, not a Clinton's card and some sort of present from my husband. You are confusing your birthday with mother's day.

[PrinceHaz]

Life’s too short to be with thoughtless people. I was in M and S yesterday and there were dads with little children getting them to choose flowers they thought mum would like.
Sone men do this as a matter of course and will make a few others tweaks to make your day soecial.
Other men just don’t, and it’s not because Mother's Day is a Clinton cards day, it’s because they’re selfish and lazy on this day and on all other days of the year.

[Woeismethischristmas]

I think homemade card and breakfast in bed is standard. Regardless of presents he should encourage the children to appreciate you and all that you do today.

[Shoxfordian]

He sounds useless
Is he this rubbish at other occasions as well?

[LuckySantangelo35]

@Knowivedonewrong

Mother's Day is a load of old shite, as is Father's Day. You got lovely handmade cards from your kids. Be happy with that.

Women are always being told to be happy with their lot, to put up and shut up, aren’t they?

As a mum to two small children, Op wanted to be made a fuss over- nothing wrong with that.

Husband sounds a lazy shit

[Caramac555]

I'm off to buy myself some chocolate and flowers in a bit, might get a matching handbag too. Got a card off the kids. He does step up with the big stuff though, so I'll let it go. I really don't think many mums get an Instagram ready mothers day.

[littlese]

@MrsBertBibby sorry to hear that ❤️

[littlese]

@dollydimple123 cheers to you too.
I've left him to the kids today as well for me

[dollydimple123]

OP I get where your coming from. When you work hard and never put yourself first it's nice to be shown a little effort for 1 day of the year!

Especially if like me you always make the effort on Father's Day etc.

Nothing for me either OP I'm just gonna sit in the garden, drink wine and leave the kids to DH. Serves him right lol

[MrsBertBibby]

My teen isn't out of bed yet. It's my first year of not doing one for my mum, she died a month ago.

I could really use a bit of fuss, tbh.

[Knowivedonewrong]

Mother's Day is a load of old shite, as is Father's Day. You got lovely handmade cards from your kids. Be happy with that.

[littlese]

@NeedleNoodle3 thank you. I will definitely just enjoy the rest of the day with the children