Moments you realised you were becoming your mother
You can fight it as much as you want, but face facts: it happens to us all and, if you're not already on this slipperiest of slopes, you soon will be. We all become our mothers in the end. Mind you, is that such a bad thing?
You're completely bewildered by the fashion choices of the young
“I saw a teenage boy dressed rather absurdly. I said to my husband: 'What did he come as? Is this what the kids wear nowadays?' There are a number of elements of my mother in this: (a) I noticed what some random child was wearing; (b) I commented on it in public and someone could have realised I was referring to him, but I didn't care; (c) I refer to anyone under my age as 'the kids'; (d) I had to ask if that was the fashion – I didn't just know.”
You feel the cold by proxy
“I have noted for years that young, fashionably dressed people in winter will catch their death. Where are their coats?!”
You know it's their life – but they'll get it wrong without your
“My precious baby just got married and I am on a sticky slope to becoming my mum (a.k.a. The Mother in Law from Hell). I am trying not to comment but their house is a tip and there is still no baby.”
You can't watch TV without offering a critique
“I can't watch a programme without muttering 'Eee!' at least once, or gasping or saying 'Aw!'.”
You pass comment on strangers in the street
“A young man was cycling fast on the pavement. I shouted after him that he was a maniac. There are numerous elements of my mother in this: (a) I felt it was OK to yell at a stranger in public; (b) I used the word 'maniac'; (c) I judged him based on his appearance; (d) I described him on MN as a 'young man'.”
People mistake you for her
“I sent my husband a selfie of me looking, I thought, demure and come-hither (it wasn't rude, I promise). He replied: 'God, you really look like your mum in that.' He wasn't trying to be funny either.”
Her words keep creeping out of your mouth
''I find myself asking: 'Why are all the lights on? It's not Blackpool Illuminations!' My children have never been to Blackpool, they have no idea what I'm talking about."
And it's really starting to freak you out
“I actually heard myself sounding like my mother and looked round for her. It was me. And then I see her in shop windows, but it isn't – it's me.''
Actually, you may be worse than your mother
“I think my mum might actually be a bit hipper than me. I had a 20 minute rant the other day about Barbie's clothes: 'Why can't she come with a nice cardie to keep her warm?' I looked up to see my mum looking at me like I was an alien.''
But when all's said and done, there are worse things to be…
“Really my mum is a diamond. She fusses about the little things, but if there were a crisis she'd be there. I hope I'm as useful.”
“I'm trying very hard to channel my mum – I was 17 when she died and she was bloody awesome. She was graceful and elegant and calm and funny. If I can be half what she was, I'll be happy.”