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Feel bad for 9 year old - Santa not real
120

RevolvingPivot · 20/10/2021 08:57

Hi. My dd11 figured our Santa wasn't real age 9/10. This year dd9 has been asking. I've told them he isn't so this is the first year they know for definite.

I feel bad that my eldest had two years of guessing but not knowing. I think being the younger sibling means they often grow up quicker.

I've just seen a post on Facebook where a woman is asking for advice on telling her son. (I can't see his age). There are a lot of replies that say their children age12-14 still believe.

Is this true?? I though they would know before secondary.

I suppose it's all part of growing up?

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ForeverWondering · 22/10/2021 09:32

I was 12 when I found out. A few kids at school new he wasn't real... and mentioned it.
My lovely "mum" decided to tell me on Christmas Eve of all days... 🤦🏻‍♀️

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SprayedWithDettol · 22/10/2021 09:38

I worked it out at a very young age possibly 6. It was obvious that he wasn’t real because for some he delivered all presents or for like me, it was a stocking of small treats and main gifts were from my parents. Also some children got loads and others not much at all. I was aware at 6 that this didn’t make sense. (This is not a boast it’s a fact.)

Those people who think their children at secondary school still believe are deluding themselves or are please to have totally credulous children.

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AliceMcK · 23/10/2021 16:34

@ThirdElephant just because she has asked questions dose not mean she’s suspected the “truth” as you put it. If anything I suspect she’s heard other kids talk or just tried doing the math and wants reassurance Father Christmas is real and the magic is real. She’s not daft if she really wanted to she would push me but she hasn’t and has always gone away with a big smile knowing he’s real. I know far too many people who have told me how upset their children have been when the parents told them the truth when all they wanted is for their parents to so say of course he’s real. I’m not doing that to any of my children.

Children, especially in the uk are forced to grow up far to fast, if I can keep the magic alive a little longer I will. All her friends still believe and she has a couple of years to go until high school so I’m going to keep it alive as long as possible. I also have younger children so don’t want their magic destroyed too soon either.

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MrsTulipTattsyrup · 23/10/2021 16:40

Look, I’m 50 and I’m still not completely sure he’s not real, so whatever age is fine with me.

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RevolvingPivot · 02/12/2021 15:15

Hi.

So my daughter is so upset that all her friends are excited for Father Christmas. Most of them all have elves doing funny things or hiding.

She asked last night why I had to tell her.

Her sister is 11 so I assumed the younger ones do find out earlier.

She's so cute, she bought her friend a cuddly reindeer and asked me to write a note to say Santa left it at ours and that she is on the good list. Her friend the face timed her and my dd went along with it. Bless her she's pretending for her friends.

I don't remember ever being told it's just something you realise 🤯🤯

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maofteens · 02/12/2021 15:54

Those 12-14 year olds are humouring their parents. Or else I'd be kinda worried about them!
My son looked at me one day and said 'you're Santa aren't you' I think he either thought Santa shopped at Tesco or else it had to be me. He was t upset, just then tried to keep it up fir his younger sister, though occasionally caught him about to break it to her. I think she just went along with it a couple years more but she knew too. Often the realisation comes when they are mature enough to think it's a silly concept (then they be some parents and think it's wonderful again.).

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GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 02/12/2021 16:16

In very matter of fact tones, dd1 told me at coming up to 9 that she knew Father Christmas was me and daddy, so I might as well admit it.
So I did.

Years later, when she was in her early 20s, she told me she’d been dying for me to deny it, so she could go on believing a little longer.
I so wish I had! 😩

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cabingirl · 02/12/2021 16:23

DD was 5 when she outright asked. Roughly the same age she asked if God was real.

I pretty much gave her the same answer for both..

"Some people think that he's real, some people think that it's just a lovely story. This is what Mummy believes.... (slightly different answer for Santa vs God). You get to make your own mind up. But believing is part of the magic for some people so we don't make fun of those who do believe or spoil the magic for them."

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StColumbofNavron · 02/12/2021 16:29

DS3 (10, year 6) still sort of believes. He won't let any presents go under the tree until Santa comes etc. DS2 (13) told me that DS3 has told him he knows Santa isn't real, DS2 said he just thinks it might not be so much fun and so exciting if he admits it. I.E. we might be a bit more open with presents and they won't 'appear' on Christmas Eve. I've never actually admitted anything to my DC. Any questions I just said 'I don't know' and they conjectured a load of stuff about magic.

