Husband ruining all my plans

[mrswormwood1]

Just need to moan and feel sorry for myself with you all! And possible hear someone call my husband a pig? Will definitely cheer me up 😂
My son is 2 and finally understands who Santa is and that Santa is gonna bring him presents this year..
I've been saving my pennies for months and been so careful about what gifts I pick for my son because I wanted things I know he would love and appreciate
I ended up with about 4 presents for him but each and every one was thought out and special..
I just want to make it a lovely memory for him and us..
only problem is my husband.
About a week or two ago I left my husband to watch my son for a couple hours while I went to the hospital for an appointment (pregnant) when I came back my husband had found a hidden presents and opened it and gave it to my son! I was a bit annoyed but not too unhappy as it was only a bubble bath set so not one of the main presents! This morning however I've woken up to my son playing with the most expensive and the present I was most excited about to see his reaction when he opens it on Christmas morning!
I've saved and shopped and planned everything to make this special and he keeps ruining it! I don't have a lot of money to keep replacing gifts at this rate my little one will have nothing left to open on Christmas Day..

[mrswormwood1]

@EnidFrighten

The present isn't really the issue here. The problem is that your husband has caused a problem and it's expected that you will step in to sort it out. And the way he caused the problem suggests he doesn't respect your work in saving for and choosing a gift for your son.

'She saved for this and planned it and bought it and hid it - whatever, I'll give it to him now to buy myself a quiet half hour and she'll have to sort it out somehow.'

I suspect this is the tip of the iceberg?

Yes I suppose it is just the tip..

[ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings]

He did it on purpose OP to punish you for not following his orders on what to buy or not buy. Don't you know that your role is to do all the thinking and planning, and his role is to sit there like Lord commander of the house and have the final say on all your efforts? He's an arsehole and I'll bet if we scratched the surface a tiny bit we would find later upon layer of additional arsehole behaviour. This is just the tip of the iceberg of him being lazy, selfish, thoughtless, passive aggressive, childish, manipulative etc - am I right?

[girlmom21]

He doesn't realise he's done something so bad

Yes he does. He knows exactly what Christmas means to a child even if he never celebrated it himself.

[CoffeeChocolateWine]

So he knew that it was your DS’s main Christmas present when he went to the secret place, got it out and unboxed it for him?? There was no ‘genuine mistake’ about it? Honestly, I would be so angry and upset. He needs to fix this by buying him another equally special and magical gift from Santa.

And he’s also a shit Dad if he couldn’t think of a single other way to comfort his crying son than give him his Christmas present several weeks early. I don’t think your DS will forget about the present before Christmas. Young children have an incredible memory and Christmas is just over 2 weeks away.

[FictionalCharacter]

Your update is still a bit puzzling @mrswormwood1. Did you really think people would have told you to get over it? The concerning thing is your husband’s behaviour, not whether your son is too small to care.

[BossLady007]

Yep, you found yourself a real prize there, OP.

[girlmom21]

He gave him the expensive toy on purpose because he'd told you not to get it for Christmas and you got it anyway.

The fact you said you'd left your husband looking after the child for 2 hours says everything to me. I'm guessing you have to ask him to babysit if you want to do anything?

He sounds like a prick.

[mrswormwood1]

He'd never celebrated Christmas before I met him and never understood the magic of it for a child but he does get involved and let me run wild with it
I even managed to get him to dress up as Santa I just think the whole concept of it doesn't make sense to him
He doesn't realise he's done something so bad
But I guarantee you he will be getting replacements for it
(Even though I've managed to get it back into the box and ready for wrapping)
He made a mistake to do this this morning as we are off to a big shopping centre later on to meet Santa and I will be getting more Christmas presents for my son AND myself

[MiniPumpkin]

If you ask me it’s just pure laziness, he used the toy to keep him busy

[LightDrizzle]

Well horses for courses I suppose.
I couldn’t tolerate being with someone so thick.
You’ll just have to hone your skills in anticipating the stupid things he might do; give clear instructions not to do them; and then bombard him with instruction checking questions: “So if Ollie is upset is it okay to give him a present from the drawer?” Answer: No.
“Can you leave Ollie happily watching CBeebies for 10 minutes while you nip to the shop while I’m out of the house?” Answer: No.
Personally I’m only happy to do that kind of thing for paid work.

