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Is anyone else just not losing their shit over Christmas?

142 replies

Undercoverbanana · 13/12/2018 12:38

Just that really.

No decs - can’t be bothered. Gave up doing cards years ago. Don’t buy crap and plastic tat for people. Refuse to be manipulated by things I don’t want just because they’ve got holly on them.

I’m quite content with life. I’m just jogging along. Everyone else seems to be losing their shit over stuff.

One friend panicking over money. Another friend having family rows about who is visiting who and when. Another couple “have no time at this time of year - so many commitments that we don’t really enjoy”. Christmas work parties - why????? Just don’t go if you don’t want to.

Anyone else opting out?

OP posts:
Orangeblossom1976 · 13/12/2018 12:50

I'm doing the minimum. Feels a bit of a relief

Undercoverbanana · 13/12/2018 12:52

Orangeblossom - how lovely to hear from someone likeminded. Are your friends and family onboard or are they pushing you into “enforced fun”?

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 13/12/2018 12:54

I'm the same as you OP. No decorations, cards or Christmas tat here either. No presents either. I usually dread Christmas because of travelling and family stuff and expectations but DP and I are staying home this year (no kids). We're doing a nice roast chicken dinner on Christmas Day, getting plenty of cheese and fizz and chocolates in, and having a week and a half off work with no pressure. I'm actually looking forward to it this year.

And I politely declined the Christmas work do. There are very few people at work that I actually want to spend time with, and those that I do, I see anyway because we're friends. It's tonight and I'm so relived I'm not going

Titsywoo · 13/12/2018 12:57

Sort of. I do have decorations up as we all love them but it wasn't a big stress. All Xmas stuff is organised neatly in the loft. Xmas presents were all bought online (I just do dh, dc and the family coming for lunch). We're not doing a big thing on Xmas day just chilling at home. I dont find any of it a big deal and I never go mad with spending.

isseywithcats · 13/12/2018 12:59

ive got the tree up
bought most of the pressies last few and wrapping paper this sunday
ordered my beef and pork to pick up on christmas eve
going aldi to get the goodies type foods and booze this sunday
normal food shopping ie veggies etc, from aldi
and ready made puddings from iceland next sunday
as im working christmas eve, and boxing day i have just got it organised without stressing

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 13/12/2018 13:00

I’m a sort of too.....

I feel the temptation to have things get on top of me, and can see how very easily I’m only one or two things away from OMG STRESSSSSSS but I’ve resisted the urge to “do” anything I absolutely don’t have to and I’m lucky in that DH is onside and isn’t a big puffy wuffy WOO ITS CHRISTMAS person either.

It’s one day. ONE DAY. And I’m instilling that in the children too as much as poss (they are 2 and 1!)

thetemptationofchocolate · 13/12/2018 13:01

I've been teetering on the brink this year, of a deep depression. I can't cope with anything else so our Christmas is going to be very quiet this year too.

Mrskeats · 13/12/2018 13:01

I don't really get the whole stressed thing about christmas.
Pressies ordered (mostly online)
Marks and Spencer's have done the dinner mostly
Tree done by oldest dd
It's not that hard

cowfacemonkey · 13/12/2018 13:09

I have a tree because I do love my tree and it looks nice! I don't do cards and have asked people not to send them as I hate the clutter. I've streamlined our gift giving a lot so not masses to buy for (we do get punished a bit by DH's family for not joining in with adult presents).

No teacher/dog walker/childminder/club leader/secret santa token gifts.

DC's have a couple of nice gifts that I know they will love and use and won't clutter up my house. No tat filled stocking fillers as they are having homemade hampers this year instead and instead of lots of gifts we have bought Merlin passes for us all, so a years worth of days out.

We're not having a works Christmas do instead we're having a nice lunch out in February when everyone is truely bored and fed up of winter.

cowfacemonkey · 13/12/2018 13:12

Hope you manage to pull back from that depression thetemptationofchocolate, have been there myself recently and am in a better place now. Keeping life simple helps! Flowers

Undercoverbanana · 13/12/2018 13:13

thetemptationofchocolate - so sorry to hear you are struggling. Your health is far more important that lots of plastic tat and wastefulness. I hope you have a restful and peaceful time and a chance to recharge.

I’ll be going for a long run on Christmas Day.

OP posts:
Sitranced · 13/12/2018 13:23

Presents done - none We won't be buying a tree artificial or otherwise because I've got a real one in the garden and I think the remaining apples look better than glittery baubles and tinsel. The fairy lights stay up all year round. Alcohol cupboard is well stocked and fancy chocolates bought. Just need to grab a box of mince pies on the next shop and we're done. Christmas is easy.

Fatted · 13/12/2018 13:26

Do you have school age children OP? Personally I'd opt out of a lot of the school related shite, like five million nativity plays, carole concerts and Christmas fairs. But then I'll be branded a terrible parent.

The rest of it I don't mind because I'm choosing what to put up, how much to buy and to have no family round!

MaidenMotherCrone · 13/12/2018 13:31

No stress here either. There will be a tree next week. (just have to throw it down from the loft)
Gifts for the few I buy for are sorted.
I’ll get some treats when I do the weekly shop.
Baking/Cooking with my excellent assistant (DS2 22) on Christmas Eve is a joy.
Nice roast on the day.
Zero stress, tat free.

DiaryofWimpyMum · 13/12/2018 13:34

I put the tree up then my mum came up to mine and seen I had hidden some lights which had got into a knot so I hid it under tinsel 😂 anyway she stripped the tree back and did it again.