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Divebar2021 · 02/12/2021 16:41

I saw this today and loved it. My DD9 hasn’t mentioned FC but she announced this year that she knew the tooth fairy wasn’t real. I just shrugged and said “ it’s up to you what you believe” That’s my stance really - neutral answers.

Feel bad for 9 year old - Santa not real
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HelplesslyHoping · 02/12/2021 17:15

I found out when I was 10, DH was told when he was 6- on Christmas day! We plan to let our daughter believe as long as she likes. Our Niece is 15 and still believes- no SEND, she's just worryingly naive.

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Fluffycloudland77 · 02/12/2021 17:18

I remember dhs cousin telling his dw their 9yo was putting it on that they still believed.

12-14 is unbelievable. 15 is worrying. She’s some boys dream girlfriend.

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DockOTheBay · 02/12/2021 18:23

@FawnFrenchieMum

I think anyone who believes their secondary school children still believe (without SEN) is probably more gullible then they think!

I would say 9 is about the average. Up to 11 is normal.

Yes I would agree with this. My Mum is convinced I still believed at age 13 but I had definitely cottoned on and just wasn't saying anything!

I would agree that 9 is probably about average, with a range of around 7 to 11. I would be upset if my kids worked it out before age 7, and concerned if they hadn't worked it out by age 12 (SEN aside)
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DockOTheBay · 02/12/2021 18:28

8/9 seems quite old to me, I would assume a child that age is cut off from other kids and quite sheltered.

5 seems quite young to me. I would assume a child that age has no imagination and parents who can't be bothered to have fun. But maybe lets not make stupid assumptions Hmm

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Keepingtheseatwarm · 02/12/2021 18:35

I think most kids just go along with it to humour their parents/ keep it special for younger kids from 8/9 or so, don't they?

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OatALot · 02/12/2021 18:36

DD is 9 and still believes. I'm not bothered. Plenty of adults believe in things that can't be proven.

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Keepingtheseatwarm · 02/12/2021 18:37

@RevolvingPivot

Hi.

So my daughter is so upset that all her friends are excited for Father Christmas. Most of them all have elves doing funny things or hiding.

She asked last night why I had to tell her.

Her sister is 11 so I assumed the younger ones do find out earlier.

She's so cute, she bought her friend a cuddly reindeer and asked me to write a note to say Santa left it at ours and that she is on the good list. Her friend the face timed her and my dd went along with it. Bless her she's pretending for her friends.

I don't remember ever being told it's just something you realise 🤯🤯

Knowing FC isn't real doesn't mean the traditions have to stop.
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Hellocatshome · 02/12/2021 18:37

14 year olds will not believe in Santa unless they have any sort of special needs. Both my kids told me (not asked) that Santa wasn't real aged 4/5.

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Shehasadiamondinthesky · 02/12/2021 18:38

I never believed, I knew full well santa was my grandad every single year although I didn't let on as they were so happy about it so I pretended.
I can't believe a kid can get to 9 and still believe in santa??

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Campfirewood · 02/12/2021 18:43

Between 7-9 is normal with the kids I know. It is pretty illogical, a man flying around the world in one night.
As soon as they start to grasp the basics of time and distance they really start to question.

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CoolShoeshine · 02/12/2021 18:44

I told my dd honestly, after she asked outright, that Santa wasn’t real. She was 6. She was intelligent and had been questioning the plausibility of Santa for a few months leading up to her asking.
Honestly, she still loved Christmas just as much after knowing it wasn’t true. I wouldn’t have wanted her to be in juniors or high school doubting but with me convincing her it was true until the point I decided to own up. But each to their own.

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MynameisWa · 02/12/2021 18:48

Seriously I don’t see why people get tied up so much about Santa. I never let on. My kids are 17 and 13 and he’s real in our house! Nobody would dare say otherwise. At the time of ‘is he isn’t he’ they find out in their own time and think it funny that mummy’s still going along with the joke so they start playing along too. It’s all very jolly ho ho.

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LettertoHermoine · 02/12/2021 18:55

I can honestly say I have never known a child not to believe at 5. Something quite sad about it.

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GodIsAVegan · 02/12/2021 18:55

My kids were both in year 3 do age 7/8 when they knew Santa wasn’t real. A few kids in the class believed for another year.

There was one mum that insisted her son still believed in year 6. He absolutely didn’t according to my child but was keeping his mum happy by pretending. He was very embarrassed that his mum was telling people he still believed.

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Divebar2021 · 02/12/2021 18:56

Soon someone’s going to say their child knew when they were a foetus and they can’t believe there are 4 year olds walking around who still believe.

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