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Husband ruining all my plans
233

mrswormwood1 · 08/12/2021 09:48

Just need to moan and feel sorry for myself with you all! And possible hear someone call my husband a pig? Will definitely cheer me up 😂
My son is 2 and finally understands who Santa is and that Santa is gonna bring him presents this year..
I've been saving my pennies for months and been so careful about what gifts I pick for my son because I wanted things I know he would love and appreciate
I ended up with about 4 presents for him but each and every one was thought out and special..
I just want to make it a lovely memory for him and us..
only problem is my husband.
About a week or two ago I left my husband to watch my son for a couple hours while I went to the hospital for an appointment (pregnant) when I came back my husband had found a hidden presents and opened it and gave it to my son! I was a bit annoyed but not too unhappy as it was only a bubble bath set so not one of the main presents! This morning however I've woken up to my son playing with the most expensive and the present I was most excited about to see his reaction when he opens it on Christmas morning!
I've saved and shopped and planned everything to make this special and he keeps ruining it! I don't have a lot of money to keep replacing gifts at this rate my little one will have nothing left to open on Christmas Day..

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SmolCat · 08/12/2021 10:18

Do you actually speak to each other?

How can he not know what his own child is getting for Christmas?

If he’s A) left you to buy everything and B) doing this on purpose then why are you with him?

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00100001 · 08/12/2021 10:17

Bizarre

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cushioncovers · 08/12/2021 10:17

What a spiteful thing to do. Did you speak to him about this ? What did he say? Why doesn't he know that brand new toys hidden away aren't for playing with?

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Jumpingintochristmas · 08/12/2021 10:15

How nasty. I couldn’t be with a man so keen to fuck me over he ruins a child’s Christmas in the process!

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Thegreencup · 08/12/2021 10:15

@mam0918

I don't find the buying thing odd - women usually tend to do the majority of Xmas shopping for the kids, its odd that people are saying it's odd lol.

I buy 95% of the kid's stuff and I'm not going to sit and list every sweetie and stocking filler for DH lol.

He will ask 'have you got x this' before he buys the 1 or 2 things he buys because I shop months in advance and he leaves it until the week of Xmas but I don't need his approval to buy things and it would be tedious to have to tell him every item.

That said he obviously KNOWS not to touch the xmas presents before xmas and he certainly wouldn't unwrap things, thats just bizaare.

I buy 95% of the kids stuff.

But I generally have conversations with my DH like 'I've bought X,Y and Z for the kids today'. Or 'The stuff in the bag in the bedroom is for the kids Christmas'.

I also say to DH that seeing as I've paid this amount towards the kids, he needs to transfer money into the joint account to cover half.

It's also not rocket science that something covered in wrapping paper in December is for Christmas and I'd expect even the most simple of people not to open it until Christmas.
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irishfarmer · 08/12/2021 10:15

What? That is very weird! What did he say when you asked him about it after the first time? Did he just ignore that they were santa presents the second time?

I am unsure but is he your DHs child (you keep saying my son)? If he is you shouldn't have been paying for the presents alone.

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LifeInAHamsterWheel · 08/12/2021 10:15

This is awful and there must be a whole backstory here. You refer to your son as "my son" throughout - is your husband the boy's father? It almost sounds abusive to me, like he's doing it to get at you. There's no way a father would find a hidden present, something really expensive and exciting, a few weeks before Christmas and not know that it's a Christmas present? Especially if he'd already done it with smaller gifts he'd found. What happened the first time he did it? I'm sorry but this is just so wrong and with the other details about you having to scrimp & save to buy the presents etc. it just sounds to me like your in a very bad relationship. I hope you have some real-life support OP Sad

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Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 08/12/2021 10:14

Did you tell him how annoyed you were first time and he did it again anyway?
They're wrapped in Xmas paper?

He is more than a pig.
You've got big problems if he behaves like this. So utterly mean actually.

I'm so sorry.

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DoNotGetADog · 08/12/2021 10:13

Is your husband actually your child's father?

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rainbowthunder · 08/12/2021 10:12

Unbelievable he would spoil the surprise. As others have said, do you discuss things like Christmas presents? Nearly all couple would.

The important things here are:

  1. How did he react when you said you were unhappy and the presents were for Christmas day?
  2. What is he like as a husband generally and do you have a happy relationship?
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HavfrueDenizKisi · 08/12/2021 10:11

Your husband sounds like a complete idiot.

