Parenting: the unairbrushed version

Here at Mumsnet, people tend to say it like it is. So following our gentle ribbing of vom-inducing sentimental Facebook quotes, we were inspired to take on another worrying trend on the social media website: the smiley, soft-focus, romping-through-autumn-leaves portrayals of family life. Ever felt you were alone in your ineptitude? This is for you.


1. "I am looking after my friends' 3 year-old for the weekend. She arrives at 5pm. Lovely, lovely girl. Lovely mum, who for some reason thinks I am trustworthy, drops her off without a fuss.

All is well for a while. We eat dinner, she eats it all up. And dessert. I am cleaning the kitchen, I turn around and she is eating the dog's food out of his bowl -
and then told me - "the doggy's dinner is very tasty."



2. "We get to the doctor's, which was extremely busy, give my name etc and as soon as we sit down my son announces loudly he now needs a poo. So off we go to the toilet. As we come out he bellows - 'I miss that poo mummy, it was my favorite poo ever - it reminded me of Reggie (our dog), did you see it mummy, it had eyes'".



3. "It is possible for a one-year-old to get stuck in a catflap, and if he does, it will be a toss-up whether you free them or run for the camera."



4. "There's no one like a young child for letting your friends know what you really think of them."



5." No matter how squeamish you are, you will, at some point, cup your hands to catch their sick."



6. "I know someone who 'treats' their children to lovely lovely 'tap juice'."




7. "My son has made a large clay cock. I mean it is an erect penis. It is in proportion and quite detailed. He didn't intend it for a cock as far as I know - he was just messing about with clay, but the finished model is quite unmistakeably in the shape of a man's genitalia. It has a bell end and everything." 

8. "Phone call from school: "Your daughter has a tooth in her ear"

<cue WTF face>
She had lost a milk tooth and had decided to keep it safe there (as you do)."





Last updated: about 3 years ago