If your toddler were prime minister...

... Britain would be a very different place. 

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1. "The national anthem would be Let It Go."

English national anthem Frozen

2. "Privacy would be criminalised."

3. "It would be legal to marry your own mother."

4. "90% of the country's fields would be turned over to the production of raisins."

raisin box

5. "There would be a law which stated that if someone helped you get dressed - even slightly - you'd be obliged to strip naked and start again."

6. "We would all only wear a nappy and wellies."

woman jumping in puddle

7. "
Big savings for the NHS: anything that hurts would be treated with a kiss in the first instance."

8. "All financial transactions would be completed using crayons and pieces of Lego. Stones would form the bedrock of any fiscal policy."

lego men holding brick

9. "There would be no more issues with waiting times: waiting as a concept would be outlawed."

10. "Fire-engine drivers and am'blance peoples would finally get the pay and conditions they deserve. See also train, lorry and nee-naw drivers."

child playing with ambulance toy

11. "Leadership positions (and ice-cream vans) would go to whoever could do the best high-pitched scream."

12. "It would be illegal for yoghurt and ice cream to have bits in."

yoghurt with bits in with no sign through it

13. "Everyone would have to tell each other how much they loved each other. 'To the moon and back' would be the standard response."

illustration from guess how much i love you 


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Last updated: about 3 years ago