Husband ruining all my plans

[mrswormwood1]

Just need to moan and feel sorry for myself with you all! And possible hear someone call my husband a pig? Will definitely cheer me up 😂
My son is 2 and finally understands who Santa is and that Santa is gonna bring him presents this year..
I've been saving my pennies for months and been so careful about what gifts I pick for my son because I wanted things I know he would love and appreciate
I ended up with about 4 presents for him but each and every one was thought out and special..
I just want to make it a lovely memory for him and us..
only problem is my husband.
About a week or two ago I left my husband to watch my son for a couple hours while I went to the hospital for an appointment (pregnant) when I came back my husband had found a hidden presents and opened it and gave it to my son! I was a bit annoyed but not too unhappy as it was only a bubble bath set so not one of the main presents! This morning however I've woken up to my son playing with the most expensive and the present I was most excited about to see his reaction when he opens it on Christmas morning!
I've saved and shopped and planned everything to make this special and he keeps ruining it! I don't have a lot of money to keep replacing gifts at this rate my little one will have nothing left to open on Christmas Day..

[Ourlady]

Im so sorry you are married to such a prick. I hope you manage to make plans to leave him. He's nasty!

[NotAshamedToFancyTheGrinch]

What's wrong with him? Why would he do that? That's really weird. Have you asked what goes through his stupid little brain when he does these things? Find a better hiding place or just ltb.

[Hugoslavia]

The pig!! What an absolute pig and arse!!! Seriously?!! Who does that and why? That's utterly bizarre.

[Kennykenkencat]

I've always known he wasn't the best and that he could do better

I think you meant to say

I've always known he wasn't the best and that I could do better

Either the guy is really really stupid and/or really really lazy in which case I think you are never going to be in an equal partnership

Or he knows what he is doing in which case it is just spiteful and do you really want to be in a relationship with someone so nasty.

Next year he will be telling him that there is no Father Christmas.

I wonder what his reaction would be if you messed up one of his traditions.

Atm you are taking on all the mental load of running this family whilst he does what exactly?

[bellocchild]

He wants your DC to regard him -and only him!- as the giver of Good Presents...this may be a hangover from his childhood, but I'd be worried.

[WorkBitch]

It sounds very much like your husband is a massive twat.

You’ve shown him the gift (which he told you you shouldn’t buy). He’s seen you excited about it & he’s ruined it for you & your son. He’s down this with 2 of the presents that you’ve scrimped & saved for.

Yes, potentially he might not remember as he is young, but it won’t be the same as what you’d hoped for. & what about next year? Or the year after?

I’d have massive problems with this alone op.

That’s before your comments about being controlling & loosing your friends.

[OnceuponaRainbow18]

No way! And why are you the only
One saving for his presents?

[DeadGood]

"He also said that I can just box it back up he opened the box carefully and cause my son is only 2 he'll forget about it by the time Christmas comes around (probably true)"

No. Children aren't stupid. Just because your son probably can't speak much yet, doesn't mean he can't see, perceive and remember things.

[SunshineCake1]

No he isn't a pig. They are lovely and cute. He's a fucking evil excuse for a human being.

He's not stupid and he IS nasty.

[ProfessionalWeirdo]

@bellocchild

He wants your DC to regard him -and only him!- as the giver of Good Presents...this may be a hangover from his childhood, but I'd be worried.

Or possibly a hangover from a culture which regards men as superior?

[HikingforScenery]

What?! Why? Who does that?!

[bellocchild]

@ProfessionalWeirdo "a culture which regards men as superior". And oh-so-lazy. Op does all the saving, choosing and shopping, he gets the pleasure of actual giving. Small children don't appreciate the effort, just the outcome.

[EverNapping]

New Years Resolution @mrswormwood1 :
First week - contact a family member you've drifted from, next week add another family member or friend, and so on.

[BertieBotts]

OP. This has ended up in trending so probably has more traction than you'd like.

If you want to, when it dies down make a post in relationships and ask about literally any aspect of the relationship you're not sure on. Relationships threads don't go into trending and people will be kind.

It helps to have people help you sort things out and make sense of the everyday.

I hope you and your little one have a lovely Christmas. Hopefully he'll forget the present as your DH said and you'll have the moment of seeing him open it. And if not you'll have those moments many times over with other Christmas and birthdays. Preferably without DH ruining the surprise.

[girafferafferaffe]

He's the piggiest pig there could possibly be op.

[Carpetsareforflying]

LTB

[Bluntness100]

This is the oddest thing I’ve read for awhile. And what’s making it even odder is you’re justifying it. Your husband is horrible. Not stupid. Horrible.

And if he’s so stupid as you seek to think that he doesn’t understand then he shouldn’t be left without supervision.

[Heronwatcher]

I don’t know for sure but if you’ve explained it to him, it sounds to me as though he has done it on purpose to show you he is the boss. And also to be cruel as he knew you were looking forward to giving the gift to your son. I think on any level these are red flags and you need to think about getting your kids out of the situation- try to save some money and build bridges with family and friends. Don’t worry about your son’s present, he won’t really remember this, worry more about the longer term.

[2WeeksTillChristmas]

I would be absolutely fuming!!

Is he abit thick?

[turnaroundtime]

He might be a pig. But what he is for sure is fucking odd. Who would do this? Weirdo

[Bogeyes]

Your husband is a dick head knob end idiot selfish arse hole soft shite big fat double stupid pig! Is that ok?

[GrandmasCat]

And this how women end in long term bad relationships… ignoring and dismissing massive red flags.

[lborgia]

2 points from me:

1 - it is possible that he is jealous of your son, of the obvious love you have for him, and the time and effort you put into giving him a wonderful life. But he is now an adult and either asks for professional help, or sorts himself out. I think Christmas is a red herring. He might do this with birthday presents next time.

2 - don't be lulled into thinking this is a bad a it gets. It is bad enough, but all the justifying and the numbness is because you're still standing, and he hasn't done more than be spiteful (or maybe he has).

BUT

My experience is that it can become much darker, more violent, more dangerous a long time later. It was 2.5 years before my boyfriend first hit me, and another 3 years before he attempted to kill me.

I'm sorry to be so brutal, but you need to see what your son will see growing up. At 2 years old, his development is already impacted by your husband's behaviour, even if only slightly. You get to stop the cycle, even if he can't.

Good luck.