Tell me about the most jaw dropping OMG moment you've ever witnessed...

Remembered one from my waitressing days. Had a very posh all day wedding in our function room, daughter of a local councillor and much money spent, so champagne reception, wedding breakfast and evening dance. We offered the bridal party a small room in the landlord's flat to change/have a rest/whatever in - to get to the flat you had to go through the pub kitchen and laundry area.
I had been there all day and was just coming towards the end of my shift but decided to get a few things organised for the Sunday lunch crew the following day so went into the just cleaned and now closed kitchen to pick up some cutlery. Only to find the bride and groom consummating their marriage on the kitchen work tops!
Weirdly the only thing I could think of was the fact that someone was now going to have to disinfect the counters. Again.
Actually the things I saw at that place could fill a book...

It was September 11, 2001, and we had all been sent home from work early. I was working near Bank at the time and got the District Line back to where I was staying in Fulham. Lots of City people on the tube, many of whom obviously had connections in New York. Everyone was reading the Standard, which had this huge photo of the burning towers on the front page. Some people were crying. It was horrible. I've never seen anything like it - people just trying to take in the enormity of what had happened.

Two stops in, a hippie busker got on, all hairy and beads, with a guitar. He looked around, shouted: "Cheer up, everybody!", and proceeded to launch into The Wonder Stuff's 'Size Of A Cow'.

People just stared.

At the end of the song, there was total silence. The busker looked round like he was expecting everyone to break into applause. Then someone muttered: 'I think you'd better get off now, mate.'

The busker snorted with disgust and got off.

I still wonder to this day whether he was the only person in London who hadn't heard...

Mines not as good as alot of these but it was still quite funny for my teenage self.

I went to visit a friend in London and we went to the cinema. The cinema was quite empty. A few rows in front of us there was a couple and in front of them, another couple.

Towards the end of the film,one of the women shouted at the other couple to 'shut the fuck up.' This must have been ignored as few minutes later the woman grabbed the other womens hair, pulled her head back and started punching and slapping her! The two women started to have a full on fight over the seats. The weird thing was that their boyfriends just sat there and didn't even try and stop them!

So many: 4 Traveller children including a baby riding a quadbike on the dual carriageway.

The naked woman jogging on Hendon Way at 1 am. Very beautiful, looked a lot like Nigella.

The morbidly obese family making the ascent from Snowdon station to the summit cairn. They did it, bless 'em. Only took 20 minutes.

Our neighbour's three year old DD, who worked out how to unlock her front door and push her 6 mo baby sister ACROSS THE ROAD in her stroller to "see the baby and have coffee, but I don't like coffee so can I have crisps instead?" Lovely child, on track for a First.

Marking place to add mine later!

More! More! Don't let this great thread die!

CruCru, your hairy green cola thief gave me a genuine LOL

Shred - I saw something very similar waiting for the out of hours gp with my dd. A woman went to the vending machine, bought a bottle of vimto and poured it into her baby's bottle. The baby was very young - still in a pram if I remember.

My judgy pants were also well and truly hoiked ...

I once saw a young woman in a restaurant order a Coke, tip it into a baby bottle with a teat on, and feed it to her baby who was maybe 6-8 months old.

Reader, I judged. I judged so badly I was choking on my judgy pants.

I was in a hotel swimming pool in The Gambia with my friend, early evening.
The only other people in the pool were a white Dutch couple with two (presumably adopted) young black children who must have been 3 or 4.
The mum was at one end of the pool smoking a joint, and the dad was at the other end, so the mum passes the joint to the little girl who was running about on the poolside to take to her partner. The little girl takes the joint, and on the way pauses, says 'Mummy look' and takes a massive great toke on the joint. Both the parents fall about laughing.

My friend and I were .

Not mine but my friend's - a car with two women and two babies. Windows shut. Women smoking... Weed.

In sainsbos in Bracknell I saw an old lady who clearly hadn't bothered to take any undergarments off before going to the toilet. She obviously hadn't bothered actually locating a toilet either iyswim. She was pretty fragrant, but the worst thing was that she was walking around eating stuff, like a few grapes out of a bag but not taking the bag to then buy.

I made sure I was ahead of her and upwind.

I felt very sorry for her. But sorrier still for the poor cashier.

I was in Bella Pasta in Covent GRden and a man in a green hairy suit / baby grow thing came and sat at our table and drank my coke then left.

I remember when I was about 10 and me and my friend knocked at this house to take this little baby to the park,she was only 2 years old. The mum was in the garden. My friend said can we take (insert name here) for a walk. The mum said "I don't know where she is, babe. My friend said well if we find her can we take her to the park. Yeah, love of course you can. She didn't know where her two year old baby was and she seemed so calm about it. This baby in question would be late 20's now. xxx

Cycling along a very frosty canal path at 10am one cold winter morning with DF and her DD, passed an old wino standing there, bold as brass, as he was fellated by an equally unfragrant woman on her knees.

Last one was in Reading Town Centre a scabby lady in motorised wheelchair verbally abusing an old lady collecting money for animal abuse (ranting about caring for people first) to the point she was crying before scooting off. DW gave old lady a hug and a tissue.

The acronyms are becoming more prolific, aren't they, Lottie?

I did get 'BM', but I am a Londoner!

Yep Lottie the British Museum :)

People in hypo(hyper?) glycemic comas sometimes do extraordinary stuff whilst unconscious, hence "it's alright, he has diabetes". There's a whole set of criminal case law on whether or not a person with diabetes can be found guilty of crimes committed in that state - it gets more complicated than I can face typing.

British Museum probably - though given the nature of this thread you could be forgiven for thinking Bowel Movement.

FyreFly I am probably being very thick but what is the BM in London???

OH and myself were in a restaurant, seated at banquette type seats that run the length of the wall. Man alongside us proceeded to change his babe's nappy by lying him/her on the banquette. We were half way through our starters at the time!
Couldn't believe it. Complained to the waiter who was just as un impressed!

Late one night in York as a student my DH and I saw a couple having sex in a churchyard. Actually on a grave ??

I've posted this before but still makes me laugh/marvel/wonder

A few years ago I saw a group of very well turned out ladies sitting having a picnic on a rug. They were wearing hats and gloves and eating very expensive looking food out of hampers as well as drinking champagne out of proper champagne flutes.

Nowt that unusual about it.....except this was on the floor of the public loos at Victoria Station.

When I was little (about 9ish) my mum took me and my brother (7 at the time) to London to go to the BM. Afterwards, as it was a beautiful day, we went to a nearby park to have an icecream. We sat down on some benches that formed a ring around a lovely big fountain.

Along comes expensive-city-suit man. He sits on one of the benches as well, and is apparently agitated by the presence of pigeons and sparrows. He chases them a little, then obviously gets bored and returns to his bench. It's a warm day, so he takes his jacket off, folds it neatly and deposits it safely on the bench next to him so it stays clean.

He then takes a running jump, shoes and all, into the fountain, and takes a shower - fully clothed, in a public park, in the middle of the afternoon. By this point the icecreams my brother and I were clutching had been completely forgotten.

After he's satisfactorily clean, he squelches back over to his bench, dons his jacket, and departs with a nod to us and a well-mannered "Good Afternoon".

9-yeay-old me was completely astounded. I've never seen anything like it since, and when I was at uni I went to those Carnage events