19 of the worst presents kids ever gave their parents

Nothing could have prepared us for the diverse and <ahem> resourceful array of crap gifts given to parents by their loving offspring...


1. "I was about eight or nine and my mother asked for something for the house as a Christmas present. I hoofed it to Woollies after school and proudly bought her a shiny new... dustpan and brush."


 

2. "Tea bags and a packet of nylons. I was staying with my aunt for a few days and wanted to bring back a present. My aunt said my mum loved practical presents so that's what I got."



3. "I remember cycling to the local post office and being delighted with the box of drawing pins that I had bought for my mum. She was not good at faking her 'delight' in the morning."



4. "My brother picked up a framed photo of the Pope at his junior school jumble sale and proudly presented it as a gift for my dad. We aren't Catholic."



5. "Fairy liquid. Thought my mum must like doing the washing up as she did it all the time."



6. "Aged six, I bought my dad a cheapo set from Poundstretchers that contained shampoo, conditioner, a comb and hair gel, thinking it was nice bath stuff. My dad is bald."



7. "Dad took us to the garden centre so we could choose my Mum a present each. I didn't have enough money to buy a proper gift but found the bargain bucket and was delighted to find I could afford a packet of slug repellent. I didn't know what it was - I was just glad to have found something I could buy."



8. "My poor dad had a box of Grecian 2000 hair dye as a joint birthday present from my sister and me. We thought we were being very thoughtful."



9. "When I was about nine, I bought my dad half a pound of marzipan from Kwik Save because I knew he liked marzipan."




10. "A half-full box of Maltesers. (The temptation of a full box to my seven-year-old self and six-year-old sister was too much and we poked a hole in the corner and ended up eating lots.)"

really



11. "An Oxo cube dispenser. I thought it was absolute genius. My poor mother."



12. "When I was about 10 I bought my mum some egg cups that were monks and the eggs were their baldy heads…"



13. "I bought my mum a CD of crooner-type songs sung by Jack Duckworth (Coronation Street). And there were the matching Jack and Vera mugs that I know I was responsible for, too. Oh the shame!"



14. "A tea towel. She cried."



15. "I bought my mum an ironing board cover - perhaps I thought she would think of me and be grateful every time she ironed!"



16. "Aged about seven, I proudly produced some 'tubes' for my mum for Christmas. Tampons. I bought my mum tampons."


 

17. "A homemade glasses case that was too small for my dad’s glasses..."



18. "My homemade perfume - basically an ice cream tub half full of rotting vegetation swimming in rancid water…"


 

19. "10 Berkeley red and a pair of tights."



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Last updated: 5 months ago