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"It was all over Anthea Turner" - Mumsnetters share their most ridiculous arguments

"OK, so I caught myself getting cross at my husband when on family holiday for having fruit and fibre for breakfast as he was 'obviously' trying to engineer more 'me time' on the loo away from the kids.

Please, please tell me I'm not the only one to have picked THE most ludicrous fight?"

She wasn't - here are just a few examples of Mumsnetters' <ahem> perfectly legitimate reasons for arguing


1) "Our worst ever (which resulted in him moving out for two days) arose from an attempt to assemble a child's trampoline together." 



2) "I had a humdinger of a row with an ex-boyfriend over the nine times table."


9 times table


3) "My husband and I had an argument over the existence of manatees. He doesn't believe in them, apparently."



4) "We have only had two major rows -  one about a can of tomatoes and the other about the impulse purchase of a fruit bowl."

fruit bowl


5) "There was a huge barney when my husband tried to hang a mirror in the hall. It ended up involving me, him , my mother-in-law, brother-in-law, a neighbour AND the local vicar. Don't ask."



6) "We had a huge row about the word 'well' and its meaning when spoken in different tones. Worst row of our seven and a half year relationship. Was postnatal and sleep deprived."



7) "I had a massive argument with my husband once about the surface area to volume ratio of big penguins vs small penguins.

I won, but can't remember how it ever started."



8) "I hesitated in saying 'yes' when my partner asked if I'd give him a kidney if he ever needed it. Who'd have thought a nano-second pause could cause WW3?"



9) "We have had two difficult pregnancies, the sleep deprivation of two new babies, ill health, bereavements, planning a wedding... but nothing has brought us as close to splitting up as wall lights.

We still haven't decided and I dare not bring it up again. We'll just have to sit in the dark."

wall light


10) "After my second pregnancy, he left the hoover out in the middle of the living room. He never puts the hoover away. I always have to do it. This is because he thinks I don't hoover enough. So this time, I threw it away."

Henry Hoover

11) "My husband and I had a humdinger about spreadable butter..." 


Husband: 'It says on the packet, it spreads straight from the fridge'
Me: 'Yes DH, I appreciate that's what it says, but it actually doesn't, so I just leave it in the cupboard and then it's fine.'

"Cue him having a massive, Basil Fawlty style rant about how he was going to report Lurpack to Trades Descriptions and how I was just far too accommodating and will always take the path of least resistance instead of 'FUCKING SORTING THINGS OUT PROPERLY'. We didn't speak for about three days."

12) "Because he insisted on holding my passport."


"My husband and I had a stupendous row when attempting to re-enter the country about who was going to hold whose passports. He maintained it was simpler and faster if he held them both. I informed him at top volume that this was tantamount to rewinding the whole history of female emancipation and that I wasn't a fucking appendage to him. 

We were returning from our honeymoon." 


13) "Anthea Turner ruined Christmas..."

Anthea Turner

"My whole family fell out one Christmas with my Uncle and Mum storming off from the Christmas dinner table in a massive huff. It was all over Anthea Turner. No one can actually remember why we were arguing except that it was Anthea and she ruined Christmas."




Last updated: over 3 years ago