DS has spent £thousands on xbox live. Can anyone help?

NameChangedCosShame · 2021-05-03 13:14:50

Fucking hell. I'm reeling. DS (13) has been having a hard time lately. Struggled badly with lockdown, missed his friends, puberty hit, family bereavement, lots of 'in home' massive and tox arguments happening - it's been tough. Like lots of people, we cut him some slack and let him game far more than we normally would. He's naturally sweet, cuddy, honest, warm blah blah, and that didn't change. We noticed that we was slightly withdrawn but despite checking in with him, I got nothing concrete so put it down to hormones, lockdown and all of the factors above. We've just had a payment rejected to went on line to check credit card balance and he has spent over £6K on xbox (mostly FIFA) across three months. He denied it for about an hour, but once DH told him that he was going to claim it back from barclaycard as fraud, and that they would look into it, he broke down and said it was him but he had lost all perspective on how much it was, he got sucked in and he didn't know how to stop. He is clearly ashamed - has been crying all weekend, and keeps saying he has broken the family and betrayed us all - and he has a bit.... His Dsis is gutted. They are super close and she is so careful because she knows we've had money worries - lockdown has not been kind to us financially - and she feels betrayed by him. DH feels like he has been punched in the stomach. He comes from a family where addiction and betrayal have impacted him via his mother and his sister - he went no contact and is the most honourable person I know. Him and DS are really close and this has destroyed him. I feel weird. I should be raging but I just feel worried - this level of deceit and lack of care around money is so out of character I can't tell you. He swears no one else is involved but has admitted he felt 'addicted'. He just keeps asking what he can do to fix it. He has obviously lost his phone and xbox and he said he feels a bit 'relieved' about the xbox. I need advice on two counts really: How to deal with this emotionally? And is there any chance of getting any of the money back? I am shocked at how easily he could spend - there was one day where he spent £1200 on FIFA points. We accept it is our responsibility as a family and his responsibility not Microsofts, but still, it feels too easy. He said they keep offering deals and 'packs' which are a bit like panini cards - you don't know what you are going to get so elements of gambling I suppose... I'm rambling. Any advice please. We're all shellshocked.

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The OP asked us to take this thread down due to privacy concerns. Thanks to everyone who gave advice and support.