Gentleman's vegetables, and 4 other reasons to LTB (leave the bastard)

Over the years on Mumsnet, we've been witness to the entire spectrum of partners' "quirks". Here's a selection of the most irritating. 


Overexposure of gentlemens' vegetables 




“My husband has just come downstairs after his shower, removed his towel and sat his naked self on our new sofa. It is not naked Sunday. Am I being unreasonable to ask him to dress his gentleman's vegetables before sitting down?!”

“My partner does this. He then slides forwards to the very edge of the couch, dangles his balls off the end and uses my hair dryer to dry them.”


Confusing the Christmas food shop with Supermarket Sweep

Dale Winton


“For the first time ever my husband went off to do the xmas food shop. His parting words - 'don't look worried ... I got this'

"He bought, amongst other things:
12 pack of kitchen roll
24 luxury toilet rolls - the type that are about 12 tog and will block up our feeble pipes
A partridge
8 different olives
Masses and masses of lemon jelly???
Premier Champagne (he's teetotal, I drink Cava)
Popcorn (with sour cream and chives - heresy)
the whole biscuit aisle
a farking Heston Blumenthal cake (£25!!!???)
a crate of festive cheeses
8lb gammon
bike helmet
fancy bubble bath
posh candles (that smell)






“For 11 years of marriage I have put up with his pathological need to stir whatever is bubbling in a pan. I can live with it. But he waited till I was out with the dog, and BUTCHERED my chicken into a shredded stringy globby mess.

"He had clearly chopped it with the spoon then bashed and shredded it and stirred it into fuckery oblivion. Am I being unreasonable to think you shouldn't fuck with another person's poultry like an obsessive spoonyfucker?”

Not at all unreasonable, according to Mumsnet user poster:

“If I came home to find my DH fucking our poultry I'd be so angry”



What's wrong with a towel?



"My husband dries himself after every bath or shower with a hair-drier"



Standing like a T-Rex




"T-Rex as in Marc Bolan or was he pretending to be a dinosaur? I'm baffled and intrigued."

We all were. (Look, you’ll just have to go and read the thread. Trust us, it’s worth it.)






Last updated: about 3 years ago