I hadn't bought cards so again I was with my mum and she had lots so she persuaded me to write cards.

I've not got a lot of money but I'm going to buy her a present next week. I've bought for my nieces and nephews my 2 can have money in an envelope. I can't be arsed this year. No point in stressing

shiveringtimber · 13/12/2018 13:36

Sort of. I have two DC, ages 15 & 18. DD has her last exam in a few hours, DS finishes school at the end of next week. Their father (my XH) lives abroad and doesn't want to have the children this year, even though it's his turn. But that's another story.

My mum had a stroke at the end of October. Her respiratory health was dangerously compromised. She's recovered but she's definitely "different". My dad, who suffered massive heart failure last January, is now in hospice. He's very, very frail. So Christmas will be entirely different and probably sad this year.

So far I've brought up the advent wreath with its four candles and we light one more each Sunday. But no decs, no carols or Christmas music, no lights and no tree. No pressies either. I'll make an effort this weekend, I guess, but my heart's not into it. Last Christmas was the first without DP, which was very hard, but the DC and I and my sisters' families all joined our parents for the usual Christmas dinner and night over.

This year, it will be just me and the DC. This is the first time we've ever spent Christmas "alone" and I don't quite know what to do.

AnotherPidgey · 13/12/2018 13:39

I have DCs, we do presents, decorations, Christmas Dinner etc, but it is quite pain free. Extended family are doing their own things this year, whether we are seeing them or not, we have a good time.

I enjoy the school performances etc, it's genuine and lovely to see my DCs doing something done for generations.

I have a box of decorations mustered up over 15 or so years. I enjoy pulling them out like old friends. I'm putting them up gradually.

Christmas dinner is just a roast dinner with a few extra trimmings. Admittedly, I'm not catering en-masse, but I can't get into a tizz over it, even though I rarely do roasts.

Buying presents is streamlined down to mainly children. I'm not working myself up over budgets etc, just something that I think people will like. My own DCs are complicated slightly by simulataneously sorting DS's birthday which is a bit extra to think of, particularly in keeping a fair spread of birthday, DS1, DS2.

I don't get hung up on "traditions". Each year we play by ear. Just because we did it last year, we aren't obliged to do it on repeat ad infinatum.

Plan the Christmas you are content with, whether it's minimal, the works or something in between. Smile (I accept that other people in the equations may have other, more complicating ideas...)

Doyoumind · 13/12/2018 13:43

I felt like that before becoming a mum and I'm sure I will once I'm left living alone again but when you have young DC you need to make an effort for them.

Luxembourgmama · 13/12/2018 13:43

I don't do anything i don't really want to do. So we have some christmas decorations and i'll make a lunch because i want to but minimal presents because i can't be arsed. I feel no obligation to do anything if someone else wants something then they can do it.

goingonabearhunt1 · 13/12/2018 13:45

I don't get the big stress either. But then again my family never made a massive deal about it either so every year I'm mystified by all the panic/spending.

We do small gifts for close family only (small family so that makes the list short). With some people we have arrangement to do no presents.

I do cards and tree but only because I like doing them and I only send about 10 cards anyway so doesn't take long. I like to decorate the tree with a glass of mulled wine Grin

We buy most of the dinner ready-made from M&S with vouchers collected in the year (bday, DP's work present etc.) and we just stay home the 2 of us. When we tell people this they always act like we must be the selfish people on earth though so I have come to the conclusion that a lot of people just like to martyr themselves. A lot of this stuff, you can just opt out of. But I don't have DC so maybe it's different if you do.

Oblomov18 · 13/12/2018 13:45

I do a little bit. But totally calmly. Always have done.

Decorations are up, fake tree is up, lights outside are up.

we had our family Christmas party at the weekend - we have a huge family, so have to have it early. Ds1 and Ds2 have 24 cousins. That was lovely.

We will have a roast.

Dh and I have bought the ds's presents and they are wrapped under the tree already.

We will go to christingle Christmas Eve.

Visit my mum Boxing Day.
Dh's mum passed away.

Totally relaxed. Can't understand these people who get stressed about it all.

goingonabearhunt1 · 13/12/2018 13:48

I buy presents throughout the year as well if I see something a particular person might like and then I put them all in a storage box (ditto cards etc.) so most of it is already there by December and the rest can be bought online/during lunch breaks. But like I say, I don't buy many. I guess if you have a huge family it'd be stressful. I think if that was me I'd be talking to people about having a mutual agreement only to buy for children or some-such, don't really get the point of endless adult presents.

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Oblomov18 · 13/12/2018 13:55

I only do a few decorations.

The most stressful thing this year Wink was that I got my decorations down from the loft, and because it was so hot, in the summer!! the antlers on my stags had melted!! Grin

Bless him. Dh glued them. And they are fine.

That's the most stressed I do. I refuse to get stressed about Christmas.

Hope others try not to get stressed.

Is anyone else just not losing their shit over Christmas?
Lottapianos · 13/12/2018 13:56

'When we tell people this they always act like we must be the selfish people on earth though '

That's just plain weird. Them, not you! No medals for martyrdom, as you say. I wonder if some people are very jealous that you get to opt out of the madness and they wish they could do the same themselves, hence all the shock and horror

Highlights12 · 13/12/2018 13:56

I always remember a work colleague once saying. "Christmas is only as stressful as you make it". How true.

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