[Shehasadiamondinthesky]

So basically he is too lazy to look after DS properly so he gave him the presents to shut him up. That's what it boils down to. Sounds like he can't be trusted with anything.

[EnidFrighten]

The present isn't really the issue here. The problem is that your husband has caused a problem and it's expected that you will step in to sort it out. And the way he caused the problem suggests he doesn't respect your work in saving for and choosing a gift for your son.

'She saved for this and planned it and bought it and hid it - whatever, I'll give it to him now to buy myself a quiet half hour and she'll have to sort it out somehow.'

I suspect this is the tip of the iceberg?

[Polmuggle]

OP do you really think your husband is so dim he can't comprehend the concept of Christmas presents?

Isn't it far more likely that he did this knowing full well why it wasn't ok but either having no care for your time/effort and feelings, or deliberately wanting to undermine you having spent the money and deny you the experience of seeing your son open then?

I'm sorry but in my opinion there is ZERO chance this was a misunderstanding.

[AwaAnBileYerHeid]

Your husband sounds thick as pig shit. I would be livid, I'd also be writing a list of additional toys to replace these and making your husband go out and buy them. Don't let him rest till he comes home with exactly what you've asked him to buy.

[JalfreziAtChristmas]

You say you think it's stupidity.. Is he really this thick though? It's on a different level!

[RestingPandaFace]

Still a knob. He couldn’t think of a single other thing to distract a 2 year old with than a brand new unopened Christmas present (which just by co-incidence happens to be something he didn’t think you should buy) I smell BS!

[Lunificent]

It’s all probably ok in the scheme of things but he does seem a bit odd. Does he celebrate Christmas himself? Is the issue that he doesn't know what Christmas means to you?

[diddl]

"He does stupid things like this all the time if I'm honest"

Oh well then.

What is he going to replace the presents with?

[ScatteredMama82]

Sorry but I just can't get my head around why he's done this. It's not like your DS came across it by accident so he's let him have it. From what you say he has to go to a specific location, not accessible to your son and get the special item out to give him it? Why would he do that? What an arsehole! He's totally undermining you and spoiling your effort. I think there is more to this.

[HalfWomanHalfMincePie]

No advice, just wishing you luck OP - your husband sounds like my worse bloody nightmare tbh.

[mrswormwood1]

I call him "my son" but he is ours both haha

[godmum56]

thsi just CANNOT be all the story. Is your husband stupid oin ther ways?

[mrswormwood1]

Ah definitely made me feel better was expecting people to tell me to get over it that my son is too small to care
So all our "house" money goes into the joint account I sort the bills and ensure everything is paid and that we have money put away for family activities and presents like Christmas presents.. so yes the money for presents is from both of us not just me
But I do all the Christmas shopping and planning I don't mind I love it
It wasn't wrapped but it was boxed and ALL the Christmas presents for my son and family members are hidden under my sons storage drawers under his bed that he's unable to open himself.. my husband definitely new this was an important gift because I showed it to him and he said it was too expensive and not to get it
I got really excited yesterday when I found in for a bit cheaper and used my own personal money to buy it for my son so my husband won't complain about the money spent on it
He does stupid things like this all the time if I'm honest not in an attempt to be nasty but I think pure stupidity
He said my son was crying when he had to leave for work so he had to do something to distract him
He also said that I can just box it back up he opened the box carefully and cause my son is only 2 he'll forget about it by the time Christmas comes around (probably true)
Not defending him just explaining

[LadyCatStark]

Why would he do such a thing??

[amusedbush]

What the actual fuck?? What was he thinking? Either he’s thick as pig shit not to realise what the gifts were for or he’s a complete arsehole.