Worst secret santa gift you've received?

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On 2 occasions I've been the only person who didn't receive a gift - both claimed they had forgotten. Very hurtful and embarrassing situation to be in. Never received anything at a later date either.

Another time with a crafting group I belong to, I received a basket of mixed nuts from Tesco's- I'm allergic to almonds and not really a nut fan, which the giver wasn't to know. However the theme of the SS was to give something you had made. I did complain to the organiser from the stand point of nut allergies being a problem and fortunately SS seems to have fallen out of favour.

I don't work in the type of areas these days that have SS - thank heavens

I've had nothing. Very annoying. I've not been the victim of an obviously malicious parcel though. Mostly just the usual boring toiletries gift sets.

A bible.

Was definitely from my Jehovah’s Witness colleague.

A balloon filled with flour...plain or self raising I'm not sure!

A tub of Lust Dust (edible sherbet I think) from Ann Summers from one of my male colleagues. Yuk!

A scarf with a box of matchmakers

A packet of ready salted Walkers crisps.

That’s just crap though, many of the other things on this thread are bitchy or disgusting. I’m glad I’ve not been in a job that does secret Santa for years.

@my8thMNusername

Via a taxidermist or just pure roadkill?

I think it was a pheasant he’d shot himself. It was a long time ago, but I think his family came from somewhere in Scotland where a dead pheasant was a perfectly normal gift. He shot one, he needed a gift….job done?

I'd have cooked the pheasant - I love pheasant.

I'd have cooked the pheasant - I love pheasant

Perhaps so,
But it was the sudden change of mood that floored things. It was a bit like turning on the tv expecting to see the Simpsons and finding one of the Saw films

I don’t think I’ve ever had a terrible Secret Santa gift, luckily. Maybe they’ve been a bit boring or generic but nothing horrible or passive aggressive.

The one that sticks in my mind though was in the office I worked in years ago. One of the fellas opened his and out fell an Ann Summers posing pouch and some kind of chocolate genitalia. There was a hushed silence (everyone else’s gifts were things like a nice mug, scarf or gloves etc) and he looked mortified. It was well deserved in my opinion though. He liked to come across as Mister Nice Guy but he’d bragged about cheating on his wife using the website ‘Illicit Encounters’ so I thought it was hilarious 😁 and I had a good giggle later on with the person I knew had bought it for him

Some Post It notes. They were posh ones from Selfridges I think, but still..

Not bad particularly but certainly the oddest: A framed photo of my face superimposed onto the body of a fantasy character!

But I once gave a SS gift that to this day makes me cringe and feel deeply ashamed of myself: I forgot, then panicked on the day and wrapped up a box of signature ales that I found at the back of the cupboard. Turned out when the recipient opened them, they were 3 years out of date. I tried to redeem myself afterwards by buying a really nice set of fresh ales for him and left them on his desk with a note “from Santa” apologising for this dreadful mistake. And luckily he thought the whole thing was very funny. But I still feel mortified about it many years later. That’s my punishment!

Last year I got a book of what can only be described as terrible sex poetry.
From SIL's boyfriend.

Not me but dh. A three pack of Cadbury cream eggs!

I’m not sure what the thinking behind it was or where he even managed to get cream eggs in December!

When I was about 17, my manager took an unusual interest in my sex life. For our secret Santa, she bought me edible knickers, a grow your own sex toy, and some other "sexy" items. I was horrified. I was such a shy teen.

Somebody had clearly forgotten and improvised last minute. They made a brown paper lunch bag into rudolf (using felt tips) then put a load of random shit inside it.
There was a chocolate bar (nice) but then wet wipe sachets, paper clips, pencils. They'd clearly pilfered the stationary cupboard

I'm not going to take part in any from now on...reading all these it seems like nobody likes them! Why would they?! Go get yourself a present you like!

I got a Poundland desk diary which had feltip squiggles on most pages. They had either bought it like that or left it somewhere their toddler could get hold of it.

Best ever for novelty factor alone was a tin of Donald trump mints.and a miniature Donald Trump soap. I am not a particular fan of Donald but enjoyed the weirdness of it. Gave both to my son as he collects weird things.