My presumption here is that this is the tip of the iceberg for shit behaviour from him.

Once is a mistake. Twice is, quite frankly, him being a complete arsehole. Deliberately.

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CoffeeChocolateWine · 08/12/2021 10:11

This is so weird! Why would he do that? When you say he ‘opened it’, do you mean these gifts were actually wrapped? He’s either spectacularly stupid or he’s being malicious for some reason.

I don’t think it’s unusual for the mothers to do the majority of planning and buying of presents, especially if they are the main carer. I do on our house. The main presents are discussed but other smaller ones and stocking fillers I just get on with! Although we have a joint account do it’s not just down to me to pay…that seems strange.

I would be utterly fuming.

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Shedmistress · 08/12/2021 10:11

What is wrong with him?

Seriously, he cannot be right in the head to give a kids christmas presents that he didn't even buy and wrap himself. Who does that?

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Rainbowqueeen · 08/12/2021 10:10

He did this deliberately. You have big big problems. My FIL is the same kind of person.
I’d get my ducks in a row. And I’d hide the remaining gifts at a friend or neighbours house
And 💐 for you. I hope that you are still able to have a lovely Xmas.

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Franklyfrost · 08/12/2021 10:09

I don’t understand. He found wrapped presents and gave them to the child to unwrap. Was it the child’s birthday? Or did he find some bubble bath, unwrapped, in a kitchen drawer and show it to the kid not knowing it was a present?

Pig if it was wrapped or obviously a hidden present (like a toy, with tags on, behind the books on the bookshelf).

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Topseyt · 08/12/2021 10:09

He sounds like an utter twat. I'd be telling him so, and making clear that he should replace the gifts and give those to your DS on Christmas Day.

Yes, I'd be furious. It shows a special category of fuckwittery to do what he has done.

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Bonnealle · 08/12/2021 10:04

I cannot fathom saving in secret and buying my child Christmas presents and hiding them from my husband?! Why did you do this? Don’t you discuss what you’re going to buy and then both buy them? Honestly, I don’t think him finding presents and opening them is the real problem here.

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mam0918 · 08/12/2021 10:02

I don't find the buying thing odd - women usually tend to do the majority of Xmas shopping for the kids, its odd that people are saying it's odd lol.

I buy 95% of the kid's stuff and I'm not going to sit and list every sweetie and stocking filler for DH lol.

He will ask 'have you got x this' before he buys the 1 or 2 things he buys because I shop months in advance and he leaves it until the week of Xmas but I don't need his approval to buy things and it would be tedious to have to tell him every item.

That said he obviously KNOWS not to touch the xmas presents before xmas and he certainly wouldn't unwrap things, thats just bizaare.

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RoastPotatoQueen · 08/12/2021 10:02

So why isn't he replacing the presents with his money? Why are you scrimping?

It's not even funny id be furious.

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MrMrsJones · 08/12/2021 10:01

This doesn't make sense.

Your child
You have bought the present
Thought by you
You scrimped and saved

Where does your husband come into all of this?

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TheLovelinessOfBaublyDemons · 08/12/2021 09:57

That's really awful. He's a pig.

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mam0918 · 08/12/2021 09:57

why the fuck would he do that?

This isn't normal behavior and your calmness at it is a bit odd.

My DH would be sleeping on his parent's couch if he had had the brass balls to do something that rude and shitty - and damn right he would be paying for replacements too.

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Thegreencup · 08/12/2021 09:56

@ExplodingCarrots

Why is it you scrimping and scraping to buy these gifts ? Tell your H he needs to buy a replacement gift. It's such an odd thing to do tbh .

I'm thinking the same.

Do you not discuss the children's Christmas presents together? Do you not tell each other what you've bought and where it's hidden? Does he not also contribute?

I'm waiting for the massive but not unexpected drip feed that he doesn't pay for anything for the DC, doesn't do anything with them and 'watching' his own kids for a few hours is done as a massive favour to you.
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Warmduscher · 08/12/2021 09:56

Do you not discuss things like Christmas presents for a child that I assume you’re both the parents of?

It doesn’t sound like a marriage at all with you saving your own money to buy presents, and the lack of communication with your husband about what you’ve bought.

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meh12 · 08/12/2021 09:55

He's a stupid twat. I'd be furious.

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